My mom walked in on me masturbating once. If I ever don't want to laugh at something this is the scenario I play through my head. It was terrible.
i remember when i used to go to this 1 church when i was like 14 and my dad told me that he told the church youth leaders that he told them all my secrets( he never told them) and whenever they said something like, "what u been up to", i'd say what do u mean by that? they probably thought i was a sociopath or something XD.
When the depths of your eyes pulls me from feet the summer smell of flowers peeling away from your shapely curvatures my eyes drunk but I only say, "Damn. You look good."
LOL my mom almost caught me choking the chicken in the basement but the room was dark and my jimmy was behind the blanket, leaving me still time to release my stress. Do parents from the 50's generation even know what jerking off is or do they pretend not too?
This one isn't even that bad but I just can't forget it :/ I was super baked and was going to my rival high school football game with some friends. They were already there and i was meeting them. So I parked and starting walking to the stadium and these girls ran into me and were like hey aren't you '*insert my name*' and i was like yeah. Then they're like why are you coming to this game? And I was honestly so baked I had no idea why I was there. I just stared at them for a few seconds and just said "i don't know i can't remember' then they just looked confused and walked off. Idk man. It hurts to think about. Damn you op for bringing back this horrid memory!!!
Another one: One time a while back I was battering the meat stick in my room, and watching porn on my phone, and right when I start to finish, my brother bursts in my room and is like "goodnight! I love you!!!" and I pull up my legs and covers, and while I'm cuming, I say "love you too" then he leaves. Worst whacking session ever.
This was about a month ago. I was going to a friend's party, not too many people, maybe 15-20 were there. I knew most everybody except for a few unknown faces. I was drinking a little beforehand when me and my 2 friends arrive, we're all really close with the guy hosting it. Anyways I walk in and see this guy who looks maybe 18-19 and I go "Whoa dude, you look just like Walt Jr. from Breaking Bad!", turns out he had a mild form of Cerebral Palsy. I felt like a dick, but he was a really cool dude and we've partied a few times since. Nobody called me out on it, it was an honest mistake. Hell me and the dude have even laughed about it.
There's been quite a few instances where someone will ask me "howre you" and I've said "not much" for some reason thinking they said what's up >_< Nother thing that happens to me all the time is when you don't hear someone and you ask them what like 3 times and after the 3rd time you just pretend you heard them and go "yeah haha" and then they usually look at you weird. Hate it when I can't understand someone, especially when their being enthusiastic Anyone ever have those moment where your explaining something and mid sentence for no reason at all you go brain dead and forget what your explaining? Happened to me the other day while explaining to my friend the different components to computers. I was like "so yeah only certain parts are...are um....uh...." pause for a couple seconds "fuck" friend then proceeded to look at me like im crazy. It wasn't till about 10 minutes later my brain decided to shit out the word I was lookin for. Fuck you brain! your makin us look bad
i just had an awward moment today. i was bringing some food to these people. i put it down and they go would you like to pray for you? i was like why you say that? and then they start talking about church and shit and one of the guys said something like do you go to church? but i didnt hear him so i just said yes. then they start asking me how much i go and do i read the bible. note that i never have gone to church and never read the bible so this conversation jus kept going and it was awkward the whole time
When someone starts a conversation and im zoning straight ahead. Then im contemplating if im too high