Your stoned in your room, Someone Breaks In, What do you grab first?

Well... I don't have any weapons, BUT I do have Altoids. Everyone loves Altoids.

 

I'd grab a pen and stab him in the eye

 

I abhor violence...

and I never sleep.

 

Bass Guitar!
I've had fantasies about lumpin' someone up with that sucker since I was 15

 

A hand grenade. Missile, but there aren't many burgulars in Russia.....

 

big ass wrench i keep near my bed for just such an opportunity.

 

Truth: I would shoot him with my 24/7 Pro Taurus 9mm on my nightstand. Not a glock, but target practice helps.

Cool Made Up Story Like Yours: I usually have to shit at some point during the night so assuming we are aware that there'll be an encounter [as you have implicitly suggested] I would take a shit in a bag.

OK THE STORY BEGINS:

I would smear my shit all over his face, and then send him into a coma, keep him hostage till he wakes up, and right as he wakes up hit him with the catch phrase "Just Kidding" and blast him with my 9.

 

Depends on what I am doing. If i am rolling another blunt then the knife that is most likely in my hand. If im chillin in my bed reading, the heavy ass book in my hand. If im playin the xbox 360... I think you know where this is going.

 

Coffee table.

 

I have a rifle under my bed, but I don't keep any ammo near it.

Luckily the robber doesn't know that. And in a grip, I'd smash him in the face with the stock; easily a broken nose.

 

lol i just heard a bunch of shit downstairs .. like literally shit was being knocked over so u already know I was ready

shelf that wasnt on the wall fell over lol

 

OK so lets say he comes through the door, i flying kick him in the face, smash a bottle of vodka over his head and throw a flash bang grenade at him.

I then retreat to my control outpost where i target 2 thermal missile weaponry at his position, once the house is clear i walk into every room for no apparent reason and shout CLEAR.

Then i smoke a joint, put my missiles away and go to bed..

 

I'd break my 2 foot glass bong on his/her head. Probably his.

 

/My katana

 

Im in a dorm so I cant have weapons. Id probably throw a wooden chair at him and get my lacrosse stick and start swinging. Id kick him in the balls afterwords too.

 

I keep a spare chuck Norris under my bed. And mike tyson. Always buys weed from me so I tend to borrow his tiger. Hopefully the robber comes on a tiger day

 

Uh I guess I'd stab them with the mechanical pencil I have sitting on my nightstand.

But if they decided to ever rob me and take everything from my room, no doubt my guitar would be the first thing I'd grab.

 

the blunt sitting in my ashtray take one hit walk up to them and blow a nice hit in their nasal path, share your session!

 

My airsoft shotgun?

Sure it's a toy, but it's heavy.

 

I have a knife next to my bed.
Can't afford home security.