Grab my skull dagger and fling the skull stand at him and stab him in the heart or any vital spot while he gets distracted by the flying object.
Now I am currently in a different room. This time if it occurred the best thing I have is this heavy ass electric pencil sharpener. It wont do much, but it's the best I got within a close distance. Actually, I see a fork on the ground that I forgot to clean. So a old dirty metal fork to the face can do justice.
hmm prob my box cutter or my drill (not to turn on but just to throw the whole box naked gun style lol)
Well, if I pivot I can have a knife in my hand, or a 5lb carved stone ash tray. Probably would grab the ash tray, throw it and casually walk across the room and grab a machete or a bat and go check if he still alive.... it's a heavy fucking ashtray...
I'd probably go for the .44 I keep in my dresser. Its not loaded but seeing a dirty hairy hand cannon pointed at your face should be intimidating enough to fend off the odd burglar. I've actually chased someone off my property with my 20ga before.
Isnt the reason hes breaking into YOUR place b/c hes poor and tryign to rob you? so smash the bong against his head, break some windows, make it look like there was a fight before you took him down. Then claim insurance on that shit! along with that 52" inch tv, which the Color Tube was going bad so you kicked that shit in also.
To be honest my initial reaction to some random man opening my door wouldn't be to charge at him with the nearest dangerous-ish object, I would try find out why he's here and try to reason with him.
Got a gerber gaurdian II on my headrest if i for some crazy fucking reason got attacked at night.. and a 870express with 3in federal slugs if i hear him first Someone who knows the laws in my state would be stupid to break in without a gun and a good plan, though.
I just realized im in such a bad position to be attacked im lying back naked on my couch with my feet up. Id probably hit him with a ceramic bowl or if I can reach it a screwdriver.