Strolling through life like I'm immortal. Wasting each day like I have an infinite amount. Always putting it off, like I'll have the rest eternity to do it. I've falling into an abyss of monotony so deep, and so big in diameter, that if I don't look close enough, I just confuse it as a static, infinite plain. I get so caught up in this repetitive procrastination that I forget to live my life before my time runs out. I'm sitting here waiting for something that has already happened. I'm so filled with doubt and self pity that I refuse to move forward. I refuse to break through. We had our time, but I can't face the fact that it's done. Gone. Never to return. She was the girl that I met way too early in my life. But she's the wall, and I have no intention or desire to climb over the top and see the rest of my life. 23 and already given up hope. How the fuck did I get here? How the fuck do I move on? Where's my fucking courage? Courage. The basis of every dream. It's the foundation of it all. It's what you slam the ladder down on. It's the solid, strong stage capable of supporting all the bullshit life throws at you. Maybe that's why it's so difficult to obtain. Without that foundation, I'm just floating along, waiting... Too terrified to move. Speaking in metaphors and riddles makes it seem easy. It makes it all feel like some dark fantasy video game world that I've grown so accustomed to. But it isn't. It's filled with fake smiles and forced conversations of mind numbing small talk with people I couldn't give two shits about. Asking questions that I already know the answers to just for the sake of avoiding those dreadful silences that no one anywhere seems to be comfortable with. I can't force myself into it. There must be another way. The content above helps me in more ways than I can currently comprehend. It's a way of self expression and self reflection. I've wanted many things in my life, but I have only been sure of a few. I feel it down to my bones when I write. Something about it beckons me. It's that beacon of light far off in the distance of this strange, dark and hopeless abyss. All I need is the courage to strive onward. Something I can stand on to help me push back when the darkness tries to swallow me. Edit: I forgot to explain the purpose of this thread. There really isn't one that I can think of. Maybe someone can relate to this. I don't know. Maybe I just want feedback. Constructive criticism?
I dig it brother, know that feeling. Only advice I've got is to move in a direction, any direction and figure it out as you're going..."an object in motion tends to stay in motion, while an object at rest" tends to destroy itself with self doubt and fantasies of worthlessness...good luck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VowdniQeSg4 He always liked to paint with his sunglasses on Cause acrylics tend to burn on his eyes And nothing brought him closer to the canvas Than the warmth of Eleanor's thighs He never had much of a devious nature But was hardly a modern day saint If you asked the little boy what he'd be when he grew up Said I'd rather be a fireman than paint Keep on painting She always liked to dance with no shoes on Cause the gravel felt good on her toes And Mr. Merriweather left his wife and his kids In search of a polka dot rose They never thought much of his mongrelesque stature Or the scent that could make a buzzard faint If you asked the little boy what he'd be when he grew up He'd say Keep on painting
i am in no way a grammar nazi, however, about that wall o text joking aside, it makes it difficult for readers such as myself to take you seriously if you leave posts like the one you did here. it is a bit messy with some misspelling. i am in no way trying to insult you. it is just that i like to read what everyone has to say. it takes a lot of courage to even put your ass on the line like that. leaving it all hanging out, for the world to see. so please don't be to offended because i relate on so many levels to what you wrote here. i am just recommending you give it a pleasing look to the eye is all. what i recommend is this ....... "Strolling through life like I'm immortal. Wasting each day like I have an infinite amount. Always putting it off, like I'll have the rest of eternity to do it. I've falling into an abyss of monotony so deep, and so big in diameter, that if I don't look close enough, I just confuse it as a static, infinitely plain. I get so caught up in this repetitive procrastination that I forget to live my life before my time runs out. I'm sitting here waiting for something that has already happened. I'm so filled with doubt and self pity that I refuse to move forward. I refuse to break through." "We had our time, but I can't face the fact that it's done. Gone. Never to return. She was the girl that I met way too early in my life. But she's the wall, and I have no intention or desire to climb over the top and see the rest of my life. 23 and already given up hope. How the fuck did I get here? How the fuck do I move on? Where's my fucking courage?" "Courage. The basis of every dream. It's the foundation of it all. It's what you slam the ladder down on. It's the solid, strong stage capable of supporting all the bullshit life throws at you. Maybe that's why it's so difficult to obtain. Without that foundation, I'm just floating along, waiting... Too terrified to move." "Speaking in metaphors and riddles makes it seem easy. It makes it all feel like some dark fantasy video game world that I've grown so accustomed to. But it isn't. It's filled with fake smiles and forced conversations of mind numbing small talk with people I couldn't give two shits about. Asking questions that I already know the answers to just for the sake of avoiding those dreadful silences that no one anywhere seems to be comfortable with. I can't force myself into it. There must be another way." "The content above helps me in more ways than I can currently comprehend. It's a way of self expression and self reflection. I've wanted many things in my life, but I have only been sure of a few. I feel it down to my bones when I write. Something about it beckons me. It's that beacon of light far off in the distance of this strange, dark and hopeless abyss. All I need is the courage to strive onward. Something I can stand on to help me push back when the darkness tries to swallow me." Edit: I forgot to explain the purpose of this thread. There really isn't one that I can think of. Maybe someone can relate to this. I don't know. Maybe I just want feedback. Constructive criticism?" - HighlyHumble i can actually feel your pain and anguish. there is deep and hidden beauty here if one looks for it. you need to keep this kind of writing up my friend! really good stuff!
That means a lot to me. I never did pay attention in english classes, so my spelling, punctuation and paragraph formation isn't as good as it could be. Nor did I use spell check(wrote it on wordpad). Your reaction is exactly what I was hoping for. I want people to read this and feel my pain. That, to me, is what writing is all about, and it's why I'm so in love with it.
i wish i would have put my pain, anguish and feelings on paper when i was younger. it would have saved me a lot of trouble.