When I got bored at work.

I worked in a big clothing store. I used to get really bored.

One day I decided to play a little game. The night before I had gotten stoned and ate a whole pizza so I woke up with terrible gas.

Well, I worked in the suits department and I had my own little dressing room. People used to wander over to it from other departments because they would miss the dressing room closest to them, and my dressing room was clearly labeled.

Sooo I decided to play a little game. I would go off in the distance and pretend to be a customer or just an employee fixing ties and act like I wasn't paying attention, but really I was scoping out the scene for people to go into the dressing room.

I was getting bored and frustrated because no one was coming and my stomach hurt from holding in my gas. Finally a middle aged man wondered in to the dressing room without even noticing me (I was about 30 feet away). I ran up to the dressing room entrance, turned around, stuck my ass out and let out literally the loudest fart I've had in months and months!


I was so proud of myself! I scurried away trying to keep my laughing as quiet as possible but I was in tears. He came out looking around all suspicious but I just kept my head down and kept fixing ties.


This other time I was kind of hiding in the socks department (right next to my suits dept) and I was waiting for someone to walk by. Well a lady and her little daughter walked by and once they got past me I ripped one! I'm all ducking down holding in my laughter and shit cause I know they heard me, I turn around to retreat and there is an old lady like 5 feet away from me browsing the socks! I seriously could not hold it in I just BUSTED OUT LAUGHING and scurried away!

So yeah, my game was to fart as loud as possible near people without them seeing me. Whether it be them going into the dressing room and me running up to the door and farting then running away, or catching them as they walked past me and hiding behind a shelf.

So immature but that shit was fun.