Am I being selfish?

Discussion in 'General' started by GaNinja, Oct 9, 2010.

  1. Okay..for those who don't know my grandmother whom I was VERY close with passed away 3 weeks ago...My grandfather and grandmother lived minutes away from where me and my family live...So the past 3 weeks we have been making sure that he hasn't been alone..someone has stayed with him every night since she has passed away...Ive been there about 18-19 of those 21 days...I have two sisters and one of them hasn't been over the other one spent the night 2 maybe 3 times...Its the weekend..Iv'e been with my grandfather for days on end now and just want the weekend as a break to go it up, hit the bars..get drunk and forget about shit for two nights...

    They said that someone would take my place for Friday and Saturday so I could do me...well lo and behold now its friday and noone wants to step up to the fucking plate so I gotta go back again tonite...Now Im all about sacrifice and I love my grandfather to death..he needs someone there for now because he hasn't been alone his whole life (had 8 siblings and married at age 19 so he's never been alone) I do love him I just need my time yo...Am I being selfish GC...for those who listened I appreciate any advice...thanks GC /rant
  2. i know how you feel man i had to do the same when my Gma passed, i had to keep my gpa from working himself to death (82 years old diggin up a field in the rain) hell he's healthier than i am but those days where i had to see him sit and just sigh when she wasn't there that's what killed me.

  3. Yeah..and every morning I wake up to Carol Carpenter songs which makes it even sadder..I know he is still lonely and sad even tho Im there...Idk...I feel like Im being selfish by just wanting me clear my head...during the funerals and such I tried not to cry to be strong for others..Idk...Its worth it in the end I suppose
  4. I don't know if you're being selfish, but I know what I would do in that situation. I'd suck it up and spend that time with him because I'd have many, many more weekends in the future to relax and have fun. Your grandmother's death is a one-time thing and so is giving your grandfather company after that loss.

    All of my grandparents are deceased and I definitely wish that I had spent more time with them while they were alive.

  5. Hmm..I hear ya...Idk..its not even just about being out and partying..that's just how i clear my mind...Im just so sad when Im around him because I know he's so torn up...I heard him cry himself to sleep the other night...I try to stay strong but im not gonna an emotional dude and its killing me...Im just pissed that nobody in my family will pinch hit for me...I' say your gonna do something do it...idk...thanks for the advice tho homie

    Another thing is I agree..i also wished i would have spent more time...but my grandmother knew I loved her...I don't mind sacrificing but I just want 1-2 nights..thats it...its gonna be another couple of weeks that I know im going to be there and I just want a little "15 minute" break
  6. A little bit of selfishness is healthy. Everyone needs a break. You've done more than stepped up to the plate. You've gone above and beyond. It shows what an incredible person you are. Most people would just put their elderly relatives in a home and forget about them. Don't feel bad for having honest emotions. Everyone gets burnout and needs to blow off steam. Put your foot down with your family and tell them you need help.

  7. Thanks man..thats exactly what I needed to hear...I don't want anyone thinking that im being selfish or a bad person because I just want a little bit of time...I know he's going through the roughest period he will ever go through...I do not see it as a burden at all...just want a break...My fam is making me out to be the bad guy and its so frustrating...idk...For tonite I guess I will just once again step up to bat and try and hit a homer...Ill do me Saturday night I guess..its just not worth arguing with my family about and I don't wanna make my Grandfather feel unwanted or like a burden...I am just so frustrated..When she passed I was inbetween jobs and was filling out alot of applications..I got 2 job offers but instead decided to wait on a job and help out my grandpa...No sacrifice no glory I suppose
  8. Oh, I definitely think your family should help you out and not be pricks about it.

    But if they wouldn't, that's when I would just bite the bullet. Besides, I'm sure your grandfather wouldn't mind if you took a couple hours off to just clear your head. Maybe try giving him some positive distractions? Going out to dinner, watching a movie, or something.

    I know how much dealing with death sucks.

  9. I just don't understand where they are coming from...How am I the bad person in this...I am biting the bullet and would do it for months or years if i have to..i love my grandfather that much...its just bull ya know...Oh well...Ill take a few bullet wounds for my family
  10. simply put you're not the bad person in this. it's only so long you can give your life up to make someone's better. At some point you need to take tiem for you don;t feel guiltry
  11. I wouldn't worry too much about what they think about you. I'm sure your grandfather is beyond grateful that he has a relative that cares so much. I have an uncle that lives with my grandparents. That's usually how it is around here. Someone moves in and takes care of them until they pass on. Most extended families live on the same land so we share pretty much everything. It's has taken my girlfriend a bit to get used to but she is liking it.

    Stick to your guns. They need to learn the importance of family. You shouldn't have to be the only one to help out. Good luck.
  12. talk to him be like yo gramps I need some time to recoup i'll be back later aight gangsta, love you
    see what hes got to say :smoke:

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