A couple of my poems, please comment!

Discussion in 'The Artist's Corner' started by MNs Finest, Oct 2, 2010.

  1. I lay my head down at your feet,
    cuz in the battle ive been beat
    dont fear lads i am the one,
    let it be known, my will be done

    im the mad with wooden bat
    swing it round my mighty axe
    im too strong for my own good
    this power in me misunderstood

    i write the scroll that told the word
    this mighty tale that i have heard
    i share with others so they can know
    because the voices told me so

    chronicle of disaster

    I wrote my story,
    across the page.
    will you listen,
    ears engage?

    Lady spilling,
    wine on dress.
    does she know,
    shes a drunken mess?

    No worries, thats my wish
    wish i was, numb to pain
    but pain seems to be the only thing i feel
    it seems to fall on me like rain.

    Man with with cane,
    needs help walking,
    stumbling down the street.
    no one helps him,
    no one cares,
    as he trips over his feet.

    he falls down,
    flight of stairs,
    down these stairs,
    body fell
    no one even helped this man,
    this world has gone to hell.

    No one helps but for themself,
    greed is the way of life,
    rich man, cheap hooker,
    fuckin cheating on his wife.

    Take money, from the poor,
    shoot em alll, in the head,
    is this how we want it,
    soon the good will all be dead.

    Fucked up shit is raining down,
    nothing can help the cloud.
    broken glass, time will pass,
    all will sucumb, and forget the past.

    I need someone to love me

    as i lay in bed at night,
    tucked underneath my covers,
    i start to think about my life,
    many things i start to wonder

    i think about how i need someone
    someone i can tell them i adore
    someone i can so i love you
    and they say i love you more

    someone i can cuddle with
    and give them a sweet, gentle kiss
    someone who when were not together
    im the one that they miss

    i want someone to say im cute
    and i say not as cute as you
    and then i say u mean the world
    and they say so do you

    this is my dream at night
    but is a dream all it is?
    cause if this dream doesnt come true

    i dont know how i can live

    King of Godly Age

    rock wall, avalanch,
    purple haze of turkey ranch
    steal the tree, of its branch
    kick the farmer, take a stance

    donkey reighns
    eat the wheat
    save the flower
    eat the beats

    dont know who
    killed the flock
    egypt mistress
    sucked the cock

    wavy sirens ground of grass
    what the flock of fishing bass
    lose the horse and ride an ass
    up the sun till star will pass

    I need my happy
    if i am happy
    let it be it
    let it be life
    try try to push it away
    it gets stronger
    it flows back in
    in the minds eternal bin
    will this ever end
    this perfect illusion?
    i hope not
    i wanna be fooled.

    The wall tuned to scribbles
    it turned to candles
    drifted off
    it was a castle
    changed before my eyes
    song dies
    wall cries
    good bye
  2. good beans.:wave:
    i liked the first one.

    strange beautiful,
    with your majestic silver seams,
    knowing makes you divine

    a lil somethin i just pooped out. i'm an amateur.:rolleyes:

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