When I was 8yrs old, my dad drove me and my brothers and sisters to a children's home called The Nest in Hamilton. Not sure if it's still there or not. But we were pretty much dumped there while he went overseas and found a new woman and my mum also left me in there and went and found herself a new man. For 2 years we lived in this home never knowing if my parents would ever come back for us. I cried myself to sleep every night wondering what it was I had done to be dumped like an animal on the side of the road. The Salvation Army workers told me I use to steal the packaged food from the refridgerator and 'hug' the food all night long, never once opening them. In my head they must have replaced the love I was missing. So strange. When I told my new therapist about that, she said this is the reason why I cannot abandon anyone in my own life today. Is that not the saddest thing? What loving human being could just dump their kids without any explanation? My mum came back for us 2 and a half years after dumping us, although I don't know why she did, she never loved any of us. I would've been better off in the home. I am the way I am because of my parents.
Be grateful for everything you have in life...for good people. opportunities and real love. Don't make assumptions about people's lives until you know the full story...until you can walk in their shoes. Life is not always as it seems.
I did it guys. I left him on Boxing Day morning. Something happened to us on Christmas Day...I cant bring myself to talk about it just yet...but I packed my car and my kids and I left him. I drove 8 hours to Taranaki..and I have already found a house and kids are all enrolled into their new schools. I have done this all by myself without a single cent or helping hand from anybody. I have cried every night...even had thoughts at times of returning to him. But I stayed strong for me and my kids. I stayed strong. Im a survivor of emotional and verbal abuse. I did it guys and I never thought I could get away from him. My heart aches..its not easy leaving a long term relationship like this..he is so angry with me for leaving. I did it. I left.
How do I move on from here? People say to me things like oh life is only going to get better from here on out. Sometimes I don't feel like it is...sometimes I feel sick. I'm scared of living on my own. Im scared of my future. But I am away from him. Finally.
Hey congrats! Thought someone else revived this thread after a year and I was going to make a joke. I realized it was you and now I won't. Well I am happy for you. I know it is hard at times now but hey find someone to watch your kids for a night. Then go to the bar and fine some respectable and kind guy then fuck him no strings attached. This may help with your ties to the past but no promises. Sent from my SM-G900R4 using Tapatalk
Hi Sade...thanks. I wish I could do that but for now my kids are my first and main priority. I will eventually get out and find a job once the kids are settled into school...I'm also going to be a very busy mum come winter time with both my boys rugby. My kids have been through a lot since Christmas Day. They randomly cry and I'm left to pick up the pieces. I will always be there for them. I'm so proud of my sons...they have both stepped up and are doing everything dad would normally do...lawns, rubbish etc. After 21 years...it's hard to believe I'm single again.
This is me. I'm not pretty...I don't have an amazing figure. I'm just me. Suzy. Nice to meet you all.
People need to get out of this "I have to be w/ someone" mind set. You might feel like you need to be w/ someone just make sure your not settling. Feelings and needs are not the same. I raise my 2 sons completly on my own. Got custody away from their mothers years ago. I always maintained a job and I work insane hours and schedules. I still maintain my house. Bills paid food on table. My kids are happy healthy well adjusted well behaved smart young men. My youngest son I gained custody of the day he was born. I made it work because I owe it to him. Ive raised him all alone since day one. The hospital gave her a csection , the legal system handed me my son and permanently removed her from our lives . None of that would of happened if I fealt the need to be w/ someone in a shitty relationship. You can do this. Its not going to be easy but you're a parent so you're strong. Pick yourself up dust yourself off....its all going to work out if you apply yourself and don't sit around on the pity pot. Would you want your kids to grow up to be in a crappy relationship? Or would you rather they take the time to find the right one that they can happily spend their life with? I have a feeling you want them happy over hooked up. No difference for you. Your parents wanted the same thing. Strong people can be in a great relationship but they know they'll be just fine alone too.....be strong Sent from my XT1028 using Grasscity Forum mobile app
Thank you guys. Yes I will be fine. No I don't want to go back to an abusive relationship. Reading back through what I posted in the beginning...I think perhaps I was living and coping in a fantasy world. Another man in my life is not what I want or need at the moment. I just need to focus on the kids, and when they're settled, I will focus on myself for the first time in 21 years. He's ringing me every day wanting me back. He never ever thought I would have the courage to leave him. Well I did..and I'm much happier. I just have to get through this rough patch. Thanks for being there and listening.
I know this post is old but im in the exact situation as op but there are kids involved and a piece of paper that reiterates what he already feels... he owns my ass. This is no good for our children honestly. Ive never cheated although thought of leaving. Ive been w him only since i was 16. My hubs like sex and i do too, a lot but its hard to get hot for someone that treats me like his pet. Do i stay for another 21-22 yrs or what? All I've evr been is a wife n mommy. I only have two small children, the others are teens. Once my youngest goes to school idk what to do. Ive nvr been allowed to live, hes so jealous even a trip to the store alone is out of the question for me. Im a good girl, but sick of being owned and missing out on opportunities. Ive never had a girls night or anything. Im bored. Ive thought about running away with people ive met online... im so unhappy but like OP im fucked
If he isnt treating you the way you think you should be treated and the other guy is available go for it -Sent from Zeta Reticuli starsystem-
It seems like something you two have held on for two long because you obviously love each other but that not true love its torture and its toxic for the self. Both of you deep down inside probably want it to end especially if you are not having sex or adoring each other for 3years? That's extremely long time. We have no rules or boundaries as humans we are here to live, grow, learn, thrive and travel. Don't waste half your life in relationships, marriage and shit like that do what makes your heart dance and brings you your greatest joy. At the end of the day there is no right or wrongs just how well you lived your life and how compassionate, kind and loving you were to every living being. You did the smart move, You were the stronger person out of the two. I am so grateful for my ex being the stronger one because we were caught up in a MAN-MADE mindset that we HAVE to be in a relationship but i always went back to well... We were best friends once.. So why cant we be best friends again maybe thats where we should of drew the line and learned but all is experience anyway and all should be grateful for as we learn from it and grow and become wiser for maybe one day we meet someone that does fill the empty space and both fall in perfectly harmony with each other. There is a old saying that if you can be friends or close with someone for 5-7 years and its still mostly happy/lovey times then its most likely going to be forever that way. The best thing i have found is trying to live together, That is usually the ultimate test for two people to find out if they can grow and thrive in love together. I'm not much of a relationship person, Im more of a free spirit but my ex-was and i learned a lot from the experience as much of torture it was at times i always focus on the GOOD times as they out-weight they bad and the bad are only BLIND times. Nowadays we catch-up every few months or so share our experiences in life and appreciate how much we have grown and learned from the experience we had together. Always be grateful for an experience. - This destroys the Ego. Relationships never die a natural death. They are Murdered by Ego, Attitude and Ignorance.
See that's exactly what he was afraid of you leaving him!! And you are a MILF!!! (Meant as a compliment lol)