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Funny story from when I was young, dumb, and first got some weed.

Discussion in 'Apprentice Marijuana Consumption' started by tyorke, Feb 6, 2012.

  1. OK, you guys will have to forgive the super-stoner-paranoia that this story contains. However it was very real to me at the beginning of my smoking career.

    I'd basically never smoked in my LIFE (honest). And I was 21. In college, and I sort of "pretended" like I'd tried it before or whatever, because I was lame and thought that it would make me seem cooler. I actually DID want to try it though, because I'd always been interested in it (and other unmentionables that are consciousness-expanding). So I ask a friend and she's like, oh hey, guess what, my roommate just started selling.

    I was like, wow, this must be a sign. So I'm like, how much do I get. So I go over there and I'm like, yeah, I'll just get like a half. And he's like a half a gram? And I'm like no bro a half an ounce.

    And he looks at me weird (which I now realize why, since he apparently heard I'd never smoked before and thus WTF why was I getting a shit-ton) but is like hmmm...and I'm like "Is it cool do you have that much and stuff?" And he's like oh yeah, haha, we have that much.

    I was like cool man. So I had brought a backpack over to carry the weed home in but I didn't bring a mason jar or anything, and this was some DANK stuff, so it smelled a LOT. But I didn't realize that at the time until it was in my backpack and I was sitting on the bus with the backpack in my lap.

    And I was just riding along on the bus and was like DAMN what's that smell? And this is during the winter so there's heat on the bus which doesn't help to minimize this smell-spreading.

    And then I was like. :eek: IT'S THE WEED :eek:

    So I'm nervously eyeing everyone on the bus, being like "OMG I wonder if he/she/they smell that." I know, probably unwarranted paranoia, but these days I carry a mason jar with me and stash that shit so nothing smells.

    So I get home without any difficulties and then go to hide my stash until I can smoke it that weekend (it's the middle of the week).

    I put that bag in a cardboard box and stuff the box full of drier sheets, then I put that cardboard box inside a tupperware container and bury it in kitty litter and more drier sheets, then I seal the container and put it in the top shelf of the kitchen cupboard.

    I know, right? :D

    But then as the week went on, I'd go to the cupboard and "check" to see if I could smell it, and I SWEAR that I could. Even though it was all mental, I was like "WHAT IF THEY CAN SMELL IT IN THE HALLWAY? :eek: IT'S THE WEED :eek:!"

    Finally I just got SO paranoid about it that I was like, you know what? This was a bad idea. I don't really want to smoke this. I can't get caught with this. It's not worth it.

    So then I resolved :eek: to throw it away.

    But I had to hide it first before I could just throw it in the big dumpster outside, right? Because what if some K-9 dog was just lazing along by the dumpster and alerted on the dumpster and the cop dug through the dumpster and found the trash bag and took it back for fingerprinting and then fingerprinted everyone who lives on my block until they found out whose it was ?!?!?!?1

    Paranoia level: Orange.

    So, I take a half-eaten can of Ragu tomato sauce, remove the ziplock baggie from it's hiding place, and throw that shit into the tomato sauce. Then I stuff a bunch of drier sheets INTO the jar of tomato sauce, seal it up, and then like bag it in 7 or 8 trash bags with layers of drier sheets in between each one.

    Then I take that thing out to the dumpster and I throw it away.

    Then I go back inside and sit down and I'm like *phew* now I have no more guilt about getting caught and don't have to worry.

    But then I'm like.

    The fuck, mang? You just threw away $200 of weed!

    Beers were consumed as I debated with myself. It was then that I realized that I needed to get the weed back. I waited until very early in the morning, perhaps around 2 or 3am, when the majority of people would be asleep.

    Out I go to the dumpster with a hoodie, a flashlight, and a big-ass piece of wood to try to get that thing out of there. (Yes, the fact that THIS was 10x more sketchy than just, you know, smoking weed in one's apartment wasn't really on my mind at the time).

    But the piece of wood, despite its big ass, was NOT able to reach the little plastic handle of the garbage bag, since people had come since then and thrown some stuff on top of it, and I'd purposefully buried it in a corner so that others wouldn't discover it.

    So I was like. ANSDGJLNSFKGLNSDFKGLSNDFG.

    Then I was like...damn it...I'M GOING IN.

    So yeah, I jumped inside the dumpster outside of my apartment at 3am and started rummaging through the trash until I found the bag.

    I hopped out, looked around, and no one seemed to have saw me, so I took the trash bag back inside with me. I recovered the weed once again. I hid the weed once again.

    And that weekend I got high! :hello: And the thought of throwing away even the tiniest amount of weed now makes my skin crawl.

    Also, it cured my paranoia, but for those of you who also suffer, I think there are far easier ways. You know, like, counting to 10. Or breathing slowly.

    Anyway, just thought I'd share with you guys.
     
  2. Ahhh i shudder inwardly thinking about all that waste :(

    Good thing you salvaged it though
     
  3. Hahaha lmao.
    This story seriously cracked me up, thanks for sharing!
     
  4. This story made my morning. Lold hardest at the tomato sauce part.
     

  5. Me too man...as soon as I threw it away I was like. Dude. Chill. Out. It's weed. Be discreet and no one cares.

    Surprisingly after all the abuse I put it through it still had pretty okay flavor and stuff. :D
     
  6. [quote name='"tyorke"']

    Me too man...as soon as I threw it away I was like. Dude. Chill. Out. It's weed. Be discreet and no one cares.

    Surprisingly after all the abuse I put it through it still had pretty okay flavor and stuff. :D[/quote]

    I'm surprised it was even salvagable with the extents you were going to lol.

    Good thing you didn't consider flushing it as a means of disposal. It would have been gone forever!
     
  7. damn dude at least you know how to cover your tracks well lol
     
  8. Two words.. fucking sick haha

    I had a buddy who got paranoid like that and ended up just ditching his sack in the woods. Luckily it wasn't as much as you had, but I was laughing so hard when I found out he did that. To this day I wonder who found that sack haha
     
  9. Hahahaha excellent story :hello: I pictured it all while I was reading

    +rep :smoke:
     
  10. Who exactly were you so afraid of, is there a cop living next door? I hope it's not your parents because if it is then that's pathetic.. it's just weed and why the heck are you at 21 afraid of your parents? They won't turn you in and you're an adult now you can do whatever you want.

    Guess some people really care what their parents think so much that their willing to take unnecessary abuse.. First time I came into possession of an eighth I came home, rolled it up and smoked it like a true American citizen in the privacy, comfort and relaxation of my home, with both my parents at home. All I got from my parents were their opinions on the subject, no force. After that day, we don't talk about it and I blaze whenever I want.

    Why did I do it just like that instead of being scared? Because I was 22 at the time, long past the control of my parents, I'm an adult now and make my own decisions. Man up bro..
     
  11. Some people just care about respecting their parents, you know? That's why most of us hide it from them..... Only people pathetic to me are people who go around saying F- your parents bro you gotta man up don't be scared. Broseph we're not scared of anyone we just don't want to disappoint our parents, no matter what age.
     


  12. Hahaha that's some funny shit OP. I can't stop thinking about how much it would suck to dig through kitty litter every time I wanted to smoke. After you got the weed back, did you still take these extreme measures to stash it? Also, how many damn boxes of dryer sheets were wasted in this story? Lol :smoke:
     
  13. Good thing that dumpster truck didnt empty it before you got it or you would have some serious remorse
     
  14. wow you had some very easy access to a SHIT load of dryer sheets.

    a cardboard box and 7 trash bags full??
    omg
     
  15. [​IMG]
    you crazy OP
     

  16. Nope, haha...that was when I joined grasscity (my first thread was like "How do I hide my stuff :D") and learned that I should just go to Wal-Mart and buy a cookie jar for $1. Problems solved :).

    At least half a box, so like...100. Like 10 sploofs' worth? It was a sad, sad day. I'm a much more responsible stoner now :cool:.

    Oh, and thanks for all the +rep and stuff guys! I had a crappy day and just toked up and logged on and it made my night :D.
     
  17. Tomato sauce...
    xD
     
  18. I had to stop reading after you put then weed into the pasta sauce :(:bolt:
     
  19. Fifth grade, bought probably a gram or two (don't really remember) cause I thought I wanted to try it at the time. Needless to say, I was young and stupid. I ended up flushing it down the toilet cause I was so paranoid my parents would find it and I had no way to smoke it. :( I'm alright with it now though cause literally the next week my parents decided to go through the drawer I hid it in. Didn't go back to it till eighth grade....
     
  20. [quote name='"impossibilitys"']Fifth grade, bought probably a gram or two (don't really remember) cause I thought I wanted to try it at the time. Needless to say, I was young and stupid. I ended up flushing it down the toilet cause I was so paranoid my parents would find it and I had no way to smoke it. :( I'm alright with it now though cause literally the next week my parents decided to go through the drawer I hid it in. Didn't go back to it till eighth grade....[/quote]

    5th grade?! Damn man
     

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