I guess the title says it all, and Im just curious if anyone else ever had this experience. Im still miserable without her, but its been so long since I've been happy that I dont know what the feeling happy is anymore. I dont feel depressed, I just dont feel. I can do the things I used to do, I am perfectly functional, but I feel like a ghost moving between objects. Its hard for me to tell if I still think about her or not, because everything in my life was associated with her. Its almost impossible for me to do something that didnt have a connection with her, she was my life after all. So I cant say I dont think about her. But what I can say is that when I go to bed sober, not high or drunk. I just lay awake for about an hour or 2. And shes the only that goes through my mind when Im alone in my bed like that. I started taking melatonin to help me sleep more naturally. But as we all know, Melatonin can cause you to have extreme dreams. And that was my biggest fear. After our break up, if I dream about her, I would have a severe panic attack in the morning. Thats just what happens when you cant distinguish dreams from memories. You start to hate yourself because you feel so fucking stupid that you dont know if a person is real or not anymore. When Im awake, the memory of her feels like a distant dream that never really happened, and when I dream, thats when she becomes real. But the melatonin makes the dreams so much more worse. And its because of this that i can feel an addiction starting for the melatonin, I want her back so badly that I will settle for dreams. I take 10 mg a night, and I just dreamt about her. Which is why Im writing this. I can only have her in my sleep, and i hate waking up in the morning because of it. I cant see her face anymore even in my dreams, but I know that its her when I dream. Every time I try to force myself to see her face in my mind, my eyes get teary. Its just frustrating. For me, its been a year and a half. Any similar stories?
Stop taking the melatonin if it makes it worse? I think its time to move on with your life man, a year and a half is a long time to be laying around thinking of your ex. Sorry if it sounds rude, but in order to move on you have to try.
There is an herbal suppliment called 5HTP (it's not a drug OK?) that can help you with those dreams. It will replace dreams about her with dreams about the weirdest shit you ever imagined. Plus it's an anti-depressant.
wouldnt it be awesome if you could Reason with emotion? I did stop taking it for a while, the dreams were to intense, and I started to get afraid of sleeping again. That was about 3 months ago. And i just recently started taking it again, and instead of being upset when I woke up, I wanted it again. Thats how i noticed the change. I've dated since then, and its awful lol. I feel ruined by her. I cant settle for less than what i used to have, so I'd rather have nothing. Which the girl I dated didnt appreciate to much but. I started hating her because everything we did together was essentially what I used to do with my ex. And I used to love those things with my EX, but I cant do them anymore with other people. Which means.........well either i have to re-define my life, or IM still not ready to date. Damn, a year and a half is along time? I was thinking about doing this myself. Personally i dont believe in "depression" because no one ever gives you a test for the chemicals in your brain to say "you have an imbalance" All psychological diagnosies are subjective which means they have no proof, its just an opinion. An opinion that I have a brain imbalance has no meaning lol A CT scan would have meaning. but I dont have insurance for that.
I went through the same thing, man. It wasnt as bad for me, but often I would get those dreams and not want to wake up, because my dreams were so much better then my reality. Just try to get out there and meet a new girl. There are so many other girls out there that are gonna be as good if not better then your ex. It'll help you get your mind off her. And Ive heard that what you think about before you sleep is most likely to be what your going to dream about. try to think of other things before sleep. I uderstand that it is so much harder then it sounds to just forget and move on, but it eventually will happen. I still havn't fully moved on and the dreams havnt stopped but there becoming less often. Me and my ex still hangout though, we were on EXTREAMLY bad terms for the first couple months, but then we started casually talking again. He now has a new girlfriend and we're always hanging out in a big group (so she is there as well), and to be honest it is very hard seeing him with someone else but thats why i just say "fuck it! i dont care, i deserve better." that always seems to help. Plus its like forcing me to move on. Good luck man!! Your single, go get out there and have some fun! PS. Lots of people went and are going through this. keep that in mind. Its pretty normal. You'r obviously just a sensitive person and have a heart, unlike some people that take 5 minutes to move on. (my ex for example.) Im not saying your any less manly for being sensitive. It just makes you less of a dick! haha. But, i hope this helped at least a little.
smoke weed....it disrupts your REM cycle.....so if you smoke enough like me you won't have dream for over 3 years. Atleast remember one for that matter.....
Well Im flattered that you joined our website just to respond to me. Im definitely not ready to date because i keep holding girls to my ex's standards. Its just hard. Looking down at girl naked and knowing "ugh............this is what I have now? i used to have better, I dont want this" yeah its douchey, but its true, cant keep it hard if you just aint into it I guess. I've have several friends in there 30's that went through this and they are fucking RUINED. My one friend has a wife and kid, and admitted to me that he doesnt love his wife nearly as much a the girl that broke his heart. And my other friend hates women now and only uses them because of the fact. im desperately trying to not be like these guys, but holy fuck do I understand how they feel. Thats the problem with meeting the girl of your dreams. Everything i had ever dreamed of I got with her. And now I have nothing left to dream about. I hear you on that, if I could afford it I would be smoking every single night for this very reason. It is literally the main reason I smoke weed. But im too poor to do it so often now which fucking blows. if it wasent for my Ex, I wouldnt even be smoking weed or be on this website. She was the one that introduced weed into my life. And weed has never been the same without her. I havent truely felt high since I was with her, and I've been trying to phase weed out of my life more and more because its just another fucking thing I cant enjoy without her. Or just isnt what it used to be with out her.
kilff, bro, take a t-break, do some traveling and then come back to weed once you get your head sorted out. Women come and go, world still goes around. Iv lost a child due to one ex, been assaulted by the father of another ex with a hammer (because i dumped her and made her cry lol), had the love of life leave to study in another country and i couldn't go with her amongst many others... There is one thing in life that people under estimate. That is the power of human being to survive. If you dropped everything today, your house, car, job, belongings and set off in a new direction, do you honestly think you would not be able to survive? Im not saying everyone should do that, what i am saying is, life is not worth being spent sad or unhappy. If that is your life, make some changes. Try not to be scared. You will be scared but you will also be surprised just how capable you really are. When i was 22 i met my wife in Spain. We both had nothing to our names as such. She had been in a abusive relationship, i was depressed. God knows how we even managed to talk to each other with our social anxieties!! well anyway, we dropped everything in the space of 3 days, bought 2 tickets to Thailand and stayed there for 5 months then came back to Spain with a new perspective altogether. Things have only got better since.
I dreampt about my ex last night too and it was great,felt so real,we were listening to great music,gettin high,ended up fucking,ect lol.We have alot in common so it's sad we're not together anymore BUT it didn't bother me.Because this dream was once in a long time where I wasn't alone.
It was about time i joined anyway. haha. And, it doesnt sound douchey, you just have standards... thats acceptable. It's hard taking steps backwards if you've gone so far forward. Like your other friends, you'll probably always love her, but sometimes letting someone we love go is a very difficult challange we need to go through to make ourselves stronger. Don't let this fucked up universe win. Show life who's boss. Either go get her back (sometimes its possible, you never know), or when your ready get back out there and find the next girl of your dreams. She's somewhere, it wont be the same... but find uniqe things that you didnt or couldnt with the last girl. That way there wont be as much to compare to her.
Yeah Im just wading through my problems (not waiting) I went to get my masters degree specifically because of us breaking up. My life had no directions so I just through myself back into school, and Im still going for it right now. Alot of my professors dont recognize me because of the changes. The had known me and her for so long, and each of them mentioned to me how much I had changed in the year they hadn't seen me. My mother especially. She knows more than anyone how my personality has made a 180 since she left. Its the memory loss that bugs me. Losing her was so hard that it fucked up my capacity for memory retention. I have a really hard time talking with people becuase of this because I just cant remember things we've talked about anymore. I need things repeated to me several times or I have to make an extremely conscientious effort to remember. And I used to have a perfect memory, it was one of my better qualities. I could recite anything necessary. I'd remember everything everyone said. Obviously it wasnt an easy break up. There was alot of things that happened. And to this day, her stalker wont leave me alone. Cops wont do anything so I stopped calling after 2 separate investigations. Thats exactly it. UNfortunately the girl I dated after my ex would have been another "girl of my dreams" type But those just aren't my dreams anymore. I think trying to date that last girl just showed me that my tastes and what I want are different now. Which is why it didnt work. I mean...........I really want to enjoy sex again. When its the best sex of your life EVERY TIME you have sex. Its a rough act to follow. Im dying to go to the boston Hempfest. But I know that if i go, I will only spend my time looking for her -.-
Damn dude, sorry things are so rough right now. Can't tell you how many times my life has been fucked from a girl. Stay pre-occupied! Take a tolerance brake, and find some happiness somewhere else. Your body just needs some time to re-adjust! Keep your head up mayne, things will get better, I SWEAR!
I think a T break is in order as well. So far I've introduced 2 new things into my life. and thats health and fitness. I work out alot, which changed my body considerably, and Im big into vitamins and herbs. I lost my passion of scientific research because of this break up, so I need a new direction to apply my intelligence. How many people say they got to be with a Japanese scientific genius that was also a model. I had dreamed of doing joint research with her, but every time I see a research lab, theres just nothing inside me. I was thinking maybe Holistic medical doctor someday. I envy you lol.
I understand emotions are hard to control, but you're changing who you are because of a girl man. You cant let some one control you that much, especially one and a half years later. You're cheating yourself out of your interests. Stay strong man, hopefully you start to see improvements in your life
I hear ya. My friend forced me to keep reading manga after we broke up. It was just to hard going from having my own personal Japanese translator reading me my mangas to just sit around alone reading it in english. I just for the first time read a new manga since we broke up. Its called "gantz" its really good, but the romance in it keeps striking a cord with me. Makes it enjoyable to read though cause I really connect with the characters. But if I can start reading manga again, not all hope is lost. Which is nice.