Where does one go? When one feels as though he has lost himself When one feels as though there is no where else to go When one feels as though one must start over Where one feels as though he will be accepted, in a place where no one knows him and teach him the value of manhood Where one feels as though he will be understood, and helped in the name of man kind. Where can I go, anywhere in the world, where I can find these things? I am at a loss I feel as though my life is at risk I need a place where I can start over A place where I can be under ones wing, to reteach things about life. Where does one go?
Are those lyrics from a song or is that from the heart? Either way I've had those same types of feelings for the past few months.
If one had the cost No, not lyrics from a song, lyrics from my heart and mind. I am at a loss today, starting a new job yesterday. And as taboo and target practice as this is, saying such on a forum, knowing that its open seasons on such feelings. Not only do I need someone unbiased to talk to, but a place to go. I almost feel as though I should move to asia, a part of Asia willing to train a lost mind, a lost mind loyal to its master, who will be loyal to it in return. It upsets me as an american I cannot attend such places, and yet I hope someone will have an idea to help me. Most of you who know me on this website know I have struggled lately, and this is coming to a crossroads, I will either be saved, or lost, and I want to do what I can to be saved. Local religion has already lost me. This next quote is from a movie; "An angry mind opens his mouth and shuts his eyes" I have mistakenly lived by this, and dont want to anymore, how can I find help?
Sorry to say, but this is a VERY bitchass excuse for not going to college. And trust me, I know, I used it for years. Financial aid works wonders. Yes you will have to pay it back, but it's an investment in your future. They are willing to work with you in more than one way. You just gotta try.
I went to college but thanks. Thanks. I guess i knew I would still be lost, but have no one to talk to, and no where to go. Death, prison, or whats left? Lost in a new country?
I think if you live a full life you will have points where "things seem to no longer work." In my experience, the first place to go is to yourself. Like spend time by yourself just thinking about it. Do other things to and talk to people, but many of your answers will likely be found within. They may be accessed/unlocked through outside forces, but you are the only one who knows what works for you. At least according to me p.s. thanks for the sig quote hope you don't mind me using it
Word, you know its interesting, i have befriended so many people who hate to be alone. But alone is where I am happiest. This gives me time to reflect, and be secure. Although maybe thats not the best thing. I dont know. No, with lack of promise to repay financial aid, I decided to try to better myself, and not loans.
And what may I ask did you do (besides college) to try to better yourself? (Sorry if I'm coming off as an asshole, I'm just playing devils advocate here...trying to help.)
When I was 19, I packed everything in my car that I could and drove to NYC. Had cash for a week or two, then I got a job at Blue Fin on Broadway and rented a loft with 5 strangers in Queens, I found their ad on CraigsList, lol. I discovered a lot about myself in that time man. Went up with nothing and was on my own two feet in a couple of weeks. So if your not tied down to anything, might I offer up a road trip?
go camping in the middle of nowhere preferably on a mountain with a great view in a stat e park or something. be among nature for like a week and truly discover yourself.
Well not that this will help, but you name it. I am a dabbler of all trades. College, work, relationships, nothing, and I mean nothing ends up permanent. Things end in tragedy for my life, and feel the need to express myself in permanent ways. Word, I appreciate your idea. I grew up in st louis missouri. East st louis to be exact, i was one of only a handful of white people to go to an all black high school. I barely graduated, having run ins with the law, and lack of intelligence, I had to work my ass off to get my diploma. Somehow I made it to college, but realized my area was not conducive to my life, and moved to the west coast. The school I decided to attend was misrepresented by my investors, and was forced to drop out due to teacher pressure and asking me to leave class for "not getting it" I have done this many a times, mostly when I was young. Was so nice to get away, with or without company to get in touch with nature. Unfortunately I now live in a state where a vehicle is a must for such a journey, which I no longer have.
You seriously need to get out into the wilderness, this sounds like urban alienation to me, I'm sure it's more complex than that but seriously, I agree that a camping trip would help, take the bare essentials and just sleep next to a fire for warmth. You say you want to be somewhere where no one know you, I find that in the modern world and the graceless urban environment it's easy to overlook the fact that sometimes it's natural and desirable to actually be in a place where there isn't anybody to 'know you'. Just get out into the woods and be an animal for a while, it can be an amazingly grounding experience to live for a few weeks or even months as something less complicated than a modern human, interacting with the world that made you rather than the world we have made. I know these feelings you're describing and I can't impress upon you how much I think a solitary camping trip would help you to catch your head. I would recommend a hennessy hammock depending on where you are located because they are comfortable, lightweight and you can see the sky above you if there's no rain. http://hennessyhammock.com/ Good luck brother.
Besides college, I personally wouldn't classify any of those other things you listed as things that would better a person. Don't get me wrong, a girlfriend and a job are great things to have, but they don't really better you. Without graduating college the work you do is more than likely dead end. So that would make a person feel like they're going no where. And finding a good girlfriend is definitely a hard thing to do, but not impossible. It's gonna take time and effort. And it's not something that you can just go out and "get". It's gotta find you....which is the work of time. But if I were you, I would start thinking long and hard about all of the things that are good in your life. You obvioulsy have a roof over your head, some where warm to sleep, and food on the table. Those things along are things some people would kill for. So you're already better off than some people, so that's a plus right? I'd think so. You just need to think positive and keep your head up. Figure out what YOU want out of life and make a gameplan to make it happen. Write it on paper and hang it some where that you will look at it daily. Personally I would go the college route and get into something that actually satisfies YOU and not anyone else. Afterall it's your future. Make a some new friends, get a nice job, and become what you want in life. You're the one holding the reins, so take charge and don't get down on yourself. Best of luck with whatever way you decide to go!!
Just sell your things, and start roaming around. (Provided you don't have a kid or any other thing that's gonna shackle you to where you're at.) Its incredibly freeing for the soul. Hitch hike, hike a few trails in which you don't know where you're going to end at. Buy a plane ticket somewhere you've never been. It sounds hard, but so easy to do.