I used to be a topless club DJ, back in my younger days. Funnest, and weirdest job in existence, at least the working conditions can't be beat, you can work as high as you want, and get some pretty good stories to tell your grandchildren someday... Anyway, one day I dropped some acid, and went in to work a day shift at a sleazy little joint on the east side of town called the "Box". As I started a song by the Cult, Sweet Soul Sister, I think it was, a little honey named Dixie, or Brandy or some other alias, stopped into the DJ booth and gently stroked my thigh, just as I was just getting off on the L, and said, "Thanks, I love that song! I'm going to grow titties all over my body dancing to this!" I almost died laughing and came in my pants simultaneously. It would have been a perfect death scene,IMHO. But I wrote this poem in honor of that crazy trip, and that stripper, whoever she was, for inspiring such a wonderful vision. If Everyone's body was covered in tits tits where their hands are tits on their lips If Everyone's body was COVERED by tits Would all the men finally stop staring? If all of our bodies Were covered in breasts pairs on our ass cheeks as well as our chests If bodies had hundreds of really nice breasts Would the ladies still dance on the poles? If Everyone's body had boobs by the score boobs on their earlobes and kneecaps and more If everyone's body Had boobs by the score Would Tipping become an actual city in china? If everyone's bodies had honkers and hooters the nips overlapped Like rush hour commuters If everyone's bodies had honkers and hooters Could we still take care of our waitress and bartender? Needless to say, I got some pretty sweet rewards in my tip jar that night, including old what's her names number. The DJ in a strip club takes no credit though...Cash Only! Memories...
That was an inspiring story. . . I may just go get implants placed all over my body! Boobiliciousness!
"Thanks you, thank you, all youflesh starved preverts,you know,we do it all for you guys, just to show you a good time, so step up to the stage and slip a dollar tip on the hip of the fox who rocks the center stage with a body that's so hot she could be arrested for commiting arson in my pants...give up your love, and your hard earned cash, maybe even throw in some of your private stash,haha, just get loud and get wild and enjoy the view, this is BAMBI!!!!!!!! The Wild Child!" Strippers names can be very misleading. You hear the name "Bambi" and you don't expect to see a girl come out doing a double backflip into a flying splits coming down onto the stage like a nearly naked ninja warrior, attacking all enemies of the flesh! But this Bambi could fly! You may not realize this, but some strippers are incredibly talented athletes. OK, you may think that, but at least not in the martial arts, right? A stripper who could beat the shit out of most of the fatass lazy bastards in the audience? A stripper who has a perfect body and face, and a big vial of cocaine to keep her feeling energetic, could probably rule the world, or at least rule the dark side of the city, where the hornymen go seeking poledancers and lap dancers for visual stimulation before they go out looking for hookers.... I'm sorry where was I? Oh yeah, strippers with unusual talents...Well, Bambi could do a trick that got men's attention from anywhere in the room, even out in the parking lot...she could slap her ass with all her might, and make a sound so loud, that it was like a movie sound effect! WHAP! She would smack herself and coyly look around to make sure she had the undivided attention of the room, and then... WHAP! WHAP! two quick ass-slaps in time to the music! And then, while she swung wildly from the pole, the hand prints would start to appear, slowly, red and tenderized, on her asscheeks, giving her the illusion of a large pair of hands tattooed on her butt! She had an ass that could crack walnuts, btw. It was totally Orangutanian, the way she reddened that heiney for money. I watched her do this for a year, and it never ceased to amaze me. She never bruised, no matter how many times a night she did this trick. I always thought she would be a wild one to tangle with in bed, but she was married to a guy who was about as fucking wild as her, and also as crazy. So I never extended my lustbone to her, I'm afraid I would have bored her, I can barely take a punch, let alone, beat myself silly for a buck or two. She did it because she was good at it, and we all appreciated her for her genius. Bambi, wherever you are tonight, i hope your still able to smack it as loud as you like...and I hope you smack it one more time for me!
Right on pope! Are those the. . .? And who's that who's that in the background? Man, Clinton loves bush!!!!