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Wife had mammogram and we got the call. Need to vent

Discussion in 'Fitness, Health & Nutrition' started by Nokie112, Sep 17, 2021.

  1. A little back story…
    my wife is just over 40, but breast cancer runs in her family.
    Her grandma died at 45 from breast cancer, her aunt has had it in her late 40’s and her cousin got it in her 30’s.
    She had a mammogram done a few weeks ago, got a call saying they couldn’t read it very good( but they acted funny when they called)
    Went back for another last week and the lady said “huh”, the wife said “ what’s wrong” she said “ oh nothing “
    Got a call the next day and have to meet with the dr. Monday for another mammogram and an ultrasound. The dr. told her they seen something.
    We decided we’re not saying anything to the kids (which are older and out of the house) until we figure this out. No need to freak everyone out since it WILL be NOTHING.
    We’ve talked about it a little bit but the wife is acting tough like it’s nothing.
    She was alone today and I heard her crying.
    I don’t know what to do. I know we have to wait til Monday and get the ultrasound, But i am fuckin freaking out.
    Im sorry I just had to vent. Since we said we wouldn’t say anything to anyone for now.
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  2. Nokie, comfort your wife; she will not die from this, she is strong. Explain to her that the survival rate for breast cancer is now greater than 90%.
    Comfort her, its ok, she will be fine.
    Don't freak out, be chill, be cool or you will spook her and stress is a nono. She needs to be relaxed and confident for the next few months. No cortisol, just relax and try to make her laugh.
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  3. Thanks. She’s been pretty nonchalant about the whole thing and we’ve talked a little bit about it. She has joked about it when we have talked. I told her not to worry til we talk to the dr and make sure that it’s nothing.
    I have been fine and not thought too much about it until I heard her cry. Then it just crushed me.
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  4. My wife had a similar situation and got called back , they did needle asperation to see if it was cancer cells
    we went crazy awaiting results. Turns out it was fibers due to her very dense breast tissue and not cancer.
    Her breasts are very hard to scan and now she goes for a more advanced type of screening every year/
    Try not to over think it man, My wife went through it 20 yrs and and has been fine to this day.
    I will pray for you.
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  5. Also want to add I have 3 sisters that had breast cancer and they had operation and Chemo / radiation and they are all alive after yrs with no return, The Docs are doing amazing things these days.
    Hang in there brother.
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  6. So sorry for you and your family
    Be there for her and be there in the fight with her.
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  7. Thanks man that sounds encouraging. I know the wife said that the dr mentioned dense tissue but I think she sorta blanked out once they said she had to go back.
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  8. Dense tissue is a problem for them to read , wait to see what doctors say.
    And once again Cancer is beatable if caught in time, that is way they do yearly scans.
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  9. Been through all of this with ms winks and I know the feelings involved. The waiting is one of the toughest parts. I remember her just carrying on mostly, with the occasional break down. Take care and all the best.
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  10. He said he had trouble reading it but seen something about 6cm that he wants to look at.
    Luckily she has been going once a year since she was 35 because of how much it’s been in the family.
    It’s really put things in perspective for us tho. We keep putting stuff off and saying we’ll do things later. We both have said that we’re not putting things off anymore. If we want to do something we’re going to do it.
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  11. That is pretty much what they told my ,t he doc wanted to do a larger needle aspiration in hospital but she said remove the mass and then biopsy it, Hers was neg,
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  12. Just be nice to her and try and understand she is scared to death of this, buy her something nice and take her on a date to get her mind off things. Do not get into any arguments about it until you know what you are dealing with. Make her feel Loved /
    Good Luck
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  13. That’s funny you say that….She did joke today and said “well I guess if I do have it I don’t have to worry about that breast reduction I wanted.
    . we haven’t argued about anything in a long time. But a few days before the dr called she said she wants an old car we can just cruise around in. So today when she left for work I called and am going to look at a 65 mustang for her. She never does anything for herself and I’m gonna try and surprise her with it
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  14. guys, after reading your responses regarding dense tissue, and I know this may sound odd, but do you massage your ladies breasts? I don't mean in a sexual manner, but in a healing way, kind of like stroking her hair? I've done this for years for my wife and sometimes do come across dense tissue, but carefully and softly I massage her and the dense tissue eventually dissipates. I feel its curative since it helps her lymphatic circulation.

    edit: as well as she enjoys this very much, finding it soothing, although she will complain when i work through some of those denser areas.

    I tease her sometimes and tell her I should open a clinic :)
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  15. We just talked about this today. She was talking about the dense tissue and she has never done a self examination.
    I told her I’ve rubbed them big ol thugs a zillion times and they’ve always felt the same to me. I guess I don’t know what I’m looking for. They just feel like boobs to me.
    I wasn’t trying to be funny I just told her I don’t know the difference between dense and non dense boobs I guess
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  16. do it perodically, like while laying down together watching a movie, or reading stories. If you lightly pinch the breast between your thumb and fingers, you will find denser areas. Continue to press lightly in these areas softly massaging and sometimes I go a lil harder when I find some denser areas, that makes her a little bit uncomfortable, and I don't do it too hard, but hard enough to start breaking up the tension. Don't expect all the dense matter to disappear after one session; it will take time to actually get these areas less congested.
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  17. Does your wife like the 65 stangs? My neighbor collects old cars and has one of Al Capones cars. Also I hope everything goes well! I know everything will work out. I don't know what your beliefs are but I hope that any and all higher beings watch over and protect you and your wife.
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  18. She’s mentioned a mustang and a chevelle that she’s drove by headed to work.
    I stopped and looked at the chevelle and when I told her it was $30k she said… eh I never really liked chevelles.
    She’s the type that would give anyone anything but doesn’t like spending $2 for chapstick for herself
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  19. Thanks Mick, I didn’t want to say it. Besides I’m on a forum mostly pertaining to growing so she doesn’t need to shop online.
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