Your Children, Your Pot,

Discussion in 'Philosophy' started by SuperDoobie, Jan 31, 2001.

  1. Here is a question that I have had for a long time and soon, I will have to address.
    My oldest son is 12, and in Jr. High School in America. I enjoy marijuana, but of course I do not want my 12 year old smokin it.
    The situation is that he will soon "figure out" that his mother and I do get high.
    He is a straight up kinda kid and has eaten up every word of the DARE programs (Government Drug Education) that public school has ever uttered to him.
    The realization that his parents use drugs should be quite a shock to the little surburban school kid. Especially since I have never killed anyone or sold myself on the streets for a fix or anything. LOL!
    Anyway,
    I am not looking for an answer here, there is no one answer, but I want to know if anyone else has ever dealt with this, and would be willing to share the experience.

    Thanks all,

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  2. ah, a very tough situation to be faced with, and one i have never had to face. nevertheless, i will share my thoughts....

    dont keep secrets from your kids. because, one way or another, kids find out. I'm sure you would much rather tell him about it yourself than have him find a bag of weed lying around the house, and find out for himself. You should tell him, but wait until you think he is mature enough to handle it. Explain to him that it really isn't as bad as he has been told. He will trust you, because you are his father.

    However you decide to do this, i hope you choose to finally tell him, because keeping a secret from your kids is risky. and, if he finds out on his own, it could damage your relationship because you kept it from him.

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    Peace

    [​IMG] HighasakitE [​IMG]

    [This message has been edited by highasakite (edited February 01, 2001).]
     
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  3. The tough part is determining when the child is mature enough to understand it.

    A scary reality today is that the schools make the kids feel like they'd be doing mom n dad a HUGE favor by turning them in for smoking pot. Yeah, it'd be doing the family a huge favor to have the children put into foster care. What a bunch of BULLSHIT!

    It's a scary prospect to say the least. You want to be honest with your children, but how often do children get mad at mom and dad? How mature do you think they'll be when they realize that with a few words to a school counselor they could very easily have revenge. Not even realizing that by doing so, the kid will have put his well being in jeopardy. Being removed from a household because mom and dad smoke weed is such a shame, but it happens. It's just not as easy as saying "be honest with your children". I still have not come to a decision as to what to tell my children. Hopefully by the time the "discussion" is necessary, marijuana will finally be legal.


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    Peace [​IMG]
     
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  4. what a perfect opportunity to share my experience as a child of pot smoking parents, and a child who was fresh in the elementary school system when DARE was ripe. my parents have always been open about their smoking habits, and i think that that's where it ought to begin. i wonder why people wait until their children are twelve (i don't mean to attack anyone's decision making). but, seeing the opposition of my situation in my parent's friend's children, who have taken unbelievably dark and twisted paths with drugs, i am grateful of the knowledge my parents have shared with me about pot.

    why are your kids eating up what DARE is teaching them? becuase DARE is there to inform them about marijuana more than parents seem to be.

    best of growing and learning with your children, i only hope to have the same opportunity to be able to have kids one day as well.

    [beth]
     
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  5. Good point Amanita, about hearing both sides of the issue. But then again, we are looking at a program created and controlled by the government.
    In response to phlatbeats comment of being open about smoking, I myself also come from a home where drug use was open and common. No one said anything about it, they just did it it front of everyone. But then, my mother had me selling drugs in Jr. High School to help pay the rent.
    Fortunately, my son is far from that environment.
    Of course you did not mean anything that extreme, but that is just one aspect of honesty and drug use.
    I will be honest with my kids when the day comes that he asks, "Hey Dad, are you guys smoking pot in there?", I will just try not sound like Ward Cleaver when I do it.
    Thank you all for the comments, I hope this string continues as well as it has started.

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  6.  
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  7. of course there are extremes and things that make each case different. i think this war (through peace.. i love that one) about decriminalizing hemp, marijuana, can take place in present youth. these are the children born into the toxic wasteland the world has created. if all this plastic, polution, and DAREing has numbed the human race down to a grueling convenience and controled race, why not instill the idea that there are other ways and options of seeing things.

    i think the knowledge of marijuana, held firmly by positive broader ideas like ecological, medicinal, etc etc effects can perhaps give children a brand new way of thinking.

    we are all conditioned human beings. if we want change, all we have to do is recondition =]

    [beth]
     
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  8. All I can add on a positive note here is that this is a concept well worth all the exposure it can get.! I've been struggling with it for many years through two wives and 5 children.Involving my children in my activities while they were evolving was never an option.When they started becoming exposed to DARE "they got informed"and My information far exceeded that of the DARE program.My teachings on ethics,morals,personal beliefs,etc..continued in their usual manner...Each child was different,and each has chosen his/her own way.(except for the little one.!She still thinks it's cute to mess with Daddys' mind .!Sure I look at them and wonder what they might have become under a different influence.But that's my guilt ;)and it fades the more I come to accept the things that i can't change.
     
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  9. #9 Masonsmokes, Feb 1, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 1, 2011
    The advice given from everyone is very well put. I just have one thing to mention.

    "ofcourse I don't want him smokin pot."

    Let me tell you now, that he will try it, and he will like it.

    DON'T let him make the mistake of being stupid and doing it with a friend behind the old junk yard and get busted... From personal experience, its going to happen.
    The little fella will hit high school and hear the weekend stories, and get slightly curious, he will make his friends and make it possible. So make sure you monitor that, let him know he could try it. Dont plan for this, but if he wants to smoke, let him, in exchange for his grades staying above B's. Then explain to him the altitude of the situation about you condoning him smoking pot, so he straight up knows he's not to say something that could and will be taken lightly or toss around in school, and the cops knock on your front door.

    Just be smart, open, and discreet

    EDIT: and HELLO Austinite. Talk about a weather change right? 80 to 30 in one day. Geez.
     
  10. I was in a similiar situation as your kid, and from that perspective Id have to say I think you should have a talk with your kid and tell him your views on cannabis before he gets into high school. It may sound silly now but when I was 14 and I found out it fucked up my ideas of right and wrong and I didnt really know who I should listen to and it destroyed my parents credibility for a big chunk of my high school life.

    The initial talk might get awkward but I bet itd be worth it.
     
  11. this thread is almost 10 years old >.> her son is a grown ass man now
     

  12. Their kid is now 22 and addicted to cokemethheroine.
     
  13. This is an old thread but always relevant. My oldest is 14 but spec ed and very innocent; the next is 12 and she did once catch me smoking, back when I still smoked joints, (now only vape, much stealthier, though they have asked what is that thing -- volcano -- if I leave it out) she was horrified (age 8) She was thinkingit was cigarettes, a true evil as far as we're concerned, I said is was not that but was vague about what it was....I doubt she forgot it but she's never mentioned it. My husband and I always make fun of DARE and what the schools teach about marijuana (he's a doctor, I'm a nurse) and tell them that it is a mild intoxicant, better than alcohol, infinitely better than evil tobacco... we have certainly imbibed in our day (no one in my home including DH is aware that I imbibe all the time, this is still "my day"). We hope they'll wait until a reasonable age and be responsible, and we think the drug laws are terrible. That's drug education in this house. I assume that they may gradually become aware of my usage, as they get familiar with the herb themselves.
     
  14. 12 is too young, 14 maybe...15 yes, 16 for sure:smoke:
     
  15. It would be fucking crazy if he came back to tell us how he told him and his reaction, and how he turned out and everything.
     
  16. Wow.........
    I didn't even notice, you guys dug up a real corpse here!!
    This like around the time GC opened I think.
     
  17. There have been a TON of zombie threads lately. I think it has to do with an update in the GC Android app that shuffled everything around.
    Good thread anyway. I think about my kids and how they will find out about my little secret. I encourage all the parents that I speak with to be honest with their kids (assuming the kids can handle it), ask kids to wait as long as possible before using any drugs, but also explain that if they are going to do them they need to understand the risks (health and legal) and be smart about it.
    "Don't do drugs, but if you do, here are some things to be careful of." is the only realistic approach.
     
  18. Would love to know what ended up happening

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  19. I'd also be interested to know what happened im pretty glad I didn't notice the date until pawlywogs post, really made me laugh when I realised. I really wish I had parents like that! Still love my parents though regardless of what they think!

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