Apprentice Tokers guide to basic weed etiquette!

Getting high is fairly easy task, but what many new stoners haven't quite picked up yet is the etiquette that goes along with it. Experienced stoners know the endless frustration of torched bowls, fucked up rotations and mooching that a new toker (sometimes called "that guy") can often bring to a session. Bad manners through ignorance or disregaurd are one of the fastest ways to never get invited back for another bowl, so don't be "that guy" and take these rules to heart.

1. Always listen to advice!
It isn't the end of the world when you torch a bowl on accident, but doing it over and over again when you have been told not to proves that you are as dumb as you act. If someone tells you not to do something or gives you advice, don't take it personally! They are only trying to help. Weed etiquette isn't uniform throughout the world, so there may be things that local smokers will tell you to do that aren't covered in this guide.

2. Don't torch the bowl!
This is one of the most common newbie mistakes and a universally accepted rule in all smoking circles. Only burn a little bit of the green on a fresh bowl so that everyone gets some. Cornering makes the bowl taste better and last longer, so it's just common sense to do it.

3. Puff it, then pass it!
When the pipe, bong, blunt, etc. gets to you, take your hit and pass it on immediately after you are done. Nothing is more annoying then when someone is in the middle of a story, gets the bowl and just sits there for fifteen minutes talking, neither passing or smoking it. Finish your sentance, pause for your hit, then continue once you are done and you won't annoy anyone (unless your story sucks).

4. Know the rotation!
It pisses some people off to no end when the bong is going to the right, and yet somehow it gets back to them the same way they sent it. Don't be the guy who is always going "who does this go to now?" Know the person who you get the piece from and who you give it to when you are done to avoid confusion and double hits.

5. Control yourself!
Have you ever been with someone who is smoking and they act way, way too stoned? You know, the guy who screams "I'M SO HIGH YOU GUYS!" in the middle of the grocery store, rolls around on the ground feeling the grass or carpet, etc? It annoys the fuck out of everyone else, and can be a major buzzkill, so just be calm and chill the hell out when you get baked.

6. Don't be a moocher!
This is one of those things that many people don't realize they are guilty of until it is to late. If someone smokes you up, make sure to pay them back somehow, mainly by smoking your own weed with them some other time. If you don't have weed to throw down on a session buying the munchies is a great way to keep the score even. Giving rides to stoners without a car is also a good way to pay someone back, though eventually you WILL be expected to smoke someone else up as opposed to giving rides or buying food instead.

7. Don't be stingy!
I used to know this dude. I'll call him J. I introduced J to weed. I smoked around two dozen bowls with him before he worked up the courage to purchase his own. When he did, I asked to smoke with him on account of all the times I had gotten him stoned. He told me that he expected me to smoke him up the next day if he did so that things would be "even" between us. He was the type who wouldn't get you something from the dollar menu, despite his purchasing a full meal for himself, even when you had smoked a few bowls of dank with him not a half hour before and drove him to get food. J did this to everyone. He also doesn't have any friends anymore. Don't be like J.

There are many finer points to smoking etiquette, but I won't be listing them here. This is, after all, the BASIC etiquette guide, though I do suggest that anyone who has something else to add does so. Following these rules should keep you in good standing with your stoner buddies. Above all, make sure to keep learning as you smoke more.