Your most CLUTCH cover-up

Haha I had a damn funny one a few years back. I was with a buddy and it was my first time ever smoking out of a steam roller and a double bowl pipe. I had just started smoking a few weeks before that too. We got home and my friends mom was asleep. We went down stairs to his basement and smoked a few bowls out his steamroller. His mom came down asking what the smell was and SWIM said shut up and go to bed. She then looked at me and said Jackson! Go the fuck home! Then SWIM just started yelling and telling her to shut up till she finally went back upstairs and we never got in trouble haha xD

 

Yeah dude i think she was just baffled at what he said so she let us be lol.

 

yea its only till you look at it foo that it turns out its got words in it?!!

 

made a thread with the story but prob better here:

back in 2001 i was 19 years old and decided i wanted to go and live in the Netherlands where my friends father had a flower (roses) business that we could work for.

After spending a year learning all about weed whilst working and enjoying holland and really getting into the different strains i decided it was time to take a visit back to my friends in the UK who came to visit me a lot but i hadnt been on my own turf in a good while.

So i booked a ferry ticket from rotterdam to hull for a few days after my decsion to go back.

I went to every cofeeshop i could find and picked up bits and pieces of different strains, in total about 2 ounces which i thought should last me and my friends two weeks. If i remember correctly i had Shiva, Jack Herer, F-17, Ice, Champange Ice, Caramello hash amongst various other. Ok so i get on the ferry at Rotterdam with the 2 ounce tucked under my belt area, not really bulging to my surpirse, my friend had about half of what i did in the same place.

That year there was an outbreak of foot and mouth disease so it meant that dutch customs were checking every bag for fruit and veggies to stop them going into the UK, why im not sure, because i thought the outbreak started there anyway. So as this dutch customs guy is searching our bags, he pulls out a small bag of hash (about 0.5 grams) my face dropped "sorry man, i totally forgot that". Well we got taken to a search area where the customs guy told us he wanted to watch us bin the hash otherwise we get stripped searched !!! ok, so lets bin the hash, i could give a fuk about 0.5 grams when i got 2 ounces in my pants.

He proceeds to check the rest of our stuff, inside the tobacco pouches, empty our trouser pockets - everything except pat us down. He then lets us off with a warning that if we got caught in the Uk we would have been in more trouble. So we get on the ferry and thank our lucky stars for not getting caught and decide to have a blaze on the upper deck. Well after 3/4 joints we both start getting paranoid that maybe dutch customs will inform uk customs and they will search us again there so my friend says we should smoke as much as we can tonight and take a smaller amount into the Uk so if we get caught, its not much trouble. That night we smoked over 1.5 ounces of strong weed, we couldnt even wake up to get off the ferry, the attendants had to almost smash our door down just to wake us up.

Needless to say we got off last, walked straight through customs with all the weed no problems and enjoyed the other 1.5 ounces with our buddies.

Was very nervous.

 

That is the most amazing story I've ever heard. I want to have that high.

 

Can I get a summarized version?

 

Guy moves to Amsterdam to sell flowers. Learns alot about bud. Decides to hit up his hometown in UK. Has 2 ounces in his pants his mate has 1. 0.5g of hash is found in a bag. Made to throw away. Get paranoid on ferry that they're gunna tell UK customs and they'll get done. Smoke 1.5 ounces that night so as to have less in UK. Don't get caught.
Win.

 

haha my mom walked up stairs after i smoked a lot and then she asked me "whats that smell have you been smoking?" I said no i dont smell anything and she just straight up walked away! and never said another word about it

 

Friend and i were standing outside smoking js when this happened. it was like 9 at night, and we were standing outside by the back of his car when his dad walked out of the house and asked what we were doing. my friend turned around(his back was to his dad), and in one totally smooth move put the jay on the bumper of his car as he pulled his phone out of his pocket with his other hand to make it look like he was texting.
Meanwhile, I'm standing there with the j pulled up into my hoodie sleeve with the cherry pretty darn close to my skin. :/ in the end, his dad walked away without noticing anything.

 

somebody please rephrase that big ass blob that we all see.

 

Not about smoking:

We were at this party, pretty sick probably 60-70 people it was outside. It was about a mile or two from my house in the middle of nowhere, outside. Anyway we were there all fucked up and whatnot. And I just got like a bad feeling out of nowhere, and was sketching haha. So i'm rallying my troops cause I wanted to go and they were all getting pissed so I told them "If you don't come right now I'm leaving without you"
Well, we all rendezvoused at my car and left. As we get to a stop sign we see 3 cops getting ready to bust it, and pass another one lol.

 

Me and my friend were driving to sublime with Rome last week with 2 8ths of mushrooms and about 2 grams worth of weed basically I end upneating an 8th of mushrooms and 3 grams of tripped sooooooo hard my friend ate the other 8th ended up pulling me over because he liked my car was stupid as hell not really clutch but....

 

tr;dl or whatever
they buy an eighth, have a bong with them. op guy sits on his board on the floor of the passenger seat. cops come. guy on board hides bong next to the tire of the car (on the inside). cop later searches car. finds nothing.

 

Holy shit did you go to the pow wow festival too? shit was so cash, lit up many a bowl in that crowd

 

I have a good one;

So my senior year of high school me, my friend Sheri and this girl Katie decide to hit up the clubs on a Friday night. We take like and 1/8th of this dank ish and roll some fat ones and smoke them in the clubs. At about 3 we decide to leave and get on Central and cruise down to the freeway. We're starting to come down so we decide to pack another bowl and start hitting it. We're like half way through the second one (hella baked) when we turn a corner and BAM we are like 20 feet from a DUI checkpoint and when I see it my heart just sinks. Then me and Sheri spring into stoner ninja action. I put out the cherried bowl and throw the piece and the lighter in the middle compartment and Sheri turns on the a/c and checks herself in the mirror. We both yell at Katie (she was pretty baked so she had a hard time handling her shit and was all spaced out) to spray something, anything, so she finds some body spray and sprays it around the cabin. The whole time Sheri is inching toward the checkpoint. Usually when this happens we just turn down a side street but this was a no go because it was a major checkpoint and there was only like one car in front of us and 6 cops were staring us down.

Finally we get to the checkpoint and Sheri rolls her window down and the usual exchange happens when the cop asks us about the smell ( it was pretty obious )and like good little stoners we just deny,deny,deny. He's like “girls, it's not my first day on the job I know that smell.” At that moment the three of us catch each other's eyes and we all know the other is thinking the same thing, “we are going to jail.” But we just kept denying it ( well I didn't say anything because I have a problem with authority figures and thought that was probably for the best). I thank mostly Sheri for talking our way out of it somehow and whatever angel was watching over us but two minutes later he let us go… We only had one thing to say after that, FUCK!!!

The moral of this story: when in doubt deny everything!

 

A few years back a few buddies and myself had gotten into hookahs and were doing em for a few week. well my buddy Joe has one of those big garages in his backyard (with carlifts and an apartment type room upstairs) and we all decide to stay there for a weekend. Well Joe and his girlfriend start doing it as me and my buddy Bernie go get the hookah and set it up and chill. We get the hookah and sitting on the stairs setting it up and I start to walk towards the open and joe's dad comes out of nowhere. He starts talking to me asking why Joe isn't answering his phone (Bernie is trying to hide the hookah on the stairs with his body and a hoodie) so i tell his dad that him and his girlfriend are talking and we came down here to chill while they figure it out. He proceeds to try and walk up the stairs and we stop him and Bernie starts talking to him about cars and somehow pulls it off and his dad tells us to tell Joe to turn his phone on and call him when he's done.. Somehow we got away with and pretty much freaked out lol. Fun night.

 

I was riding my dirtbike around and then stopped in the woods and smoked a blunt then rode around some more. I then go inside my house and my mom's like "why are your eyes so red?" so im like "well i was riding around in the woods for so long my eyes are pretty itchy". She bought it because i usually have eye allergies