I am really in a rut guys. I have been really out of it, I feel like I have no control over my own life anymore. 3 months ago, I was admitted into a mental hospital. I was forced to stay in the depression and substance abuse wing for 4 days against my will. Long story short, I was dumped by the girl I thought I was goin to marry for another guy and was contemplating suicide. I am still in the process of letting her free of my mind, but I do not expect to be with her for the near future. Basically, I did some really stupid shit and got a class a misdemeanor, among other charges, and I feel like I have lost the respect of everyone I cared about. I am jobless and have a less than 200 liquid cash to my name. I am not a student, every friend I had while I was dating this girl move to the city for school, and I am stuck here feeling like a helpless loser. I live at my parents house and I am so beyond miserable. I spend pretty much all my time either vegetating or playing this game on my little brother's laptop when he is off of it. My mom is fed up-we have not been on speaking terms for the past week. My dad has never supported anything I have ever done-he makes me feel so much lower everytime I talk to him, so i tend to stay in my room alot. I don't speak during family dinners. I am stressed the fuck out living here; I tried telling my parents that I am not in a good place and have not been since my mother put me in the hospital, but the reaction I got was basically my dad screaming at me saying he works 10 hour days 5 days a week and he feels sorry for himself for having to support a scum like me. Really? It's not like I steal from them or anything, its not like I eat all the food in the house, I am 6'4 and 150 lbs for fucks sake. I am just fed up with my life and have been looking on craigslist for a ride to the west coast from chicago. That is pretty much the only thing I have to live for right now-gaining independence for myself and moving to co. or ca. I dont have friends or anyone to hold me back to stay here, hell I dont even text anyone on my iphone. But what happens when I get there, if I get there? What if I am not able to support myself because I can't find a job? What if I am just as unhappy there as I am living at home under constant guard of my parents? I am so deep in my cave I can't see the light anymore. I just want to feel something other than utter disgust. I want to connect with someone again. I don't want to feel helpless anymore. /rant
im sorry to hear that man, we have all been in situations like that before, my advice to you is that you put up with your parents for a while and this may sound a bit odd but work your ass of save up as much money as you can only spend money on stuff you really need, and as soon as you save up a good few grand get out of there, im sorry to hear about your girlfriend too i too have had something like that happen to me where you are in love with someone and they just leave you when you least expect it, but im pretty sure that one day you are gonna find someone who makes it worth waiting. focus on yourself for now, just because stuff didint go so well this time it doesnt mean things wont be better the second timeif things have gotten to the worst now it means that they can only get better likje i said worry about yourself firt than anything and if you need to move out of state to do so then go for it, i wish you the best of luck bro
You just gotta hold it together man, no matter how hard it gets. Life has its ups and downs. No matter how bad things may seem right now just know that life is worth living. Focus on yourself man, it sounds to me as if you're the only person you've really got to rely on. If you don't have good regard and well being towards yourself, how are other people supposed to? One suggestion I have for you is to start working out. Doesn't have to be anything too strenuous, just some pushups and crunches and the like to get started. Running is quite beneficial as well. There are plenty of iPhone apps you could download as well to help you out. If you can start doing this on a regular basis you'll start to feel a lot better about yourself. Endorphins are a wondrous neurotransmitter believe you me. I'd definitely recommend you find a job and to do what you can to get yourself out of your current living situation. You're family only seems to be holding you back, not attempting to help you or understand you unique situation and point of view. Only you hold the power within yourself to break out of this rut. It's all about them baby steps honestly. You try and do to much at once you'll only freak yourself out and withdraw from progress and a healthy way of life. Set small goals for yourself and try and achieve them. Even if they're just little things you'll begin to feel better about yourself and to regain some self confidence. Remember to stay positive though man. Look on the bright side; you've got your health and a roof over your head. That's a lot more than a good number of people have. I used to be stuck in the way of negative and pessimistic thought processes. Doesn't help anyone to look at things like that. It's only going to hold you back in the end. The more you can subtly shift your thoughts to a more positive light, the better you'll feel about everything. All though it may not seem like it, there are people out there that care about you. I don't even know you and I care. I can relate to what you're going through and I hate to see other people lost and suffering on their path's in life. I can see you're a quality human being and that you deserve much more out of life than what you're getting. Put in the time and effort to improve yourself and it'll happen. I believe in you
Sometimes life's just a bit fucked, that's just the way it is. By the sounds of things you really aren't enjoying yourself confined to their house and assuming you are over 18 just go backpacking man. I'm sure if you are willing to work you will be able to sort something out.
You'll feel helpless till you're in the situation ... Some real life situations tend to do that to your mental state and you just can't help it ... We've all been there bro and we've come out much better ... So will you ... You already know that you need to get outta an environment that is toxic to you as a human and as an individual ... I'll tell you this though ... Don't think of the future in the negative, it hasn't even happened yet ... Keep hope alive in that future where you see yourself living freer ... Cause that will happen and soon ... Once you're out, your mind will automatically release all the build ups that happened ... The change you want in your life bro, you gotta bust your ass to see it ... We can't be physically there with you changing your life's course so, you gotta do it and know a whole community full of warm hearted stoners from the world over are rooting for you n send you their love
Don't mean to be that guy to 'one up' you but I was in a psychiatric ward for 2 weeks. It gets better man. Look on the bright side, you're fucking 6'4. Fill out your body and you'll be reeling in girls. First thing's first though, get a job. Baby steps, man, do one at a time, focusing your entire effort on that thing until it's in a place you think it'll self-maintain. Before you know it people will be commenting on how much you've changed.