why Do Guys Keep Putting Me In The Girlfriendzone? / Friendzone Inverse

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Zeddy, May 23, 2013.

  1. It all comes with time.
     
    Back in the day; I dated this girl we'll call K. From when I was a youngin' in grade 9, up to grade 11.. nearly 3 years. We're at a party for New-Years, everyone has had a little too much. I got to watch her make out with some random dude. What a great way to start the year off, right?
     
    It actually was. It took me a long time to realize it; but it was for the best. She hurt me. A LOT. But it was bound to happen sooner than later, and I'm glad it happened sooner. Less time, money, and resources wasted on her.
     
    Been dating the girl I'm with now for almost 1.5 years, and it's easily the best relationship I've had. Not to sound too cheesy, but things happen for a reason man. You've gotta adapt, move on, and open the door so that things will flow for you. 
     
    Again, sorry for rambling.  :wave:

     
  2.  
    Thanks for taking the time to write that, dont apologize for great advice. I used to have the everything happens for a reason mindset, then one day it totally disappeared 100%. I will try to remain positive, even after one of the most traumatic days of my life
     
  3. A lot of girls have nothing more to offer than pussy/good looks. They aren't interesting, funny or charming. So a lot of guys only talk to them because of their pussy. So if every guy you talk to stops talking to you after you establish a "friends only" relationship, you should wonder why your personality isn't interesting enough to keep them around.
     
  4. Reading comprehension fail?
     
    The point of this thread is guys who want a girl as MORE THAN a friend; aka they enjoy their personality, wit, etc.
     
    Not guys who want a bootycall.
     
  5. #85 rollinjoints, May 27, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: May 27, 2013
    More than a friend means a sexual relationship (otherwise it'd just be a platonic friendship). This doesn't imply that the person enjoys the other's personality. And really, the one being friendzoned has intentions which the girl doesn't actually know (in other words, who's she to say he doesn't just want ass).
     
  6. #86 rain dancer, May 27, 2013
    Last edited: May 27, 2013
    I like how the person who wrote the article wastes the guys time by stringing him along, only to be confused by his reaction to rejection. As if after that severly awkward moment things could ever be the same again. Guys learn young that women who are friends don't put out, just like girls learn young that if a guy gives her attention, she can exploit his obvious attraction. Getting angry at biology is silly, but behavior can and should be altered. If this has occurred more than once to the author, perhaps she is the problem.

    Also, the date stuff - All the things listed were things you do with someone you care about and most are actually things people do with a significant other.

    I know a lot of bitter females who have the same mentality and they are miserable people. Funny, the chicks that don't have the mentality as the author, don't have those man problems either....almost like there's a direct correlation or something....

    ;)


    Btw, I ran this story through a few women in my family (people in long term relationships) before posting and they agreed that the author needs to mature a little and be more direct with her position of staying single, without the sarcasm of course.

    Edit: for the sake of humor

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA&feature=youtube_gdata_player
     
  7.  
     
    Wow. I mean really. You have nothing to do but call me a feminist in all this (when it's not an insult or even relevant to what this thread is about) and everyone thinks its time to have a feminazi stomp. Then you go as far as to make accusations about who I am, my lifestyle, when once again This thread is not about me and who I am. I gave my opinion on the matter, if you find it sensitive to your ego, Oh well sorry but I mean I won't let you think that attacking me and my personal views is any way yo get a point across. You can say all the shit you want about me but I will still post here, I will still be me (who you don't know beyond this forum) so intead of thinking you can stray and make a point by attacking me and my life, why do you be relevant and actually stick to the topic? This isn't about me and my feminist views (so what if they are?) it's about how this person is posting on a forum because obviously they are asking for some sort of feedback.
     
    That's what I did. I gave you feedback. You don't have to agree with it, but once again don't think that totally straying from a topic and turning it into a hazing is actually contributing anything.
     
    Like I said, get over yourself. It's simple, stop thinking that certain situations will always work in your favor in terms of delicate relationships. You aren't the only person on earth with emotions, lusts and what not.
     
  8.  
    Tell me, when did I at any point single out men as the bad guy in this? Really I wanna see it. I said that both sexes/genders have entitlement issues. You can say I was saying "vagina power!" all you want but I didnt. Youre literally trying to make an argument out of something that the thread wasn't even about.
     
  9.  
    It is hard to be friends with yall, you're f'in nuts at times. It is hard enough to be in a relationship with, friends with a female just isnt worth the time and suspicion it creates with the gf. 
     
  10.  
    Wow really because I mean youre making it a point to take this argument out of the thread and attack me personally....
     
    Some people really need to grow the fuck up..
     
  11. you could really use a lesson in multi-quoting.
     
  12.  
    And you in signature formatting. But nit picking at random shit is once again making no point.
     
  13. being just friends with a girl (unless she's lesbian or obese or horribly ugly) just never made sense and never will. It naturally doesn't make sense for most men, got WAY better things to do then devote time to a girl "friend". 
     
  14. #94 docleary, May 28, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: May 28, 2013
    or i could have left it as a fuck you to grassshitty.
     
  15.  
    Well that sound's like a problem to take to the mods, not me..
     
    But yeah, fuck these silly friendzone ideas.. It's not worth the time thinking that A.) a person will always reserve their feelings for you and B.) A person who isn't yours only, isn't worth your time. If you don't like my opinion then you certainly don't have to live by it.
     
  16.  
    Do you devote time to male friends? I don't see why there has to be a difference. Male friends are worth it because they don't have a vagina to stick your dick in? :p 
     
  17. I do devote time to them, but IDK it's just awkward bringing a hot girl along if I know she don't wanna do anything... bring her along so some other joe scmoe could smash her despite the fact I'm actually good friends with her? IDK just feels weird. I guess only guys can describe it and even still it's hard to put into words. It just doesn't feel natural at all. I mean, I'm talking if I'm chilling with a girl "friend" we are just chilling on campus, or maybe go to grab a meal and I just listen to  her vent nod my head, crack my jokes and enjoy myself. 
     
    I can't find it within me to invite these same girl "friends" out when I go to a party, or if I'm going to the movies with a group of friends even... or going to the club, or a bar, or anything like that... it's just awkward if we're talking this is a hot girl who doesn't want me in any way shape or form other than to use me (which is how it feels - and then she phucks some random dude). That's that stuff I don't like. Or she'll do that, then she'll tell me she just wants a nice guy. And then I'm like jaw dropped... we both know I'm the nicest guy you've ever met, so whats wrong? And I ain't ugly I've posted my pic on here numerous times. Hell here is another pic I just took right now, about to play some xbox and REEFER it up. I have a cast on my right leg from surgery so that's why I look weird there. And several girls try to get my number, etc. http://oi40.tinypic.com/2py5ovn.jpg
     
    I can't even put it into words, it just doesn't feel natural to be "friends" with a dime, when I know she's not interested in me at all. That's why I can't do it. And my girl "friends" are average looking, average girls at best because of this. 
     
    I don't know why! :( 
     
  18. #98 ByePhilipe, May 29, 2013
    Last edited: May 29, 2013
    It's obvious insecurities, prince.

    You're territorial and you dont want some guy taking what you want to be yours. Now that you put it that way, it seems kind of like some leftover caveman mentality.

    Luckily, most of us have evolved. Friendship is about enjoying that persons company. I have super hot friends that I love hanging out with but hated when guys were around because it was a constant battle for their attention.

    I guess I can see how it would be demasculating for a guy. And it also sounds like the group of guys you hang out with.

    I know lots of guys who don't have sex with every single girl they meet and they actually have standards and respect women so when they hang out with a girl, it's on equal ground and it isn't about showing off to get her attention. It's just like, you're cool! Come hang.

    And last time I checked, not only 'dimes' get dudes. What's the difference between one of your guy friends stealing a really hot friend vs an average one? Either way, they're screwing and you aren't.
     
  19. Sort of, I guess. But I mean, I'm probably coming off wrong, because only a couple times have I cut contact with a girl like this. I'd just rather do other things than my time than to give it to that person, I get more benefit using my time in other ways then just hanging out with a girl who, I think is hot, she thinks I'm hot, we like each other but she doesn't want to date anyone (that was the case twice in past, and I cut contact because it made no sense to me to keep giving them my time). Kind of like the story of OP really....
     
    The only other time I can recall where I got rejected, was last fall/winter and I've actually maintained a great friendship with that girl. Her friends joke that we are BF GF and my friends do to, but we are both happy just being friends - albeit really close ones for opposite gender. This is the first instance where I've befriended a girl who I really like mentally, and physically. Plus she feels the same about me, but claims not ready for a relationship/can't properly devote herself to me if it happened. (BTW, what validity would you put behind a excuse like that?) We are really close, and I've only known her like 9 months yet I talk to her, hang out with her,  etc. more often than ANY of my guy friends. Maybe I've matured? But in the past I just never gave it any thought.. like whether I could just successfully be friends with a broad like that. I just assumed no... for the most part I assumed it wouldn't work out, but in reality I never gave it a shot... kind of sucks, maybe those two other girls (one from two years ago, other from H.S.) are actually awesome 
     
    :(
     
     
    I suppose this is where I'm supposed to learn from my mistakes lol
     
  20. It's different in your situation. It's hard to be friends with someone that you want sexually. Especially for me. I'm open as fuck. I'll be like, let's go. No strings attached.

    I get that. I thought you meant like just any super hot girl. You just can't chill with any hot girl because it's almost like you can't see them for anything more than a sex object.

    What you're saying now is different.

    And with the girl. I don't know. I'm a hopeless romantic, man. If I like a guy, I'm going after him. I've never been like, 'too busy' or 'not ready for a relationship.'

    Im afraid that that guy and I could have major chemistry and I will do whatever it takes to make it work.

    Only way I can relate is that my last dude was all, 'im not ready for a relationship' but lets fuck and cuddle and say I love you and spend a ridiculous amount of time opening up to each other BUT we weren't in an actual relationship and we didn't have sex with other people.

    Looking back I see that he just wanted to have a good time. No disrespect towards me. Nothing against me. He just didn't want drama. He wanted us to enjoy each other and that was that.

    I wish I would have understood that so things would be different now but like you said, you learn.
     

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