De-lurking because I'm bored. So hello. I've been thinking a lot on virginity lately. The social significance, the biological significance, blah blah blah. I've come to decide that virginity is highly overrated. I mean, how many people had a good experience, yet we put it up on this pedestal. The whole reason it's been held in such high regard for thousands of years is purely biological - male virgins weren't as biologically "fit" since they weren't increasing the chances of passing on their genes, while female virgins were desired because any child she bore would more likely belong to her husband/cherry-popper. Mini-rant over.
hi there yea i agree virginity is so over rated. if it wasnt put on a pedestal the virgins wouldnt have this mindset of "i want it to be special". at least as much as they do today. if someone genuinely wants to wait until they meet someone they love then thats totally fine but i cant help but feel 80% of these people want to wait because its more of a social norm to do so these days i say everyone go back to the way sex (probably) was 2,000 years ago... just fuck whoever you want if you feel like fucking them.
i dont know i was waiting bc i was scared it woould hurt or something. I lost it at 17 to someone i didnt know and someone i didnt wna have sex with.( bc of that I think people should wait till they think theyre ready and mature enough to handle the consequences it theyre are any. I think when ur ready is up to each person tho I think it dif for everyone. tho i hear of people losig it at like 12 or 13 and i think thats too yound i dont think a 13 is mature enough to understand if thye getting taken advantage of in some way. wait till you can understand whether or no its just sex and whether or not that bothers you. id you have some grasp of those concepts go ahead and fuck whoever u want lol
I was 17 and I wanted to wait but my then boyfriend decided I probably wouldn't mind too much if he just accidentally "slipped". I wanted to have sex so I didn't really mind but he didn't have to be a pussy about it. I realize now that virginity is pretty irrelevant as long as you understand what you're doing and are careful/protect yourself. My sister lost hers at 12. That is WAY too young. I was 14 or 15 and she went fucking crazy, like batshit fucking crazy. I had no fucking clue wtf was wrong with her since she all of a sudden became such a cunt. I found out a couple years ago that was when she lost it. It was like OH so you lost your virginity when you were still afraid of the dark and sleeping in bed with mom at night. Oh and still had a good bit of dolls...that's not scary at all >.> It caused her a lot of emotional problems even though she said it was her decision (the boy was the same age as her and in the same grade so I didn't have to retroactively kill him). I think that if sexual education was better in the US, teenage sex wouldn't be so bad. Its going to happen regardless but when I decided I wanted to really do it, it took 2 months of preparing to go to planned parenthood so I could get birth control without anyone in my immediate family knowing what was up. I think virginity is important in some ways because many people just are not prepared for the emotional baggage that comes with it or don't know what to expect and just do it. I think most kids when they do it the guy might know whats up but the girl, her parents have been trying to protect her and shelter her so she has no idea whats going on. Whereas the guy's parents are like hey if you do it, use a condom. I didn't get a sex talk until I was 16, when most girls in my class had already lost their virginity lol. But now that I'm older and get whats going on I love sex hahaha but saving yourself for marriage is kind of noble in a way if you really want to do that for yourself, not as a "present" for the guy. IMO sex is an important part of intimacy and a relationship, and its much better to work out what you enjoy now before you get with some guy who may not enjoy the things you enjoy in the sack.
whoa ivce realized you make a lot of sense thats basiaclly everyhting i was trying to say. I lost my virginity at 17 too and I didn't want to either. I love sex now lol but its true a young girl just isnt equipped to deal with the emotions after sex which I think are more prevalent the first time. my solution to these feelings. when u start thinking u wana find some1 u trust and like date them get to know them. if u wana fuckt them.. fuck the shit outta of them lol. but thats me I like having a boyfriend I don't understand casual sex well i do but id get sad i think. anyways point is a young kid cant deal with that sadness and abandonment shit which theyll feel bc who has a serious relationship at a young age. i think the thing to do is educate young my parents were always very liberal so maybe thats why I had a dif veiw on sex to me i wasnt really curious like some people I just thought itd happen when the time was right. even tho it didnt happen right i can still make the decisions now so im happy im sure my bf is too hahaha
yeah my family had the attitude of sex is evil and if you have it you're going to hell Like when they found out (yeah don't let you mom dig through your shit omfg) my family started treating me like damaged goods and like I was a whore Even though my sis had already lost it, she called me a slut repeatedly. Needless to say, since it happened right after my 18th birthday I moved out. My experience with my family forced me to really think about how I would want to handle sex if I ever decide to have kids. I can tell you that I was so extremely responsible it hurt my teeth, and then I turned 18 LAWL. Bible belt FTL is all I can say about it. It not like we ever went to church either lol it was just how they were raised I guess I wish people would treat sex as something that wasn't taboo or secret or evil, everyone eventually does it if they can and its way better to teach kids about safe sex and about the risks of sex than to let them find out the hard way. The only reason I knew about birth control was because of school and tv ads. And that is just wrong, I could have ended up like another girl in my class and been preggers with my second kid before I graduated high school. Its unfair to the kids and the kids they have, it just perpetuates ignorance. <---not passionate about it or anything
Im gonna have to disagree that its the "social norm" to wait, most teens now have sex long before they meet someone they love. I mean, how many 19+ year old virgins do you know? most people aren't in love before they are 20 or so, but most people that are that age have had sex. I'd say with the influences and role models young women have today, having sex earlier on is the social norm
I am not a virgin and I think it's really bad in our society that if a person says his a virgin, he automatically gets looked down upon and people go like "awww that's so cute!" or "ohh you missed so much!" when honestly the person didn't miss anything and shouldn't really listen to all the idiots.
How is it like that today? You don't meet many virgins who make it past their early 20s. Seems to me everybody wants to fuck now and not wait.
It's wrong and sad, but that's the way society functions unfortunately. I lost mine just so I could say "no" whenever asked the question. It didn't mean anything to me. Sex after was no more or no less awesome/special.
Oh my god, when I lost my virginity it was terrible. I lasted maybe 9 minues and when I came I didnt realize it until a few seconds later. I was like, that was it? It's stupid.
i said 80% of people of wait, their reason is because its just kinda accepted, and they dont actually have any reason to wait not 80% of all people
Around here it's a almost a sin to have your virginity.... No lie dude. A LOT of people in my school(senior btw) have fucked more than 20 times. There are noooooo virgin women =(
I'm a virgin. And frankly, it sucks. Society has kind of made me this way. I feel a disconnect from sex, basically. When I see couples I think of them having sex like I see in porn and it weirds me out that normal people actually do it on a regular basis. Sex in general weirds me out, but at the same time I, of course, want to have it since I am indeed a human being! I hate the situation, but that's just what's happened in my mind. Every time I've ever come close to having sex some subconscious thing has shut it down and pushed that person away as far as they could go. All of a sudden I go into a shell. I wish I could just take a side. Either abstain from sex altogether and have no problem with that or just start fuckin'. I think most of it comes from the fact that I've never felt a connection to any girl and I don't exactly see the point in jumping through all the ridiculous hoops in the rules of attraction just to fuck somebody I don't particularly give a shit about. The two opposing ideas are soon going to rip my fucking head in two.
Rofl, that is sooo fucking true, how many person can say they didn't fuck because of peer pressure at ALL? I mean, that guy/girl who says he did it only so she/he could say 'no' when asked is something that happens wayyyy too often. There are too many people who don't really do it because they want to/are ready to, they just do it so they can be like everyone else and stop being annoyed or want people to stop telling them the ''that's so cute/you missed so much bullshit''. Lol, it's fucking retarded. And I don't agree with the thing about people who wait just do it because it's ''generally accepted''. If they remain a virgin past 19-20, there's a 100% chance people will annoy them with virginity. They have real good reasons to remain virgins. They don't do it because it's ''easy and easily accepted''. Likethe others said, the real ''society norms'' is that it's good/cool to lose your virginity young.