woman changed gears on me, stoned=no sex

Uh, not if you love the woman you're with?

Have you asked her why she thinks you can't have real feelings for her while you're stoned? Is there a reason why you can't bang her while you're sober?

I mean, is there a reason your woman not wanting to have sex while high is driving you to someone else?

 

Why would you just bang another chick? Can you really not have sex with your own wife sober? That has to say something about your character if not.

I've been in a phase were I don't like to have sex while I'm high but that's slowly changing. Maybe she's just having a phase about it and it'll pass, until then just wait till after sex to blaze.

 

Not wanting to have sex with your lover is a perfect and time-tested method of driving them to someone else.

She shouldn't expect him to change (especially after 20 years); she needs to get over herself.

Unfortunately, cfo, I think it falls on you to help her get over herself. She is probably looking for some romantic gesture from you to show her that the flame is still there, you still love her, etc. Don't forget, women are needy. They constantly need to be reminded how wonderful they are, etc. etc. Make her feel pretty, don't make it feel like you are in your same "Smoke, sex, food, sleep" routine or anything.

PS - If you figure out a good romantic gesture, make sure you're high when you do it

I seriously can't believe that a couple of you are telling this guy to bend over and stop doing what he likes to do just because his woman changed her mind.

You shouldn't have to change for someone if they love you.

 

reminds me of annie hall...

 

Well my girlfriend loves me but I use to get shit faced drunk everyday.....I changed because she wanted me to, should I not have? A relationship is a two way street. It's a give and take. Do you honestly believe a relationship would work if nobody changed in them? Not at all, that's exactly how they work unless you just have the other person run over.

 

He didn't say she wouldn't have sex, just that she wouldn't have sex STONED. What the fuck is wrong with sober sex? Just bang her and then spark up. Win, win.

But he does need to talk to her because I suspect there's something else going on here. Maybe she feels like you don't care about her or are only affectionate when high...

 

The problem is that he likes sex high. Why does he have to give up something he likes, just because she has some personal issues going on? The proper approach is to help deal with whatever is going on, not just for him to avoid anything she decides she doesn't like.

There is nothing wrong with sober sex. There is nothing wrong with stoned sex

 

I totally agree, but she obviously thinks there's something wrong with it and he needs to communicate with her about it.

However, it's not like he's not getting laid.

 

True. Maybe this hits me close to home because toking is a huge part of who I am; I wouldn't be the same person without it. If my girlfriend asked the same thing of me, she would effectively be saying she doesn't love the person I am.

 

I know this is probably going to piss somebody off but you can't be happy sober? I mean I'm not against it at all but if it's to the point where you HAVE to do it then it almost seems like a problem and more so a priority. In my eyes loved ones and employment come way before that.

Now if they wanted you to quit all together I could see where you are coming from but if it's only not to be high during sex....it would be pathetic if you cheated on your loved one because of that you know?

 

Why throw away 20 year's of your life because you can't have sex stoned?

I would attempt to be "Stealth High" Before i went out and banged another chick.

And for the record, i attempt to be "Stealth High" errr day, i dont know what relevance that carries, just thought i'd kind of throw it out there.

 

I totally understand and am the same way. I don't think I could date or be with someone who didn't smoke. However, she's not asking him to quit. She's saying she wants to have sober sex with him.

Think about it from her eyes for a second, is her request for sober sex really that insane, or asking him to change who he is? Not really. And it wouldn't be changing you either, it's a brief moment of sobriety. I can say that even as a pretty heavy smoker myself, if someone I was with was high CONSTANTLY I would wonder if they could tolerate life, or me, sober. And in a 20 year relationship that wondering would be bound to have consequences if unaddressed.

Truth be told, I'm sure if he took the time to find out what was really going on here with her and worked on fixing it - they would be back to having sex high all the time.

 

Okay, if I was in your situation I'd be upset. Confused and upset but I certainly wouldn't go bang someone else. What's really up dude? Were you waiting for an opportunity to cheat or what? That's 20 fucking years right there! Some people would kill to have that kinda stuff. Look have a talk with your woman and figure out why exactly she feels you can't have real feelings for her when you're high. I'm pretty sure there's more to it than that. Talk and figure shit out. Worst case scenario, take a break or end it if you want but do not cheat. That's just low.

 

I work hard all day sober. When I come home I want to smoke and wind down, and no woman is going to take that away from me. It's my favorite hobby and I don't want to give it up. I don't have a lot of free time and in my free time, I try to smoke because it's what I enjoy. No reason that should affect the love life.

Excuse for what? I don't understand what you mean.

I'm saying that she is asking him to make what (to me, at least) seems to be a major change to his personality and lifestyle. After 20 years she knows who he is and shouldn't expect him to change.

 

troll? i mean im rly high but i just dont see this....

 

Here's the thing, she's NOT asking him to quit. She's asking to have sober sex. I'm a heavy smoker but that's something I could easily do.