Me, my wife, and our dildo

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by GGrass, Jun 3, 2010.

  1. #1 GGrass, Jun 3, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 3, 2010
    This is a story about me, my wife, and our dildo. It is an attempt to share my experience in dealing with sharing my wife's pussy with a dildo. I see that this is a big problem for many people, and I hope my story will help others in dealing with their own problems.

    ----------------------------

    It wasn't the first time she mentioned something about inviting a dildo to our bed. But it was the first time that she really meant it. And it was the first time that it was even possible to buy a dildo.

    As we live in Thailand, where buying a dildo is 100 times more difficult than buying weed, I never had to worry about those little synthetic dicks, coz where would I buy them anyway?

    But in AMSTERDAM, you can just walk outside your hotel for 5 minutes and you will find an endless selection of dildos, of all shapes and sizes.

    So when she mentioned dildo in Amsterdam, I knew she meant it for real, and I knew there was no backing out this time....

    So what to do? Walk into the dildo shop, and pick the most harmless one...

    The moment I stepped into the shop, I was amazed at the wide selection of dildos on display.

    Long ones. Fat ones. Cute ones. Scary one...

    Plastic ones. Synthetic ones. Bio-Mechanical ones...

    The shop was divided into two sections. One was for dildos, and the other was for porn DVDs.

    My wife walked over to the DVD side and pretended to be looking at it, while I walked over to the dildo side and tried to choose the most appropriate one... it was like inviting a stranger to our bed.

    "Hey, would you like a threesome with me and my wife?"

    And I picked a silvery little bar... no longer than a pen. With adjustable vibrating speed. Water proof, so it can be washed. Hygenic, clean, and most importanly, small.

    As I payed for the new friend over the cashier counter, I saw my wife wander off to the dildo side... and on the corner of my eyes, I saw my wife's jaw drop in front of the display shelve, which was displaying...

    The dreaded rubber dick.

    It was HUGE. It was LONG. It was THICK, and it was BLACK. I mean, pitch black. Man... I've never seen anything so scary in my life.

    But my wife was like,

    OH MY GOD. What a beauty.

    I had to drag her out of the shop and distract her thoughts with other things like smoking more weed and shopping for more souvenirs.

    Once we got back to our hotel... we were high... stoned... and horny... so we got on to having sex... and of course the dildo...

    Having sex while high on weed, with a dildo, is a pretty amazing experience. You get to explore the woman's pussy in details, as you work the dildo up and down, in and out of the pussy.

    And I was amazed at how the pussy can take all of the dildo... I mean, it wasn't that long, but it was still a good length... about 5 inches, perhaps? I mena it disappeared completed into her pussy!

    We had good sex that night.

    But I had a feeling that my selection of dildo wasn't up to my wife's expectation. We never saw that silvery friend again. We gave it to our friend as a souvenir from Amsterdam. We cleaned it thoroughly of course, before we put it back in the box...

    (I hope my friend never reads this. And if you ever read it, I'm so sorry man...)

    ---------

    A few months after our trip to Amsterdam, we took another trip to Hong Kong.

    We had forgotten about dildo since our return, but while walking down the streets of Hong Kong, we saw a dildo shop. And a light bulb came on inside my wife's head, and she told me,

    "Why don't you go and buy one..."

    I mean, my wife is not shy about this kind of shit... I think I'm more shy than she is...

    So she walks over to the clothing shop, and I walk into the dildo shop. And again, I'm faced with difficult choice, of having to choose a dildo to share my wife's pussy with.

    This time, I picked a bit larger one. This one was actually larger than my dick.

    But it was girlish. Violet colored, with crystal studded at the handle. Very pretty, very feminin.

    I mean, the hell I was going to buy the rubber dick... that shit is just ... no no.

    So I bring it back, and that night, we have another go, and again, it disappeared completely into her pussy. And I was like, holy shit....

    I'm sure my wife enjoyed it, but I guess she felt the look on my face was a bit too pitiful. So she never invited our violet friend again to our bed, and it is still in the drawer of our bedroom.

    I don't know if she takes it out when she's alone, but as far as I know, it's just there, collecting dust.

    ------

    Now, what did I learn from these experiences?

    The next time I get a chance to shop at a dildo shop, I'm going to buy the rubber dick. I don't care if it's scary... I don't care if it's longer than mine...

    As long as my wife is happy, I'm happy too.

    ------

    Thanks for reading, and I hope this has helped you in some way.
     

  2. rofl you gave a male friend a dildo from Amsterdam?
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  3. Actually a couple. The dude is my friend and the girl is my wife's friend...
     



  4. U are fucking HILARIOUS!! Who the fuck re-gifts a USED dildo?!?!? Bwahahahahahahahaha thats just WRONG.


    Good shit!! +rep for this one man. I laughed the whole way through. :D


    edit: doh cant give rep. gotta wait...
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  5. If I never told the truth, you would think that the dildo your friend gave you as a present was brand new. :D

    Nah... I'm perhaps the only asshole who does that... :eek:

    ----

    About the rep thingy... I'm just glad you had good laugh. :)
     
  6. Nice story! It was actually my hubby that introduced the dildo to me when we were first dating. I was young and had no clue how to orgasm with a man. Came close so many times and thoroughly enjoyed sex. It actually helped me to learn to chill out, loosen up with time have that nice awesome O without the additional help.

    My latest upgrade is called Mr. Blue.
     
  7. Well... If she ever wants an experience similar to what she would have had with that huge black dildo... Have her give me a call.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  8. Hey! Watch it! It's my wife you're talking about here.

    Just kidding... hehehe...

    You know what? I think I'll actually have a lot of fun with the black rubber dick. Lots of lube, and slide it in... damn... where can I buy one of these...

    Sorry, no need to volunteer. :D
     
  9. The 'bio-mechanical' dick.

    It's like, it wiggles and moves around.

    I think there's a motor, and inside is made of metal joints, and the outside is covered with synthetic rubber. But not too big. May be... 6-7 inches?
     
  10. heres a fun fact: my little brothers girlfriend told me he and her both share a dildo she said he likes her to experiment on em when they get done cuz hes secretly gay but totally likes girls:confused:
    idk i was just like:eek:
     
  11. Great... a dildo with his own name... -___-,

    Becareful you don't scream out his name while having sex with your husby...

    ---

    By the way, let me ask you,

    What is your criteria for choosing a dildo?

    and

    How do you feel about 12 inch black rubber dick?

    :)
     
  12. I know some couples share a dildo... first it goes in her hole... and then it goes in his hole... goes back and forth... I don't know... I think it's just weird...
     

  13. haha yeah a bit strange.. i want to get a dick on a stick for my girl but she says no...
     
  14. Why are you picking it out instead of her? Seems a little backward to me.
     
  15. Hahaha! That would be too funny. Criteria? Adjustable vibration. Mine's a 8 inch blue rubbery one :D...the synthetic are too expensive, the plastic are not fun.
     


  16. (in the dying voice of Julius Ceasar) shreeple... you... too...? x_x ,

    :D

    I think the rubbery ones are girls' favorite.

    But dudes' worst nightmare....
     
  17. There's a toy out there called a 'jackrabbit'...get it for your women, guys. Women, get one. Its similar to what somebody was describing with the motor...but it has a forked tongue area that vibrates and gets your clit...while fucking with the dildo..and its the perfect size-about 6 inches.


    Personally, I wouldnt be able to take a huge dick, it wouldnt feel good to have my uterus tickled...and on top of that...would stretch this beautiful pussy out to 'have vagine like sleeve of wizard'..lol
     
  18. Oh.... is that the one that looks like... hm... what does it look like... an antler's horn? may be?

    It's got the main stem, which is the dildo, and somewhere in the middle, there is a little 'horn' sticking out and it's angled to point at the clit area.

    Hm.... interesting...
     
  19. Lol best thing I've read all day, way too funny!
     
  20. this is the most ridiculous story I've ever read. Funny tho
    Do you still communicate?
     

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