Why do women "treat" me like this?

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Fighter, Nov 13, 2012.

  1. Treat is there for lack of a better word.

    It's just really weird, mostly in the sense that as much as a girl may like me, having an actual normal relationship just doesn't happen. I'm not trying to talk myself up when I say this but no matter how much a girl thinks I'm amazing or genuine or special or whatever nothing happens or they talk about it but apparently don't want to. :confused:

    It's hard to explain but it's really bothering me lately. The last time this happened was with my best friend, who talks to me about issues she wouldn't even mention to family, how says how much she likes me, that I'm hers, hooks up with me, acts like we're a couple in public, but doesn't want a relationship with me. The first time we got that close, she was saying she did, then said she wasn't ready for one, then goes out with another guy that fucks her over hard. She was suicidal until we started talking again and I was actually able to get her out of that mindstate.

    The time before that was with my ex, same story though. We're really close, actually go out, break up with me for being shy but still msgs me daily, gets fucked over by the guy she left me for, we get closer, starts hooking up with me and talking me up, says how she wants to go out again and promises to not fuck me over, then when it comes down to me asking her about it she says we're going out but not actually.. blah blah blah

    There are 2 more times this has happened. The only girls that actually want a real relationship are the ones I dont want to go out with.

    what the fuck :( i have absolutely no idea why they act like this around me, I don't expect anything so I just don't understand it, im basically they're unofficial boyfriend because they're to immature or don't have time for a relationship until someone else comes along which takes no time at all. I'm try to be a really good person and I'm doing really well for myself in terms of university and the corporate law career im entering so I can't think of a reason why I wouldn't be boyfriend material.
     
  2. just bad luck. im kinda in the same situation. it sucks to see how some people get into relationships so easily/frequently and that's somewhat of a challenge for me right now... just going past sexual activity/friendship to a relationship
     
  3. Maybe these women saw your kindness as you being vulnerable.. Idk for sure, but it certainly doesn't add up... Maybe you're not the problem, maybe its the ladies who are abusing your kindness..
     
  4. yeah weird. maybe they are just not that attracted to you to begin with (for whatever reason). or they just think some other guys will be so much better.

    haha girls do want relationships and if they are single or say they don't it's because they haven't found a guy they like enough.
     

  5. when you say vulnerable, in what sense do you mean?

    honestly it would make sense, and i guess human nature plays into it as well, the people i avoid/ignore/separate myself from wont leave me alone while the ones I really care about always end up leaving in some way

    I'm just trying to understand the things that are bothering me because ive been in a really bad way lately and my head feels fucked up right now, my mind is actually in pain from all of this and i don't know how to calm it down.
     
  6. Don't worry man, you're not alone. :rolleyes::eek:
     
  7. [quote name='"Fighter"']

    when you say vulnerable, in what sense do you mean?

    honestly it would make sense, and i guess human nature plays into it as well, the people i avoid/ignore/separate myself from wont leave me alone while the ones I really care about always end up leaving in some way

    I'm just trying to understand the things that are bothering me because ive been in a really bad way lately and my head feels fucked up right now, my mind is actually in pain from all of this and i don't know how to calm it down.[/quote]

    What I ment was that when they see that you're nice and can get from you what they'd want from a relationship: affection, a shoulder to cry on, and sex. Without actually being your girlfriend (obvi not the case for your ex..) .. You do all the things a boyfriend would do without the actual committment... It's not tempting for me, but I kow a lot of ladies who would love to feel special during the week but still fuck whoever they want on the weekend..
     
  8. ive came to this conclusion a couple nights ago... its just the fucking person, they either want it or not.


    (at party) this girl was leaving, and told her friend to stick with me, and im doing everything i can to leave and say i gtg. but as im leaving her goiong back downstairs i say hi to this really hot bitch, just passing by, and she turns and smiles, and im like, uhhh i could stop to talk but this girl is fucking following me..

    moral of the story is: if she really wants to ... she will, if she doesnt, she wont, and it will show.

    just like i try to avoid the fuck out of a girl following me, i would love it if the hot girl was the 1 asking for a ride home,, woulda gave her more than that lol.
     
  9. Grow a pair and be honest. What's the difference between telling us this and telling her? Why waste any time ?
     

  10. your assuming I haven't said this to anyone... I have
     
  11. To be put bluntly..Your life is comparable to a playground for more than one person.

    This is not acceptable, you are a man, and a good looking one at that. Uglier men have done better than you because you let them. You want to be treated a certain way? Let them know that.

    My advice? I have been in this EXACT situation where this girl has me by the balls while seeing other dudes, kind of like fuckin comparing apples to oranges and it never ever ever ends well. GET OUT NOW! Start from a clean slate, find a completely new lady friend and fuckin' start over.
     


  12. So with that being said, how am I suppose to act?

    That's what I don't understand, because this isn't really a "friend zone" situation, just a borderline relationship.

    When I have a girlfriend I treat her significantly different than I do friends, but I just have a much higher opinion of how I treat people in general. If a friend has an issue, I'm going to be there for them, if they need help with something I'm going to do my best to help them, if they're feeling down, I'll do whatever I can to cheer them up.

    To me, that's just being a normal considerate person, but everyone always blows it out of proportion as if I'm too good to be true. Most people in my area that I know are, in my opinion, inconsiderate jerks when it comes to considering anyone else's feelings or problems and predominantly think about themselves.

    I'm not a pushover, extremely far from it. The moment someone takes advantage of me or bothers me I'll let them know, rather harshly, and cut them off, but at the same time I'm extremely forgiving. I try my best to balance all of my traits. That's why I'm not really sure how I could conduct myself differently unless when the time comes for me to be a good person I just make a conscious decision saying "No... I won't help them or give a fuck".

    Other than that I don't know what else to do, and honestly I don't think I could even do that. Going into university was suppose to be my new slate but the exact same thing happens so I just really don't know anymore.
     
  13. Yeah sounds to me like a string of bad luck ):

    I think you'll find someone good for you soon. :)
     
  14. Sounds to me like you're the nice guy being taken advantage of by chicks who like to take advantage of nice guys. :p

    But when it comes right down to it, this is just something that is going to happen a lot until you find the right person.

    Hardly anyone finds a good relationship right off the bat. Most people tend to have a lot of shitty relationships first.
    You date a girl, she turns out to be a bitch, you move on.
    You date another girl, she cheats on you, you move on.
    You date another girl, she's batshit crazy, you move on.
    You date another girl, she's overly needy and likes Twilight, you move on.

    Eventually you'll find a good one.
     

  15. ... that's so accurate it's scary :confused:

    Well on a side note I quit smoking weed and cigarettes again, not that I really smoked much ciggs to begin with, but I think I'm just going to turn my phone off for a while, study in my schools library 90% of my day and go to the gym for that last 10%.

    I really need to stop letting everyone around me fuck with my head so much, none o them are going anywhere except hitching a ride on my back and I honestly can't handle it anymore. Kind of getting off topic in terms of the friends I have right now but every time I stop talking to everyone they always pull me back in. I think I just need to stop giving a fuck, do my own thing, and see who follows the whole way through, I can't turn around anymore. I'm only going to end up where I am right now... which is pissed off and wasting my time.
     
  16. Idk OP im not a very sensitive person, sounds like an issue for Dr Phil . . . . anyway hope you fix the problem so you can smash soon!
     

  17. sex isn't even an issue for me, I just wanna have a chill girl that I can talk to, do things for, and not have to worry about what I say because of "friendship boundaries". It's actually a little funny that the 2 girls that I was extremely close to, the ones where we would always tell each other how much we loved each other, weren't in a relationship with me at the time :p

    God damn lol I think I am just having a string of bad luck :laughing:

    I think people just aren't use to the way I act, I get along with every guy I meet because they all think I'm really chill and a good person. Girls, on the other hand, think I wanna go out with or fuck em so it usually leads to hooking up but also saying they don't want a relationship at the moment, which is something I never even asked for, so we go back to hooking up but I think they still believe I'm acting that way because I love them or sumthin.

    Starting to think I should just say sumthin like BITCH you're not special :laughing: very few people realize I act this way around everyone so I usually trip people out from what I think is doing nothing special.
     


  18. Just remember that YOU find these women, they don't find you.

    Unless their cunts, then they'll come and find you.
     

  19. I beg to differ :p

    I don't really hit on women at all, or go out and find people to date. The only one I technically found was my ex, that my old manager introduced me to, but that's about it.

    Every other girl has been my best friend, someone in my circle of friends, and random people I just met.

    This is my issue: 90% of the time I'm just trying to be friends with them, they're the ones that take it further, so I go with it especially when I like them, but they cut it short just as fast or I don't want anything more cause I realize where it's going.

    I've never really had to ask a girl out, I'm pretty shy, so if I'm not quick to the draw they say how much they like me and how much we should go out or whatever, but it never ends up coming to that unless I'm the one that doesn't want o be with them.

    I've actually never had the chance to tell someone how I feel about them before they say they have a crush on me and want to go out :laughing:
     
  20. From reading this I get the feeling you are a pushover when it comes to relationships with females.
     

Share This Page