Diary of a pothead-quitting

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by cranberrie, Feb 13, 2016.

  1. So i have decided to take at least. 30 day break from marijuana. My reasoning behind this break is because i have realized at this point in my life it is holding me back more than helping me. I am 22 years old and I have been a daily pot smoker for the past 4 years, every single day almost, maybe a day missed here or there with my main goal when i dont have weed is to get it. I used to think i wasnt addicted to weed until this past year, when if i hadnt been able to smoke when night approached, i would get depressed and that is all i could think abt was finding weed and if i couldnt i was miserable almost depressed. Also recently for almost the past 6 months i have noticed that my interactions with my family and friends have become less...vibrant, and genuine. I also started to hate being around people when i am baked. Also the world is becoming a less vibrant place as well. Those are the main reasons i want to take a break and possibly quit for now. Others being, waking up not feeling rested, not much energy for martial arts which has been a huge part of my life since i was about 12 and i credit martial arts for alot of the good in my life. Running out of breath faster, rushing home to get high all the time, and no motivation to do more w my life and do the things i have always dreamed of. My goal is to be a champion in the ufc and i really believe that quitting weed for now is the biggest step i can take in the right direction for me to take. Ok so all that being said i dont want to write a book, just let you guys know the positive and withdraw effects it is having on me. I am currently on day 5 having finished day 4. To you this may not seem like long but i have tried taking a break here and there many times, almost never making it past day 1 or 2, so to be on day 5 i am extremely happy and i actually almost "relapsed" lol, today but even though i have multiple dealers, i could not obtain weed, which is almost ludicrous...so i took it as a sign that God is helping me towards this obstacle and that is is for the best. If you dont believe i god that is fine, call it what you will but that is what i believe in and i took it as a sign. Ok so here i go

    Day 1: after contemplating my break from weed i thought abt not going through w it, then when i thought abt what it would be like to smoke right then, i was almost disgusted. I knew i shouldnt get any and so i didnt. Around 12 ish when i go to bed usually, and the main time i smoke i really wanted to smoke, but it was too late really to buy any so i said fuck it amd forces myself to sleep. I actally exercised for awhile, then forced myself to sleep. I laid there for abt a good 2 hours before actually falling asleep

    Day 2: was tougher. I was thinking abt weed all day. Most of my breaks had only been for a day, and i like that if i dont smoke for a day, id get really high when i did smoke so that made me really want to smoke. I remember how i felt disgusted when i thought abt smoking the day before, so i knew that i shouldnt. I had a really tough time falling asleep again but pulled it off. Positives were that i felt like i was really done w weed, and i had a feeling of more self worth and self respect. I knew i was doing the right thing to achieve what i want in life.

    Day 3: really wasnt all that bad. I thought abt smoking a few times, but the clarity in my head was feeling amazing and i want more of it. Around 9ish though i really startes to get depressed and sad and i wanted to smoke soooo bad. Soooo bad. I laid in my bed wanting to smoke but i forced myself not to call any of my dealers and just go through w it. I knew it was day 3 and if i could just make it past this day would be a huge accomplishment for me. So i suffered so abt a couple hrs. Them something amazing happened. I started to think of all some of the things i loved doing as i was younger. Like reading, and drawing, things i never had time fore anymore bc i would always be getting high and listening to music, which i still love music and listen to it. So i started to read, i decided that i wanted to read the entire bible, so i started reading, i got abt 5 pages in and stopped there starting to get bored of it lol but im still going to finish it. Even if i read 5 pages a day. After that i started to think what else could occupy my time. I then remembered how much i love art, and loved to draw as a kid. The last time i drew was probably in high school art class which even then i was getting high and didnt really enjoy it all that much. So i got a notebook amd a pen and started drawing. I drew a wolf abt 3 times, howling at the moon. Each time it got easier to draw the fight drawing was really really hard, w almost no imagination and it was hard to do it. Ill post it later of anyone wants to see it. Ok so after all that i was really happy abt w myself. For not smoking and for doing things i havnt done in years, and actually enjoying it alot and forgetting abt smoking. I had a hard time sleeping again so i played video games u til abt 7 am. I went to my gfs house and f**** her good then she went to work and i slept u til abt 2 lol

    Day 4: by far the easiest day
    I hungout w my girlfriends son the rest of the day he got home around 4 and we played football around 6 for abt an hr. Hes 11 and hes really into football and wanting to learn to play so i taught him some basic receiving routes and let him catch the ball and he really enjoyed it and he felt accomplished. I also felt really happy during and after this time. I then tried to teach him how to juke, and i abt broke his ankles him a few times lol. He couldnt really do it correctly yet but i think he gets the idea just not how to execute. I fell asleep w my gf and so sleeping wasnt that tough but i did stay up kinda late due to my midddle of the day sleep/nap. I wacted bates motel until like 5 am then fell asleep.

    Day 5: well i woke up w my girlfriend to take her son to school, i really didnt want to but she started squeezing my thighs and tickling my ribs and not leaving me alone forcing me to get up around 8:30. I was kinda pissed but i wemt w her and was really tired. We ended up getting into a fight and she told me i should go bc i was kinda being, not rude but i was just tired lol. So i left and i was kinda mad at her bc i had to drive back home tired as fuck. I couldnt negotiated and stayed but she likes to test me i think to see if ill do that which i used to always be like i dont wanna go, but now im like naw fck that and i just leave with a quickness. I got home its abt an hr drive so when i got home i slept until like 3 pm. My sleep schedule is fucked haha. The only reason im able to do this is bc i quit my job abt a month ago, and im ahead on my truck and what mot so ive been just being lazy and smoking alot lately. But i need to get my sleep schedule right again ha. Anyways i almost "relapsed "as i mentioned earlier around 8 but couldnt get ahold of any dealer so i took it as a sign, got a beer and a black and mild and chilled at my house. Once i realized that i think it was a sign and i was home i really didnt think abt weed much. Anyways its like 3 am right now and im thinking abt pulling an all nighter and getting my sleep schedule on track again and playing some bo2. I need to bc i start a new job in abt 2 weeks and i hate this sleeping all day up all night shit. Thats it for now guys ill write again before i fall asleep. 😘

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  2. I forgot to mention that today, the world started to feel more vibrant again, and that i am seeing alot cleaner, and realized my vision is alot better than i thought. Im also thinking a lot clearer and i went to the store to get a beer and didnt feel awkward or hate being there really at all. It was awesome.

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  3. Any feedback or questions are welcomed

    Sent from my LGLS660 using Grasscity Forum mobile app
     
  4. Nah it's all good.
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  5. I know it must seem a bit ironic with this being a biased forum obviously, and this post not being necessarily "pro-marijuana", but I just wanted to tell you I'm proud of you. It takes a lot to quit what you love. I too will have to stop before too long. Keep up the work and good luck with your UFC!
     
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  6. good luck man. don't give in. i know its hard but when you over come a habit its the greatest feeling.
     
  7. I'll have a bong for ya! Lol, good luck, I have quit numerous times over the years, I now just smoke at night.


    Sent from a used tampon, launched from Mars...
     
  8. #9 Kushifornia, Feb 14, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2016
    Keep up the good work .. im on a break myself, ive been clean for a month .. let me tell you somethin Op when you get past two weeks you wont have the desire to smoke shit ... i used to think i needed weed to function but hell naw .. life was good as a stoner but life feels great being sober .. i dont plan on smoking shit until my life actually changes i mean everything from jobs to relationships from the place i live to the car i drive ... its all or nothing on my end & once i accomplish the great change then thats when i wanna spark a joint then take a look around & say I Made It Ma!!! Top o' Da World!!!! ....
     
  9. It's me and I'm it. There is no quitting.
    This is it.
    Good for you though.
     
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  10. You could try having more self control and only smoke when the day is done.
     
  11. Im with you OP. Today is the first day in about 5 years i havent started my day with a bowl. I need to be clean for this move to Oregon im planning late this summer. I know bud is legal there, but worthwhile jobs still test and most tests are hair based from what ive read. After i get life set up after the move and get settled in, lock down employment, I may pick it back up.
     
  12. To you guys on break... Posting on a weed forum doesnt act as a trigger? I mean... These pics of these beautiful buds makes me want to smoke.
     
  13. its all about will power.
     
  14. It is... But why put yourself in situations that can only make it harder?
     
  15. Nice job Berrie !

    Haven't smoked weed in about two weeks now and I feel great !
     
  16. #18 El Duderino, Feb 16, 2016
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 16, 2016
    Thats just it efektt! Its only hard if you dont focus on the future rewards. My getting clean will allow me to get a worthy job with retirement plans/benefits. Just gotta keep your eyes on the prize. Never falter. Never break! Remain strong and you shall be rewarded.
    I also just noticed the "Old School" badge of honor by my name... when did that happen?
     
  17. Good luck to all of you.
     
  18. buzz killer man!


    Uhhh..... well, uh, I can't remember the last time I didn't have a buzz. Heck, it's been about 5 years eating oil daily and decades of smoking constantly. Smoking does make me more tired and couch locked. With other negative sides like stinking up the house and higher risk in a car.


    I prefer to eat the oil. You make some ganja oil, you only need one dose per day at the most and you don't get the side effects like when smoking it. At least I don't.


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    At the least I plan to take the oil the rest of my life.


    Good luck to those who choose to quit, but you might want to try oil first.

     

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