Writing a Dystopian-esque Novel

CannabisInCanada · Oct 17, 2007

I'd love some criticism, thoughts, opinions, whatever. Thanks for your time.

The amendments start at 2 now. It’s always been progressive and systematic. Art was found to be too motivating, too likely to cause too much potential for an uprising, that’s what they said – they couldn’t stand second opinions, since, of course, it was for our safety. They banned it, slowly. Music citing any sort of illegal activities was the first thing. Suggested and targeted, first by the DEA, about songs that contained any pro-marijuana advocacy and spearheaded by the newly formed PDNA. Any junkie would love to be busted by the DEA if his ultimatum was to be caught by these guys. Any opinions that weren’t congruent with theirs were ridiculed, first socially, and then enforced through the long arm of the law. Record companies were threatened with investigations and fines, although I’m sure it was all for show. They’re all owned by the same people. The media is dangerous when it’s only black or white.

Kids who realized what was going on, they were the worst off. The youth of that generation didn’t understand, they weren’t actively participating, the ones that were, deemed mentally unstable; conspiracy nuts. Spoon fed uppers, implanted with ideas from government appointed councilors, their minds were stilled. Schools controlled the thoughts of our next generation. The government and corporations controlled the schools. The media controlled the trends. The government and corporations controlled the media. The government and corporations controlled the kids, whether the kids knew it or wouldn’t believe it.

Parents for a Decent North America; an international morally right fundamentalist movement – it seemed like they sprouted up over the course of a week. Suddenly, they were everywhere. Telling us what’s right, actively, forcefully. They were as picture perfect as the American Dream. Men in monochromatic suits with women standing behind their right shoulders – the children were never present, however. They started with issues that the majority of the population would agree with. Drugs in school, drugs in media – the already conditioned public abided blindly to the headlines, they voted, they felt like they had a choice. Symbolism works wonders – what’s your drug of choice?

They did an amazing job of nullifying resistance. The hippy with the head shop was seen as a liability to the community. Tell me, would you feel safe living next to him? His theories and thoughts, deemed crazy, deemed delusional, brought on by excessive drug use, none of it made sense. It didn’t matter anyway, who would listen? People had been taught to ignore the extremes. They listened, by not listening when the man explained that the trails you see floating behind airplanes were a subtle form of toxic brainwash, no one listened, and he was crazy – Fucking Crazy!

Everything played out just like they planned. It’s always been progressive and systematic. One thing I learned and will continue to learn - you can’t trust anything or anyone.
Click to expand...

Just a prelude for now.
Would you be interested in continuing reading this?

If so, let me know, I'll post more when I'm done.
If not, tell me why/how I could improve it.

Again, thanks for your time.

FeelinMyself420 · Oct 18, 2007

It seems interesting at that point but it seems like I've read something really similiar before even though I havn't.

Patchy · Sep 19, 2011

utter shite dude

nah aha, sounds interesting.i love dystopian literature. probs finished by now anyway aha

White Indian · Sep 19, 2011

The writing is pretty good but the whole thing comes off as way too didactic, like you have very serious and personal bones to pick at. I suggest focusing more on plot and character and let your themes surface naturally through how you let everything play out.

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Writing a Dystopian-esque Novel

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CannabisInCanada Toronto - Musician

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White Indian Vagrant

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