Wrote this while high.

Discussion in 'The Artist's Corner' started by TaylorMcKilla, May 14, 2010.

  1. So I wrote this while high last night. What do you think? Pretty juvenile I know, but I thought it was okay.

    I try not to think about you while I'm in bed,
    But girl I just can't get you out of my head.
    I sit there with a dopy look on my face.
    Your grace is as beautiful as God's embrace.
    Please believe me when I say-
    Everything is going to be okay.
    Nothing has changed since yesterday.
    The world hasn't ended.
    I didn't die.
    Your smiling face in my head is all I need to get by.
    Mary... you're mine.
    You're the only one for me.
    You're the only girl that lets me be;
    Creative and goofy,
    Notoriously me.

    I also had a ton of realizations about life and music. "Mary Jane's Last Dance" is about trying to quit weed and I never knew it! "Who could it be now?" Is about the paranoia you get when you're high.. and is actually quite scary to listen to when high and "Yesterday" by The Beatles is, imo, about losing the high you had from the day before and realizing you aren't going to be how you are when you're high the next day.
  2. I think it's pretty good. The rhyme scheme followed very nicely, and the overall idea was pretty nice. Keep writing man... you got a knack. :p
  3. i liked it personally.
  4. could be the next usher song
  5. Not bad,not bad at all :hello:
  6. Pretty good poetry. Probably belongs in another section of the forum but it shows talent.
  7. I like it man, you stuck to the rhyme scheme without sounding forced, good poem brah:smoking:

    I never really had the poetry knack, more of a writer in the traditional sense.

  8. Aww, man. My bad. I found you guys last night and I made an account just to post that. I'll be sure to look around and post things in the right forum next time. :D
  9. Man, that brought a tear to my eye.
  10. Pretty nice writing bro. Never been much of a creative writer myself, more the analytical type.

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