... to my guitar My beloved Bertha The Nefariously Gained(1) Soon it'll be 2 years since I freed you from your prison inside a public school.(2) I carried you on my bike along with a 15 pound amp tied to the handlebar while being paranoid as hell. But we made to this day without getting arrested. Many bitches did you get on my dick and for that I thank you. Authors notes (1) all my instruments are named bertha. My bass is named bertha the fat black lady , my red sg is named bertha the menstruating and my drum set's called bertha the masochist. (2) I was drunk, thought the government owed me one so I smashed the window of my former school and grabbed my guitar. No idea why but it must've been love at first sight