This is freaking me out. I turn 20 in August and I keep thinking to myself how I'm not gonna be a teenager anymore. It depresses me
yea, it can be kind of depressing, but then i look at my dad, who is still completely a kid (while still a responsible and respectable citizen) and i realize that i'll always be a kid at heart its a rough revelation to go through though, at least for me.
True, but your teenage years are your best (atleast mine were). It's like that very, very good part of your life is over and a new chapter is about to begin, though I guess that could be a good thing too.
It hits me heavy whenever I am standing next to some little kid and am literally towering over them, thinking damn imagine when I was that short!! Or driving past kids that can't even drive they are so young. But mostly when I was tripping really hard and realizing a lot, one thing being that I'm not a kid anymore.
well see, at first I thought it was a little bit after I had been working construction and going to night school and living on my own. But then about the time some of my friends graduated highschool, and shit started to change like hanging out less, not really doing much partying anymore, and people moving away it really hit me. Its a shitty feeling, being grown up. Regular people seem so angry and on edge now days. I dont want to end up like that, already seems like Im on the path though.
3 months ago when i moved out so my parents could get a smaller place that they could afford. When the engine in my truck blew right after moving out leaving me without a car and very little cash. When my credit card caught up with me. When I realized i didnt have enough cash for summer college classes ruining my plans for the winter. Basically within the last few months, or every time I watch kids having a blast without a single hint of money, a dirt hill gets them going for hours.
That's a really difficult question; what makes a kid a kid? I'm still entirely dependent on my parents. I've had jobs but nothing that even comes close to paying for tuition/housing; they pay for it. In that sense I still feel like a kid... It's a very lucky thing to get a free ride when other people don't have the opportunity, but at the same time it can be kind of emasculating. In general, though, I don't think I ever crossed a line where I thought, wow before I was a kid but now I'm an adult. Each day I'm going to learn some new truth about the universe, no matter how minor. So if ignorance or illusion is what it means to be a kid I'm in a perpetual state of growing out of that. But as far as being a kid in the sense of constantly being in wonder of the world, appreciating every day, that's a constant struggle. It's not that 'adults' don't have the ability to be amazed at the world and be thankful for life, it's just they've become jaded. And it's not like they don't have an excuse; adults wade through shit so often, from bills to ungrateful bratty kids to piece-of-shit jobs. I think they just begin seeing the whole world as shitty and they forget what it once was to them - what it still could be. If you have kids that's one thing; when you're the cause of a life being on the planet your priorities need to revolve around its well being, but if you're without such obligations you should never feel like you're no longer a kid, as if you've gone over some line in the sand. Being a kid is a state of mind and just because we're less ignorant to the suffering and the injustices in the world doesn't mean we can't stand in awe of the beautiful things like we did when we were 8.
knocked a guy out playing hockey knocked him out clean and cold. [i was too young to be knocking people unconscious. it wasn't intended or entirely understood at the time. i'd say i was just entering my teens, maybe twelve or thirteen. the guy i hit was a year or two older than i was, probably a freshman in high school.] he was fucked up for weeks [brain injury is for keeps] it bothered the shit out of me and i knew i wasnt a kid anymore physically. in my mind i still wish i was nine