i was wondering, when our parents get really old and unable to live independantly.. what will you do?? my grandmother lives with one of her daughters now, but as bad as it sounds, i really wouldn't want my parents living with me... but i would feel bad about putting them in a home too.. anybody think about this before?
This is why I'm going to college so that I can take care of my parents when they get old. I'd never put anyone in my family in a home. My grandfather was in one for two weeks when he was really ill with cancer but then we brought him back to live with his sister, because it's just not right in my mind to do that to a loved one. My parents and who ever I marry their parents are more than welcome to live in my house when they get old. Hey now, free babysitting! LOL My family used to live with my grandparents and aunt when I was little, and at another point my grandfather lived with us, so I see it as perfectly normal
Well my dad is dead. So that leaves my mom. How will I take care of her? I will let her live here with us when she gets to be that age.
Both my grandmas have lived with my aunts, and I can tell you that caring for an aging loved one is no easy task, my abuela that passed away 2 years ago had to have sort of a live in aide to help her my aunt had to work to pay the bills and such, and i go and take care of my other grandma about 4 days of the week my aunt also has to work. Its a very emotionally and physically draining thing to do, weahter its changing someones diaper, or trying to deal wiht someone who has some form of dementia and gets combative really easliy. The point of my post? Just that in ideal circumstances, caring for your aging parent(s) woudl be easier, but the sad truth is its not, oyu have to be physically, emotionally and financially stable, and you might need to know a bit about legla stuff ( power of attorney and all that). Be sure to discussthis with your parents, ask if they have a will, a living will, and what they want to happen shoudl they become incapacitated, its better to be prepared. As for my parents, Im going to do the best that I can to care for them, my mom told me not to worry about her, shes made arrangements, but Im still going to be there for them no matter what. They did that for me, even though they arent perfect, they gave me life and tried to raise me the bet that they could wiht what they know.
Dude, I hear ya when my grampa got sick my mom would go and take care of him when he couldn't even change himself, and he was a very prideful man. I think the worst thing that ever happened was when we told him he could no longer drive because he was too sick It damn near killed him, but although it was a very hard time on the whole family, for the first time in a long time the family was together again. I like when families live together or near each other, I don't think enough people get to spend large quantities of time with their loved ones.
My mom and dad have both said that they don't want to go out in the care of me or my brother but they would rather have that happen than be living in a sterile hospital room for the remainder of their days. Two problems: One; my parents can't be trusted in the same building alone, and Two; I don't know if I'd have the money to buy them an apartment each when they retire. My dad already signed away most of his social security pension for the sake of me and my brother when I was a kid, so he's not coming into much money when he quits his job and my mom doesn't exactly plan on leaving her position until, oh, eighty. I'll get my dad a place in the deep south, shore front with a boat fully equipped with deep sea fishing gear and a cooler for all his beer. Full GPS navigation system and a captain's chair that rivals the Star Ship Enterprise. Fuck yeah, baby.
Alzheimer's disease is a real bitch, now we live to 90, but can't remember where we live. Pre-treat your parents for Alzheimer's by getting them stoned frequently. That's really taking care of your parents.
Well my folks always tell me to just stick em in a home, they'd rather make new friends and it'll be easier on me if they go barmy. I just grin and say 'we'll see, mum'
it would be sad if any one of us turns our back on our parents. they tolerated us when we were dependant. you should support them when they are. you'd be a man with no conscience to make your parents stay in a old people home. even saying "id LET them stay with me" is a disgrace in itself. if you're a person who'd force his parents out, im pretty sure u'd fuck anyone over when it would suit your needs. your parents deserve better than that. the "comfort" you desire is meaningless compared to the loss you will feel after they move on. sorry mates, i just love my parents. just the thought of some of the above posts disgusts me.
ya bro, i agree. It's kinda like returning the favor for them having to deal with all the crap you gave them as a kid. Although I think taking care of a kid would be much easier than taking care of an incapable adult.
Agreed. Though my parents have pissed me off a lot in the past (all the nagging about chores/schoolwork, etc.), I know they've always done their best to make sure I grow up to be happy and successful, and the LEAST I could do for them is take care of them when they get old. Since I live in a dorm, I've thought about what would happen if I got sick, and how much I'd miss my parents being there to take care of me. However, my grandmother (mother's side) is almost 90, and she's in great shape. She actually lives alone in her house. She works for my dad, and visits often (and I'm sure my mom visits her a lot as well), but she hasn't needed anyone to live with and care for her.
well i don't think a retirement home is that bad if it's a nice place i mean, have any of you seen some of those luxurious retirement places? even a mildy-luxurious place. i'm sure they could socialize more and have better treatment since theres always nurses there and whatever... dunno maybe i am being closed-minded and will change my mind 20 years from now.. the argument that your parents did it for you is kind of stupid, since that is their responsibiltiy as parents... as their children however, i think the responsibility lies in making sure they are just comfortable , not making sure they live with you until they die
Yea but retirement homes, especially the nice ones are very expensive. The staff won't always get along with all the patients, and to ME I'd feel like I was living in a hospital.