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Why do girls like guys that treat them like shit?

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by briangumble, Jun 26, 2009.

  1. There's this girl I use to like, well I kinda still do but we don't talk anymore. Anyways her boyfriend treats her like shit, he's the controlling/jealous type, he has Chris Browned her before, and I think he cheated on her before. I've never met him but I heard people say he's a douchebag. He dropped out of high school and he's an illegal immigrant, so I don't think he'll ever be able to take care of her financially. I don't think she has self esteem issues, so can someone please explain to me why she would be with a guy like this or what could possibly be attractive about him? I don't fucking get it and I just wish I understood this shit. I don't consider myself a "nice guy", but I'm not an asshole either, but I guess I need to be? I don't know.
  2. Women are attracted to charisma, to the "leader of the pack", and they often go hand in hand.
  3. dude there was this exact post like last week, gtfo.
  4. Lol no man you don't need to be an asshole to get a girl.
    And it's not all girls that like guys that treat them like shit either. Some are just... complicated. They get so into a guy and in a situation like the one you're explaining he probably manages to make her feel like she's the best out there. So much so that he's managed to control her enough to "Chris Brown" her? Some girls are a little gullible and it sucks, but I mean what can you do? Intervene? Without any proof? The girl is pretty much the only one that can stand up for herself and say I don't like this shit. But apparently she does, and if she does not she's just being a pussy. Maybe she's scared to tell someone of higher authority about her relationship. Who knows.
    The answer to your question can be so broad simply because there's so little we know.
    There are so many possibilities as to why this chick might like being treated like shit, or maybe she dislikes it but does not find the power within herself to do something about it. I don't know, man. Everyone has their own story and it's always going to be different.

    Don't let her situation with the dude affect you personally. You do not need to change you're entire persona to get the girl you want.
    Relax and let the girl that's into you, willing to put up with you and accept you, come to you.
    If you really care a lot about this girl's well-being, the one in your original post, you should tell someone else about it.
    Someone else that knows her. Ask around or simply go up to her so that she can answer this question herself.
    If you're not down for that, then just let it go. Get over it shit happens in life, some people are fucked others are not.
    There's not much you can do about it.
  5. Well, some girls are just fucking retarded.

    And some girls like being treated like shit, because shit smells good.

    ^^Sorry, I just had to say that, thats not really what I think, but it just went perfect.
  6. Want a girl opinion?
    I was in a very similar situation with a complete asshole. Treated me like absolute shit but I was just so attracted to him that I would just take it. But trust me, eventually girls get over the assholes, because they will realize that they can do better (I am still in this stage). And it may take awhile, but we def do not need anymore assholes in this world so just stay chill and no worries, you'll be good. Trust me, alot of girls can be super into chill stoners lol.
  7. Some girls are just weird and like assholes.

    Some girls get with assholes and a semi-young age and take a while to realize that they can do a hell of a lot better than that.

    I would hope that most of us become women and grow out of it, because my man most certainly does not treat me like shit. :p
  8. I have pondered this question more than anything else. I don't understand why some chicks like to be treated like shit and teased and made fun of. I may be the "nice guy" but its only because I'm dumbfounded why these chicks fall for assholes.

    :eek: sorry for that short rant, guess i needed to vent :D
  9. It's a domination thing
  10. low self esteem, daddy issues, submissive, addicted to drama, etc.

    pick one
  11. normally girls/women don't fall for assholes. the guy will usually start off like a gentleman and slowly show his true self. before they know it, they see what kind of real man they're with and by then the girl either feels trapped, is insecure, or is down right crazy a loves the drama. IMO
  12. I'm going to try to be careful with how I phrase this but this is not always right. When a girl says, "I'm sick of all these assholes, every boyfriend I've had has been like that" it's just giving the man everything he needs to know to land her. Be an asshole, because that's what she's obviously attracted to.

    Women often have a hard time differentiating between nice guy with confidence who isn't afraid to bust her balls and mess around with her, and the cocky asshole who's going to treat her like shit. There's a distinct difference between the two, one is coming from a fun personality and another is coming from a shithead personality.

    On the flip side of the coin many men don't know how to be confident without being an asshole because they don't know where that line is drawn.

    copied and pasted from a diff thread

  13. Trying to understand woman logic is damn near impossible. Mostly because depending on the woman - they can be very different from each other. There are a ton of girls who go for asshole types, get fucked over, and then go straight into the arms of another asshole. On the other hand there are girls who are smart and capable of finding a great guy; and when they find them - they hold on to them.

    You will never find the true answer to "Why do women like assholes?" ....because your never gonna find the answer. More than that, the answer could be a number of different things.

    Girls who are assholes usually do one or more of the following that woman are taken by:
    1. Give them excitement
    2. Make them think that they should be pursuing him as opposed to him pursing her
    3. Assholes have the tendency of being physically attractive (just like women who are ridiculously hot are many times complete idiots).
    4. Assholes have the tendency of being well off financially

    One last thing: Women are capable of being just as superficial as men. Sometimes, women are out at the bar trying to find the most attractive man to sleep with THAT night. On some of those occasions they find a guy they interpret as being a cool person and start a relationship with them. Guys do the same shit.
  14. I disagree. We DO have brains and know the difference between a man who is confident and one who is.

    You seem to have a lot of experience with young, naive girls, but not with women. Most women know the difference and (subconsciously or consciously) they just don't believe they deserve the former. Or they think they can be the one to "change him".

    Trust me though.... I've worked with enough abused women to know that they know the difference.
  15. Yeah, but this problem usually happens to younger guys. We know that "WOMEN" are smart and this and that but it usually takes them a while to make the transition from girl to woman. There are a lot of 15-19 year old guys who are good people but find themselves SOL when it comes to the ladies due to the fact that they aren't assholes. I was one of them.

    The later years of my life I had a lot of success with women, not just getting laid randomly - I'm talking about really great relationships, no drama, just good times. But when I was younger I had a much more difficult time because I was trying to hookup with "girls".

  16. This is true.

    It's really so complicated. I wish I could claim to understand it fully, but I never had that attraction to the 'bad boys'. I like my life drama-free, thankyouverymuch.
  17. #17 barfdog17, Jun 26, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 26, 2009
    Yes, I'm also 20 and in college, so I don't spend a ton of time around females older than 25.

    I'm not trying to start a fight, but this is why we're talking about GIRLS and not women. If someone asks me a question about girls, I'll give 'em answer about girls. If someone asks me about women, I'll give them an answer about women.

    I'm sure most women know when they're meeting an asshole vs. a confident man. As time goes on the asshole gets more assholish and the confident man learns how to express himself more confidently in a way that makes people comfortable around him.

    I've done volunteer work with S.A.V.E as well, it makes me sad to the core of my being to know what those women have gone through.

    And to Lionel, EXACTLY. This is why the few times I've gotten involved with women I've always had a blast, because they know who they are and I don't have to play a dancing monkey role to stimulate them mentally.

  18. For sure. I feel bad because I know a lot of guys have this problem - hell, I did when I was younger. Can you imagine being 18, surrounded by good looking girls and none of them being interested in you because you are a nice normal guy? It has gone so far to make nice guys actually mimic assholes in order to pick up women.
  19. the old sayin goes, treat em like dirt, they stick to u like mud.
    i find it rather true, i used to get girls back when i was the arrogant jerk. now that ive become nice and chill, ive been single:(
  20. Yeah - I remember the first time I experimented with acting like a prick when I met a girl at a bar. I was AMAZED at how interested she was in me :)

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