advice on pot and depression/ptsd

I am a 20 year old college student. I just dropped out of school for a semester because I have been struggling for the last three years with mental issues (described in more detail below). I have not been able to tell if pot is part of the cause of these problems, part of the reason I have had such trouble shaking them, or if pot is not related to the problems and really is only giving me the relief that I perceive it to.

OKay... Ive been a pot user since freshmen year of college, three years ago. I smoked rarely prior to this time. After going through a breakup and handling it poorly I ended up with extremely persistent and pervasive thoughts relating to the relationship that would keep me from falling asleep until I was completely exhausted. For two months I was an insomniac, my circadian rythm was nonexistent, id get to bed usually between 5:00am and 9:00am. I was getting very desperate, the lack of sleep left me barely able to attend classes and socially i was completely retracted. Thankfully I had a very kind room mate and an equally open floor, so even with my odd sleep habits and self imposed ostracism I was able to maintain a meek but life-giving group of good friends.
Regardless, as I watched my grades plummet I also started to realize that not sleeping was taking a serious toll on my mental and physical well being. Up until this time I had smoked pot AT MOST twice a week, more often once a month. After coming back from christmas break my room mate (at the time an ex-pothead) came off probation and immediately started smoking habitually again. There were plenty of days during second semester that I went without a toke, but that was the definitive beginning of my pothead career; I quickly found that a bowl at night would keep me sleeping like normal. Since then its been nothing but clouds of pot smoke... as my tolerance raised I became more invested in MMJ, during my most smokey months I was burning four grams a day from the first half hour I woke up to the last half hour I was awake.
For some reason I havent been able to shake the attatchment that I have to this girl. Worse, I have really struggled to re-enter the available social life that surrounds me in college. The opposite sex has been my biggest struggle of all... I havent dated a single girl and the few that I have been intimate with resulted in astounding failure. Ive seen a therapist, his accession was that I was depressed, due to a traumatic experience within my past relationships. He also thought that I had probably developed some type of stress disorder, most likely PTSD.

After three years of this it became apparent to me that I was not going to be able to handle the situation any longer. I started seeing the aforementioned therapist and a couple weeks ago I started a prescription of 10mg of celexa daily. I am REALLY uncomfortable with taking an SSRI, and I cant help but wonder how it interacts with marijuana. I know that alcohol is to be avoided (and i try....), but pot really just makes me feel good. I feel as though i probably should stop for at least a little while (i could use the tolerance break...) but at the same time it offers me so much relief from the way I feel that sometimes I think it is the only thing that keeps me going.

So to anyone that has experience with this, I would really appreciate any wise words.

Thanks.

 

Thank you so much for the reply. I'm not completely clear on what you mean by associating everything, but that reminds me of one strange bad habit i have noticed in myself over the last six months or so. I tend to associate things that my four room mates say and do with this strange and awful feeling that they are all omniscient of my struggle and conversely desperate to help me but at the same time really exasperated by me. I always find myself thinking that i somehow suck the energy out of a room and leave akwardness. I was not so aware of this irrational tendency until a particularly harsh acid trip... since that trip ive taken shrooms twice and experienced similar negative trips, in the past shrooms had offered me a pretty damn good time.

haha, its funny I try to maintain that very same set of mind.

 

yeah i have a clean medical record. I was diagnosed with depression at 9 and medicated with zoloft for 9 months.

Thanks for the clarification king, got it now.