Why can't I smoke?

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by Salleh, Oct 3, 2017.

  1. I have been smoking bud for over 5 years now but it was only about 4 months ago that I stopped. I don't remember the reason only that it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I think I just didn't want to feel like I was using weed to fill something in my life that wasn't there. Anyway, four months later I have a decent job, have discovered how to deal with changes and anxiety without weed, and have overall been slowly learning who I am besides being a stoner. I feel cleaner and more focused than I have since i was 14 years old. I promised myself that I wouldn't quite weed forever, just learn how to make it an indulgence not a habit. I used to smoke everyday almost every hour. I had a goal of changing that to once or twice a week once I had my life together. Yet, I discovered yesterday that I can't. I bought weed last night and had decided about three days ago that it was about time to toke up. But I just couldn't. I would hold the pipe to my mouth and sparked the lighter about 5 times but couldn't bring myself to do it. I just held the pipe in my hands for thirty minutes trying to talk myself into doing it but at end I just couldn't. I don't believe weed is bad and I love it to death it has gotten me through the worse times in my life. So why can't I smoke now that everything is ok? I want to smoke and get high I really miss it, but what's stopping me? Every time I pack it I can't bring myself to actually burn the damn herb. (Btw sorry for the long post....)
     
  2. There’s some days I wish I was like that. I’m going to have to go on a focred break for a bit(in between jobs) and the thought of not having weed scares me. Being sober is fucking scary the world is fucking scary. But you gotta learn to just be able to it alone without weed and you will become
    A stronger person. And in regards to your not wanting to smoke I would say if your not feeling it then don’t smoke. Sounds like you may have some personal growth you still want. I’ll leave you with my thoughts of
    What I plan to do when I start smoking again.

    Go through my day sober go to work do whatever I need to do, and if at night after all my needs/responsibilities are met and if I
    Want to spark up and wacth a movie or something then I feel better about it. Maybe something like that would work for you
     
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  3. Only you can answer that question.

    Maybe your time with weed is over.
    Don't force yourself
     
  4. Going without weed for some people is the toughest thing they have to do(from my personal experience). When we don't have weed were forced to actually deal with reality. Discovering why you smoke in the first place can help you with not having weed but even then its difficult to go without it. My first few days without weed were "scary" as you say. I was so used to being high all the time.

    It gets better though. Life has its ups and downs but they're never forever. Its sucks that your in between jobs though... :c I hope you find one soon because your plan sounds wonderful. We should smoke because we want to... not because we feel we have to. After all our responsibilities are met who are we deny ourselves a little reward? We deserve it.

    Maybe that just it for me, I feel like I haven't met my goals yet(haven't had enough personal growth). Sure I feel like I have my life somewhat together, I mean i have made it this far without weed. Maybe I still have a long way to go. I'll smoke again soon, but I guess it won't be today. Not untill I feel everything is where it should be.
     
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  5. That makes a lot of sense. Maybe i just programmed my brain to not even want the stuff anymore. It was either that or cave in to my cravings every hour.
     
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  6. I personally smoke up maybe twice a month and thoroughly enjoy it because I'm not putting my life on hold to smoke weed like so many people do.

    I've had severe moderation issues in the past with everything from drugs to food, so this is just what works best for me.

    Sent from my SM-J120W using Grasscity Forum mobile app
     
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  7. Everyone has their vices. Even though weed is a nutritional supplement that greatly benefits its users, dependency can make people weak. Feeling independent in modern society is much easier with a paycheck and employer than weed and self-esteem. Not everyone can be their own boss so feeling like you have to settle for what society wants is the choice sobriety gives you.

    If chasing paper and money is more important than mental and physical well-being then be secure and safe with money. Everyone does it so fit in with everyone else and let governed peoples dictate your life for you. Making tough decisions takes two parties or more but the choice is yours to make alone.

    Smoke weed every day.
    :love-m3j:
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  8. To OP it doesn't matter, and we are proud of you for getting your life straight smoke weed again never smoke weed, It doesn't matter at all, you sound happier, you sound like your life is in a better place celebrate that my friend!!!! Maybe weed will be your thing in a week or maybe it will be in a month or 3 years from now or just maybe never again, trust me it's ok just be happy and live life and if you ever spark a J or puff a bowl cool!!!! If not still advocate the good of marijuana (please) I for one am proud of you and you can pm me if you need a deeper conversation on the subject
     
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  9. I disagree, with you i disagree (ha! lol)
     
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  10. Weed is magnificent it has helped many people with chronic illnesses and even people who don't. Its helps people relax and unwind in a world that it constantly stressing. I have nothing against marijuana... But I do admit I might have abused it a bit. I don't crave weed anymore though, Its just on my mind constantly. I even dream about smoking a bowl sometimes and I really miss it.

    I didn't do much while I was smoking, I just sat around and smoked all day everyday. Some people can be productive while on weed but unfortunately that wasn't the case for me... I didn't like the direction in which my life was headed. I don't blame weed for my unproductive years(odds are I was gonna be like that with or without it), but it sure as he'll didn't help.

    Hopefully weed and I will meet again in the near future. It is a wonderful herb, but like anything in this world that is wonderful it can be either used, or abused. I took it far and honestly sometimes I don't see why I don't just smoke after work seeing as I paid my bills and everything. I just can't though. I think my mind just doesn't let me, I've made it so far. Weeks of insomnia, night sweats, and constant lucid nightmares. My life is going on the right direction, but Im still not where I want to be. To be honest I'm almost 21 and still dont know what i want to be, or what's ultimately gonna make me happy. Weed didn't make me happy to be honest, it just helped me forget that my life was kinda going nowhere. I used weed in the wrong way.

    However, I still want to learn how to use weed in the "right" way. To relax, or maybe to just clear the mind after its been on autopilot all day. But the way I was using it to simply push, supress, and forget was unhealthy. I don't want to go back to that...
     
  11. I do that everyday. C: Buffulo soldier by Bob Marley is my jam! Makes me laugh every time I hear it, but I still can't bring myself to smoke. I've learned to relax without weed, but still nothing can compare to getting high off some good weed.
     
  12. I was forced to quit and do drug tests when I was 15. For half a year I actually believed getting drunk every day was better than smoking weed. Then one day I passed out in my own vomit in what we call the junkie shack. That day I decided I should smoke again. Maybe you need something like that to happen or it won't work. Or maybe sober is your new high
     
  13. Bro I'm 34 with a kid, your attitude is way better than you can imagine, I quit cigarettes for 3 years now i still dream about them hell wake up think I've been smoking one for real sometimes, so i get that with the herb, you have a good head on your shoulders it shows in your writing about your life, it's ok not to know what you want to do with your life you're still really young work hard, stay positive, if something isn't working for you in your life don't be afraid to step away from it (or a person even) don't be afraid to make major changes in your life don't be afraid to change your mind 1,000 times until everything works for you, i don't know if we have more than one life so make the best of yours embrace the things that make you happy, embrace the postive, and learn to let go of negativity and negative people they aren't worth your time, you have the rest of your life to shape your reality, make sure you shape it not us, not anyone, you seem like a cool peep, grasscity is happy to have members like you even if you never toke up again
     

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