So I'm living with this girl, and we've been together for like 1 year 8 months. I'm only twenty and i feel like this is just so serious. I feel like i'm married. It doesn't help that she is way to attached and is basically convinced we're getting married eventually. These "fears" of mine are kind of a recent developement, i was head over heels in love with her befor.. But really i think living with her changed it, i dont not like her, i still love her. but this is my first serious relationship, and ive learned things i like in relationships and things i dont like (ie: clinginess, over emotional-ness.). Really i just dont want to be in any relationship right now. but then thats just how i feel sometimes. I like being with her, im usually happy. and sometimes i think im being selfish in not wanting a relationship when i know how much that would really hurt her. things are usually good 5 nights a week, id say maybe 2 nights a week she's all upset and she'll go from being all pissy and bitchy at me to crying and wanting me to hold her. but 2 nights a week is 104 days a year. So do i really want to spend 104 days a year dealing with that? I go back and forth every day on how i feel about this, i just dont think im ready for something this serious. Love is rediculous. Why does it have to fade? I don't understand why i dont love her like i did befor. she hasnt really changed, maybe ive just changed? I cant even tell her this because really it would break her heart and i don't want to hurt her like that. I think my happiness should be more important, but i guess i am happy enough, how do i even know if i'd be more happy not with her? Or is that just me putting her happiness first and justifying it? Ugh. Time for another bowl i'd say
First off, if this is how you are feeling, you need to address this to your girlfriend. If you guys are in a serious relationship, and you are having mixed emotions its better to talk things out with her instead of being worried about breaking her heart. Its always better to tell someone the truth rather than have them clueless about how you truely feel. Living with someone is a big step, no matter what age.. that's something that probably wasn't thought through at first.. but shit happens. Clingyness? Maybe she's not feeling the love from you she needs.. idk. But its best to talk it out with her and come up with a solution if you really want the relationship. Maybe you guys could take turns going out / hanging out with friends certain nights out of the week? Whatever it is that you do, just be real with her.. wish you the best of luck!
Ps. Love doesn't fade.. you just have to come up with ways to keep your relationship alive.. whether that may be with sex, with friendship, dates, etc. & its okay to want time for yourself.. everyone wants that from time to time, its normal!
bro. this is my situation exactly. like i was going to make a post about this and i was gonna say everything you just said. i dont know what to do either. every since we have been dating i have lost like most of my friends case i only hangout with her. and all my single friends are partying and shit and i cant cause i got a gf. we have been together 2 years though and yeah i feel the same way you do. i dont want to break up cause she thinks we will be together forever. plus she gets pissed about me smoking but i dont give a fuck.
You shouldn't date her if you're not going to marry her. At least that's what I think. I think guys shouldn't date a girl if he's not ready to marry her. If you're in for sex, then that's just sex. But if you're in for a relationship, you should know that marriage is the last thing that comes.
not only have I lost friends from this, but I moved six hours away from home to live with her. I don't want to hurt her but I just don't know what to do
yeah thats a little worse then my situation because i dont live with her. but yeah idk what to do either. im thinking about trying a break....idk
Nobody will believe me if I say I've always dated with the intention to get married. But it's true. Even when I was in college...
Personally I'd suggest taking some time away from her. Maybe a a week or so, think about planning a vacation just or yourself and maybe a few friends. Just see how you feel after taking some time apart from her.