Women who call me "Dude"

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by CAPITAL CROOK, Aug 30, 2019.

  1. Exiting the bank, I have a ways to go before I reach the parking lot; a slight inconvenience. Inconvenienced, I walk towards the parking lot, being stopped by a middle-aged (30-40), very decent looking woman who says to me "Hey Dude..."

    Like... Hey, are we gonna fist bump, pound some brews back and watch sports in 2 week old underwear? No? Don't fuckin call me "Dude" then.

    Like... What if I just walked up to a woman and go "Hey Bitch..." Its disrespectful as fuck.

    Women, I'm not the "Dude", and please quit referring to men as "Dudes" its the same thing as us calling you "Bitch".

    So, as calmly as possible, I say "Miss, Please don't call me Dude"

    "OH, SORRY... DUDE!!" Like are you fucking kidding me? What are you, 12?

    So, there I go, walking down the street, followed by this woman on her tirades of whatever "DUDE" sentences she can come up with... I don't even know what she wanted and I don't care...

    If you are a bomb shell 10, dressed to the 10's, and you look at me and say "Hey Dude" I don't give a fuck if your gonna blow me for the rest of my life, fuckin c'ya later!

    Am I just a fuckin' lunatic here? Like, could you imagine if I followed this woman down the street on a "Bitch" tirade?
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  2. I don’t think “bitch” and “dude” are exactly analogous. If she had called you “bastard” or “asshole,” you might have a point.

    Also, if 30-40 is “middle-aged,” just shoot me. Please.
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  3. I think I could let it slide in that case...

    question: if you did meet another good looking lady who called you dude right off the bat, but she was actually down to do stuff like fist bump and drink beers in her dirty underwear with you, would that make it okay for her to call you "dude"? like if she was really about that life?
    or could you still not get past it?
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  4. I wouldn't represent myself in that way to begin with, so no.
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  5. I feel its definitely similar in the aspect of being disrespectful; the actual meanings of the words or their implications, obviously not, but how it is used, as a title to address me.
  6. Chilax, dude.
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  7. I like to think of myself as at least somewhat normal.
    From my perspective...being offended or even remotely put off by someone saying "dude" to you...is...a troublesome reminder that we live in a time, where it seems that to be personally incensed by the inconsequential is commonplace.
    This isn't the 1920's where you'd be considered impolite not to tip your hat at every passerby.
    I mean, I'll be honest...I feel like saying to you "Please don't be another one of these fucking guys...this isn't facebook" because this is the kind of nonsense I see going on there.
    I don't want to disrespect you, but I want to be honest with you all the same...if that damns your views of me, so be it - but yknow, speaking my truth and all that, and it's not to hurt you.

    Bitch implies disrespect. "Dick" would be a more solid comparison.

    Dude (unless you live on a farm) is something I've only ever seen to have been culturally adopted as a positive term of endearment, and/or a casual term like "bud, man, pal".
    I'm gonna assume you're not one of these guys who goes into a diner and expects to be called "Sir" as part of their experience...so I have to say I'm personally wondering why such a thing as a casual and friendly term has at very least annoyed you...but hey, look...if that's how you're gonna be, then...that's just how you are built.
    If you don't feel like this limits your life experience among humans, for yourself, then cool - because you're the only one in control of your perceptions, and how you think you ought to feel about things, dude.
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  8. But see, somebody calling me Dude online is fine, because you don't see how I am representing myself and that line is crossed, when you see that representation.

    I don't use Facebook at all, but if a woman calls me a dude on a dating app, yeah, I definitely have a problem with that and although I am not going to get angry or anything, I am going to go through the effort of correcting the person and why I feel that way.

    The whole idea of "Not being that guy" is a construct we need to get rid of... If I want to have a voice on the way I feel, I should have one, regardless of whatever guy I am being.
  9. I agree - and in no way will I ever stop you from saying what you feel you ought to about things, feel the way you're gonna feel...I just, me? I don't get it. That's why we do the whole "you do you" bit. I just guess if I called you dude in person, not that it's a term I use much ( "man" all the time for me)...I would be kind of confused if it was taken negatively.
    Oh, and no I wasn't entirely trying to call you one of "those" facebook people...they're a whole other breed that thrives on drama in every interaction. I can see that's not you, but sadly, I have to be honest and say I'd have a similar reaction if I encountered you and was on the other side of that situation

    You seem like a decent guy though, so...yeah, no dramas on my end.
  10. There is no drama to be had here, you represent your views and are free to do so.

    This is where the major intricacy lies, is in the fact that I don't really care if a man calls me a dude, because a man is not a potential partner for me; I have nothing to gain romantically from a man and thus, I can be more free with how I am approached by a man, where as a woman, especially one that I feel could be a romantic partner, I cannot allow that woman to be calling me a dude. If she wants to refer to me as a dude to her friends, go ahead, I could care less, but the address of dude in a personal interaction, it cannot be happening.
  11. I'm glad we're good.

    I just thought, on their side they're doing it to imply a lack of availability?
    Like I have this one chick I deal with occasionally. We have a friendly enough relationship, we're cool...but every time we meet, she drops "buddy" in here and there - I've always felt like she does it to keep things like deliberately casual or some such...even though we both know the other is married. I always felt like it may just be her habitual interaction with males.
    It might not be, but it could be, a signal. It might not even be intentional.
    Though strangely I have noticed over the last few months it's kind of graduated to "my lovely"
    (lol sounds less witch-like when she's this tiny little Irish chick)
    But yeah...it's something I've noticed and it's always been on the back of my mind...this brings up that it may be a case of like...throwing up a roadblock before things could proceed?

    I get your perspective too, though...I just figured if we look at it from all sides, there just might be things in play that are on their end.
  12. I think something that a lot of men need to understand is that... Doing nothing, is as much of a choice as doing something. If you believe you are receiving a signal of any kind and you do nothing to interrupt that signal, the only conclusion is that you are fine with receiving that signal.

    Terms of endearment are great and all, however, people receive them differently; if you were a single man, you would probably receive the signal of "My lovely" a bit differently than your current circumstance.

    If I was married, maybe I wouldn't care if my wife called me "Dude", and yeah, it is a term of endearment, but not an acceptable title.
  13. '
    DAMN homie....your life must be STRESSFUL if something that minuscule gets you worked up like that.......smoke a J piece and chill............
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  14. Eh, you mean you are too good looking and civilized to be called dude IRL?

    This is the first time I hear that Dude is something else than just a friendly way to address someone.
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    I think there are certain elements of respect and generational differences that should be observed, so I think you have a sliver of a point. I would never call a woman 'dude', or an elderly gentleman I didn't know 'dude', or someone in a position acquired by merit that I look up to. I wouldn't call my professor back in uni or the black belt at my academy 'dude', either, because I don't put myself on par with them, because in the context we are in, they have achieved far more than me by way of merit.

    I don't agree with you on someone in the parking lot, though. I think that sounds friendly.
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  16. As I wrote in my post previous to yours, the title of Dude isn't something I am willing to be represented by and by extension, addressed with. I am not willing to go as far as to give you the "Call me sir", because I don't feel like I need to be called "Sir" in the way same I don't feel like I need to be called "Dude"... You've never heard somebody be called "Sir", followed by that person addressed correcting them to their name? I feel its the same thing, its personable.
  17. I'm not required to be friendly and if I had choice between feeling respect and feeling friendly, I choose respect every time... I can be friendly, I know I can, but if I do not set my boundaries for how I want to be respected immediately, then I might not get that respect. Particularly, from a woman of interest.
  18. Face to face, outside of a friend, I've only been addressed as 'dude' once... I remember.
    I stopped in my tracks, turned around slowly and asked; "Did you just call me dude?"
    The young man responded; "No, Sir."

    On-line... it happens all the time.
    I have to let it go.
    On the other hand, someone on this forum addressed me as 'boomer'.
    I took exception to that.
    Go figure.

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