Alright.. new school.. want to get in a relationship.

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Smoked All Dat, May 11, 2010.

  1. Alright well, Im 18 and still in HS. I stayed back so next year Im becoming a senior but I am switching schools. I've had past relationships but not many. I really hope I can have more and Im not sure where to start. No one at this school knows me so all of my reputation..good or bad.. is now erased. Im not the ugliest person but I know I'm not the cutest either. The thing that bothers me is my hair and forehead. First, my forehead is giant. People tell me "No it's not" but it's big. I try to either hide it with a hat or push my glasses up further. I dunno but I try lol. My hair is a whole other story. First off, Im half black and half white so you know my hair is fucked up. If I let it grow, it's rather nappy yet soft and smooth. If it gets long, it curls up into an afro basically. It's basically normal afro hair but softer I guess. Theres not much I can do with it. It's a dirty blonde color, darker in some places but not noticable unless you stare at my hair lol.

    Anyways, besides how ugly I am, I am trying to have a new attitude and such. I've always been nervous around people.. anybody. I've stuttered since I was like 6 but Im not TOO bad at stuttering and I don't stutter that often. Besides that, I am trying to develop a different attitude. Im usually outgoing and I like to make people laugh.. but if no one knows me cracking a joke can either make or break a chance. They might laugh and think it's hilarious or give me the "Who the fuck are you" look. I don't know if I should act like I usually do or just .. be shy I guess. Im really not sure. There are sooo many cute girls at this school and I mean.. I don't really know how to make any of them like me. I think that I am a really nice guy. Im not stuck up but I will bend over backwards for any of my friends and basically any girl, even if I'm not dating her. In my old school, all my friends came to me with their problems. Girls, guys it doesn't matter. Everyone always complimented me and said Im really good at fixing people's problems. Girls come to me alot to help them with their relationship problems, which kind of piss me off because half the time I would love to get with the girl yet I am trying to help her get over or get back with her lying/cheating/rat bastard/asshole boyfriend. Anyways, I am just confused about it all. I really want to make a good first impression. I would like people to respect me or feel shy around me. I really don't want to be the guy that everyone doesn't even take a second glance at. I want to be the guy who the cute girl will be like "Ooh.. whos that?". Not "Ew... whos that?"

    I'm not really sure what I am asking you guys to tell me but I would like some feedback on the overall subject.

    Btw.. I am really insecure about myself. Most girls I ever asked out shot me down lol.

  2. You sound like that guy/girl that everyone goes to when they have problems. You give them advice, console them, and send them on their way. First of all, stop getting involved with everyone elses love life and focus on yours. Don't go to this new school with the intention of re-inventing yourself as something you are not, just be yourself. Immerse yourself in social situations if you're a 'shy' person, face your fears, they're nothing like you imagine them to be and you'll be able to cope. Your best way 'in' would be to befriend several girls and make your way in that way, since you don't sound like you have the confidence to 'woo' a girl in the traditional sense.
  3. Well I mean I just figured that after I while of helping these girls they will finally notice that I am worth something lol. I mean legit right now. I help these girls get over all their bullshit and I barely get a thank you. I don't understand.

    Like last summer.. there was this girl I liked all year and she had this asshole boyfriend that broke her heart and I consoled her. I still do to this day but she has no interest in me even though I would be the best bf to her basically. I would treat her like an angel and all I do is see her with these assholes that don't even like her and just want her body. I just don't understand. Do girls like being thrown away and shit? Do they like being treated like a piece of shit? :confused_2:

  4. Oh my. You have a lot to learn. You consoling these girls isn't a signal of you liking them, and I'm guessing you didn't demonstrate your feelings toward her in any way? When she comes crying to you with boyfriend troubles, you are 'equal' with her girl friends who she gossips with. Don't expect her to have any mutual feelings towards you unless you make your position clear. She had no idea how you felt.
  5. Helll no. We kissed the year prior but it didn't mean anything. I even told her that I really liked her about a week ago. About 2 weeks ago she had bf troubles again and I helped her through it ALLLLLLLL and thats when I told her. She kinda made this weird face and said why? She said "It would be weird because I've known you forever." Yeah we have been friends for like 5 years but I mean.. so? I don't see the problem. Anyways, I was talking to her and said "If we didnt know each other for so long we would make the perfect couple" and she smiled but didn't say anything. I dunno. she obviously doesn't have feelings for me so Im not really after her anymore but it's still frustrating that she falls for these assholes that don't even like her and she doesn't even mean anything to them but when I actually care she pushes me away.

  6. At our age, it's all a game. You have to play the game, some win, and some lose. You'll get the hang of it after a while. Stop being so available to these girls, you don't sound like the 'occupied' type, but don't make yourself available for any girl 24/7, make sure you have a life and friends before you go looking for a girlfriend. Being busy, being popular, is attractive. Being indifferent, is attractive, don't be too emotional. Take the lead, make her laugh, and she'll be yours.

    You went about it with that girl all the wrong way man. I'm not gonna dwell on the past but that's not the way to go about telling a girl you like her.
  7. Lol well I guess I agree with you on that because it DIDNT work lol. But yeah I do have a life and friends and such. Im always the class-clown and everyone laughs, but no one ever has feelings for me. I have lots of friends and we are always hanging out. I don't know what to do basically. It's confusing

  8. Your friends, mainly male? Female? Close friends consist of? I'm guessing your friendship group doesn't consist of relationship-savvy and experienced guys, but if it is, try and get them to give you a few pointers. I really can't explain how I 'connect' with girls and show them I'm attracted to them. In essence, it's all teasing. ALL teasing. It's all I do. Establish some 'private jokes' between you that you can laugh about and talk about together. More will come. Touch her, play with her, tickle her, punch her (yes), grab her, hug her, spend time with her, she will have feelings for you. I can guarantee it. It may seem juvenile and it only really works for a certain type of girl. Show her she can trust you.
    It's so hard for me to explain in writing. Just jump into some situations that you aren't really comfortable with, jump in the deep end, the wierdness will pass and you'll get some practice. Don't be afraid of getting shot down.
  9. I was kinda in the same situation till I got to college. I had low self confidence and I mumble a lot. Your probably over exaggerating things in your head. I know ugly dudes who are going bald that get girls. Its all about confidence. Get some confidence in yourself and the rest will follow.

    Maybe lower your standards a bit also. I mixed too so I understand the whole hair thing I just keep mine short with a fresh line. I was also real skinny like 5-11 130 pounds in high school. I hit the gym now Im about 175 and ripped. Helped with my confidence. I know have the girl of my dreams and cant keep the girls off me.

    Also, dont always be the nice guys. Girls like dick so be a dick lol. Try being a dick to girls and see what happens they love the attention. I don't mean verbally pound em just crack jokes with them etc. It wouldnt hurt to try. Also, just go up and talk to them thats the only way to get used to talking with girls. Whats the worse that could happen? When your in a relationship dont be toooo nice or your gonna get your feelings hurt and shes gonna run all over you.
  10. Hurt and neglected pussy is easy pussy to get trust me on this. Once you get the girl the other girls will be on you too.
  11. girls always go for the asshole that treats them like guys that are nice to them are too easy. I heard this from a chick once... "i like assholes because its a challenge, nice guys are so easy and i get bored."

    I'm right there with you man...two of my BEST friends are girls and they both always come to me with their relationship problems, im crazy about the one and I can also see myself with the other one ,but its never gona happen. Believe me man i know how you feel. it sucks
  12. what are examples of meeting a girl for the 1st time and acting like a asshole?
  13. Yeah thats what I was doing but the giant forehead makes it look ugly lol. Also I have been working out and trying to build my body up. Im a little chubby but im definately not obese or "fat." Im working on getting the fat down and getting a sixpack. Well Im trying :p.

    Lol this is all I do with the girl I talked to you about. I always slap her ass. Probably 10 times a day lol. Always poke her stomach. She always giggles. But she doesn't have feelings for me, or if she does they aren't strong enough or whatever. Whatever there are more girls.
  14. If your decided whether to be outgoing or shy definitely be outgoing. Someone will always give you that " who the fuck are you look" but there will also always be other people who think your funny. If your shy then they don't know what to think and will still pass judgment on you just in that case they don't even really know who you are.

    Trust me I'm a shy dude and I would love to be able to be outgoing and show who I am to pepole when I first meet them its just hard. If you can do that then why in the hell would you want to be shy?
  15. You can't force chemistry with a girl, but I have to agree with being a dick, it works. Not a real dick, but just fucking around with them. I used to be just like you. I was a nice guy, and everytime I had a chance with a girl I liked, nothing ever happened. It finally occurred to my why this happens. I didn't do anything to make them more interested. Girls don't want that nice guy shit, it's not mysterious. Nice guys put their feelings out there too soon and expect the girl to come to them with the same. A confident dude might have feelings, but doesn't need to tell the girl because she's more into him than he is her. Being confident not only changes other peoples view of your, but it changes your own view of yourself. I always thought that acting like a cocky asshole is just retarded and there's no way girls ACTUALLY like guys like that...Oh the irony.

    Look at it like this: You're walking up to a girl you like and say hey, whatsup, how are you, blah blah the typical boring conversation. You're walking up to a girl you like and you give her a little elbow as you walk past her and continue walking to go talk to other people. Which one do you think a girl would enjoy more?

    Now, I know it sounds pretty stupid, but doing retarded crap like that works all the time. I'm not saying to do that exactly, just a generalization. It shows that you're confident in yourself, you like her but you've got other things you would rather do. Also, it makes you a bit mysterious. You just need to play the game bro, that's all it is. Who is more appealing, the guy on the bench helping people who got hurt while playing, or the guy who is in the game scoring? Yea, it really is that simple. Most people who have experience can tell you thats how it works. Live and learn friend, live and learn.
  16. Lol damn. I always do mess around with them lol. Always. Slap on the ass. A nice sexy comment. Tickle. Tried it all and none of it works lol.
  17. You can always go with the fro idk how it would look mine doesnt come out quite right its like a mix of straight and curly. You could just wear a lot of hats like Turtle in Entourage.

    A trip I decided too be a dick because I wanted to try it out. I just said a bunch of sexist things made fun of their driving and their height etc and they loved it haha. They were on my dick. Forget being the nice guy if you continue one day when you do get a girl she will run all over you and hurt you. Then you will turn into a real asshole. Thats how the cycle works
  18. You don't want to be on the girls nuts too much like worship them with sexy comments and be a horn dog by grabbing/slapping their ass. If you act too interested they don't like that. You don't want to give a shit and be cocky. Practice makes perfect dont be scared who gives a fuck.

    I have a friend who verbally pounds bitches. I can't believe the shit he says to random girls and he still gets them. He is a loud mouth and usually the center of attention so bitches naturally gravitate toward him.
  19. Don't be embarrassed by your forehead its prly not that bad. I have a big head its longer than it is wide. Like a 7 5/8 fitted is tight for my head. Anything bigger and the gaps on the sides are redic. Nobody is perfect just bring out your other attributes. When you get over your forehead drama you will be fine. Try some contacts too if you wear glasses.

  20. Yeah, uh this^. Exactly what I was trying to describe, but simplified. +rep

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