Are You Crazy?

ok....im really paranoid and i hear shit....i dont take meds though, because no one really knows.

 

you know, I think i'm going absolutely fucking crazy. My mind is littered with thoughts, i say random shit, i twitch every now and then, oh man.. the list goes on... but what the fuck am i supposed to do about it? I'm fucking crazy.

 

Im very crazy.

For one, sometimes if i look at something (like a bridge, wall, or river or something) ill either get really happy, really depressed, or very pissed off. Its kinda strange.

I also get pretty violent thoughts every once and awhile, but i think thats just because most of the morons i go to school with are that fucking dumb.

And of course there is my mental disability of being able to talk to people face to face.

EDIT:

Also, i dont care much that im crazy, were all crazy some how. As long as i dont as crazy as the kid in my school who is taking hormone pills to make himself a girl, im pretty sure im all set.

 

haha i have both those + ocd ..but i find smoking bud helps with the adhd, my medication for turretts still works pretty good. the ocd dont bother me.

but i think im a little schizo, sometime when i listen to music with headphones i think i hear a voice during certain parts of the song. but im pretty sure thats just the pot fucking with my head cause it makes u hearing so sensitive.

but until i find out for sure im not gonna do ne acid. i dont wanna turn out like brad pitt from seven monkeys lol

 

right now..i would probably be certified as crazy, and this is why, i am listening to tool and loving every seangle fucking beat and sound and subwhatsis callingual masterpiecical type shit,
i smoked one of my specialty joints, and i havent smoked but once in a lil over two weeks, i am totally lifted, that point where your eyes close, and you float ofbove the computer and feelinothing but your fingertips n the keyboard and feel the music and curl your toes and feel the warmth of the heater and the fucking music crawling around your ears and tickling the nerves on your brain, its calling meeeeeeee, its calling meeeeeEEEeeeee.....
doom diggy diggy dwang dung all i have to wow holy shit im spinning in my head...i wanna tickle the scabby spot in my mouth where the dentist pulled the tooth out
wow, that sounds like a rant to me, maybe an epic
1:18
i rouse from first complete mind melt off of this SUPERJOINT(tm)(patent pending. code 235JLKWMEKHJ2345JQ;L5J2`L5JL3WJ46....32JO5Q32I4JOTRQMO3FGTJ4QOIA3U9T5J3GWOI4UYET08GHTUISHDERKVJESHJVC22V3WZJN UFIKXCGHJQPBUTREBVOIET
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BAD
wrong..no
unacceptable i shall find a wayy
...i just zoned out
couldnt type
1:24
THAT STUPID FUCKING BITCH DIDNT GET ALL OF MY TOOTH

 

i dont know if im crazy, i mean, like, im crazy, but i dont know im crazy...so im not really crazy because i dont know that im crazy so it all cancels each other out and the crazyness is crazy...yup

i have ADHD, i dont take anything for it tho, i kinda like it...

and i definitatlye have OCD...if there is a group of light switches, they all must be going the same direction (unless im turning a light on to use it or something...) at night before i go to bed i go around the entire house checking the light switches and making them all go the same direction if they are in a group or if they are to the same lights...but once my friend played a mean trick on me, he set some of the light switches to be half way...so none of the other switches for that light worked...so i was just freakin out and shit...

oh and i also think im crazy because when im talkin to myself (not out loud, but like with my thoughts inside my head) i talk like im talkin to a group of people...but then i tell myself to stop doin it or somethin, i dont know...you decide if im crazy, cuz if i decided it wouldnt be fair to myself if i was or i wasnt cuz i dont know...YAY! (sorry for the lenght, but i had to type it all...or i would go crazy!!!! get it? go crazy? HAHA! )

 

yeah, about that earlier...my fucking dentist left a small fragment of tooth inside my mouth...it instantly stopped hurting when i got it out...heh, imagine that.

 

I have major anxiety...i take zoloft for it, but i have been screwing around with my medication cause im an ass, and i have been feeling pretty shitty lately. It also doesnt help that Im double major in bio-chem and philosophy at Harvard...school is really stressing me out lately, im just a freshman and i feel like i have all this shit on my plate and i cant deal. Anyway, you are definatly NOT alone...im sure ppl would look at me and think my life is perfect...but its far from it.

 

I have generalized anxiety disorder and A.D.D. I was always considered a quiet kid when i was little and shy. When i smoke bud my anxiety goes away..i hate being anxious. I take paxil and klonopin daily but the klonopin is weak and the paxil has too many side affects.. I think I want to try xanax time release or soemthing..

 

I do the same thing. Not the light switches, about the talking in my head. Its not just me thinking either, i talk like someone is there to listen. But im kinda obsessive compulsive too. I hate it when things are mixed up. I like to arrange everything so its all grouped together in size or color or type or whatever. its not so bad that i am always doing it though. Only sometimes

 

i have a minor case of paranoia,and i see things when im not stoned and im really twitchy,and i enjoy stabing thing and makking paper cuts in my self

 

I guess I don't have any serious mental disorder, just some short circuiting, a little obsessive compulsive, a lot of attention deficit with occasional hyperactivity... but you know what..these are human traits... not serious problems... I was one spaz of a kid, but i grew out of it... everyone has some manifestation of most "conditions" to varying degrees at varying times.... I use pot for recreation more than anything else. I wouldn't trade ADHD for anything. I've always decided that living with it and working around it is better than some side effect of every medication I've ever taken for it. The only time I take pot to change something I don't like about myself is when i'm heartsick. The rest of the time it's just for fun!

 

i did that once, no wait, yes, no, ok nevermind... SHUT UP!!!

 

so it was twice that you did this thing with toast and egg whites?..or just three times..


oh..and i have a mouse stomping fetish....


ive probably got a little ADD..but nothing im too worried about...


what was i doing?

ooo shiny*drool*


most of the time i can get over it with a little effort and intense meditation of up to 7 hours..then im fine

 

Yeah I used to do that back when I was all coked out and like 80 lbs...i passed out one time from loss of blood, and thats when my ex BF put a stop to that

 

i dunno man sometimes i wanna hunt everybody down in the night hiding in the shadows but close so close that they can feel the warmth......then run up to em grab there heads and slit their mouths from cheek to cheek while spilling thier intestines out from the many stabs the thier rectum.........other times i wanna make a small insition in thier backs reach in and pull out thier spines............sometimes...........i just wanna lay people in a row with thier mouths on the curb and stomp thier faces in until thiers no-one left.........no-one but me.............and thats when the real pain begins....my dream world consists of people hanging from copper nooses from electric wires.....and mothers being nailed to crosses while thier children watch.....then throwing them into wood chipers and spraying them at thier crucified parents.........all while taking rusty sawblades and cutting off thier heads to make an army of frankens.......scalping them while they live and burning them until thier screems stop and then waiting for them to regain conciousness only to burn them again..........only to hear the screems......again........cutting open people and hanging them up by thier ribs from the ceiling so thier intestines may spill out onto the floor.........tying people to the floor and stomping on thier faces until there is nothing left.......beating and cuting everything.........drilling holes in peoples heads and putting rats and maggots in there skulls..........people having there throats slit backwards....having the skin and muscle ripped off thier arms and ripping bones off.............people are tied down to tables and are covered in burning hot coals......and everywhere are people being lowered onto verticle spikes from there asses up........a beautiful nightmare...........its my dream......its my.............. nightmare..................you tell me.....am i crazy...................
if what i speak of is true than can a human really live through these thoughts...........day in and day out..............or would they just kill themselves within minutes.............well if i could i would my friend......but death wont have me......not yet......

 

schizophrenia

sorry, had to.

 

holy jesus christ i think you beat us all.

That is no lie, the most horrendous thing i have ever heard or thought of in my entire life.

 

Uhh yeah. JointGrabbinJay, dunno if that was sarcastic or not, but you need help bro.