Why I'm a Ba*tard!! Posting new stories for my first post!!

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by PeacefulToker42, Feb 26, 2008.

  1. Ok....I have a couple of stories to tell. I'm new, but please dont think I'm bullshitting you, all of my stories actually happened, and if you belive otherwise....thats cool too!!

    ok, so as it turns out, when I'm high, im the kind of guy that stuff happens to. You know that friend of yours that always has really interesting stories to tell...well when I'm high, i turn into that guy. So, on to my first story...

    Why I’m a Bastard

    Ok, so there I was, getting high with some buddies from uni, hiding in the bushes away from our student accommodation......believe it or not, some people don’t like you smoking weed on campus grounds....anyway, there we were having a few tokes of some of the best reefer I’ve ever had, just starting to feel it kick in.

    So there we were, hiding in the bushes on campus, keeping an eye out for stray security guards that want to get in on the action and smoke up all of our weed. We are next to a pond so the mosquitoes are all out in force on this particular occasion. What can I say; everything is attracted to that sweet smell of marijuana. Anyways, there we were getting as high as ever, when I decide that it would be such a funny idea to start recording our conversations on my phone....nothing better than playing back your retarded conversations when your sober, or even next time u get high to set everyone off laughing again. So I set my phone to record and put it in my pocket so I cud concentrate on smoking the bowl that had just passed to me...which I did....it was awesome.

    10 seconds later and I had forgotten completely that I had just set my phone to record...you probably all think u know where this is going, but keep reading...you won’t be disappointed. Anyhow, we decided it was about time to head off home and get some buffalo wings out, got to love those munchies man. The walk home felt like it was taking forever, so, being that it was dark and we were obviously alone, I decided that it would be funny if I started shouting out the names of everyone in our little group, shout even louder what we were doing, and for good measure add everyone’s telephone numbers and addresses, in case a stray passerby was curious. Everyone else thought that this was funny too, for some “unknown” reason, and decided to join in, freely admitting to the world that we smoked pot, and we were proud......and knowing that there was absolutely no risk to this, as we were in the middle of a fucking field with no one around for miles

    So anyway, the fun dies down and we get to the edge of the field, and we all start to hear music in our heads........oops, wait.....it was my phone, probably just one of the housemates wondering where we had got to...NO.....IT F*CKING WASNT!!!!!!!

    At this point in time, the super weed we were smoking had kicked it to the max and we felt we were floating all the way home....everyone had a smile on their face and not a care in the world...... I answered my phone....”hello”, I said in a friendly sort of way....”good evening”, replied the gruff voice on the other end.......”this is the police chief centre”..............OH SHIT!!
    Lets rewind just a little..........it turns out, that whilst a phone is in your pocket, locked nor otherwise, it is possible to accidentally dial the number of the emergency services, regardless of the country you are in, something I was not aware of at the time, you can try it now with your own phone, lock it first and give it a try!!!

    SOoooooo......back to the story. My heart...well, stopped for about two seconds if I remember correctly, I felt my smile slide off my face and all of the colour fade from my skin......I stopped dead in my tracks for what felt about an hour, probably only a second or two. “What’s up??” calls a voice from behind... “who is it?”.

    Imaging the look on their faces when I turned around, slowly (I smoked a lot of weed.....turning quickly was not an option) and explained to them in a calm, but slightly jittery voice, that it was a sergeant calling from the police chief centre. Yes, I remember the looks on their faces quite clearly, and as I was high at the time I could read alt deeper into their facial expressions than normal, it was kind of a ‘OMFG what the fuck is going on I’m going to go to jail for a number of years you’d better be fucking yankining my chain’ sort of look!! Unfortunately, no chains were being yanked at this particular time. I collected my thoughts and for a split second, decided on what would now be the best course of action....”HANG UP” I hear you cry.......not so fast, that would seem incriminating. “Good evening officer, what is this regarding?” I reply in calm and cool sort of way, trying to hide the warbling in my voice.... “We believe that you have been calling us from this number, we have been listening to you for......sometime .....is there a problem, do u need assistance sir?” replied the officer.

    I respond, but not with “no thank you officer, everything is fine, I must have dialled by accident”, but with “is this about the wee....”. I stop myself before saying just a little bit too much, but I was still curious about what they had heard. I continued, “how much time.....what have u heard?”, what can I say.....I was curious. A rather gruff response came back at me “we’ve heard enough”.

    What are the chances that of all times to possibly get high, I would choose that particular occasion, whilst giving out a multitude of incriminating evidence, to ring the motherF**ing police.

    I looked back at my friends.....they were looking at me in that ‘what the f*ck do u think you are doing hang up or ill kill your ass’ kind of way......common sense struck me like I was its bitch.......what the hell was I doing having a civilized conversation in a field with a police officer who had obviously hard our shouting of names, telephone numbers, addresses, as well as my shouting’s about how one of my friends had just bought the best weed we had ever had. “Im sorry officer, I believe I may have accidentally called you when my phone was I my pocket” I blurted out “have a pleasant evening” *click*......I hung up. I checked my phone logs, and unfortunately, it turns out that they had been listening to our conversation for a good 7 minutes, just long enough to have been able to hear everything......luckily it’s been a few months now and we still haven’t had any knocks on our door, thank f*ck...I’m such a dickhead!!

    (buffalo wings were great tho)
     
  2. SHIT! Sounds like you actually got lucky. They've probably forgot about it by now though, they have more things to worry about than a couple of teenagers talking about smoking weed.
     
  3. lol wow good story. i was a little scared for you guys when i was reading it.
     
  4. whaaaaaaat??? that seriously happened?? HAHAHAHAHA

    +rep
     
  5. you told that pretty well, i enjoyed it. funny circumstance.
     
  6. how did you accidently call 911?
     

  7. Well it was in Australia so the number was 000, which is pretty easy to press in ur pocket lol
     
  8. oh, hahaha. emergency in aus is 000? cool, learn sumthin new everyday
     
  9. Hahaha funny story; however I don't think you can actually get in trouble for proclaiming that you like to smoke weed.
     
  10. Lol, neither do I, but it was the fact that they heard our names, numbers etc and then the shock when my phone rang and the police were on the other end....add some classic paranoia and u can see why it scared the shit out of us!! lol
     

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