What's your biggest secret?

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by smoky14, Sep 29, 2010.

  1. I'm a software engineer. I designed a computer program to rip my company off of money by rounding all the fractions of a penny down and depositing them into my own account. I wasn't going to implement the program but when my friend and coworker told me that I was going to be fired that set something off in me. Unfortunately the program backfired and took more money than I had thought. My friend decided to take the blame for it and left all the money we stole in traveler's checks along with a confession in our boss's office but somehow the whole building burnt down that day and we all got away with it. I got a new joh at a competing software company but my friend was sick of that work so he started working construction.

    Also, my name is the same name as a famous singer...
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  2. I....killed....Mufasa!
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  3. I'm in therapy
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  4. Say Hi from us.
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  5. Nope
  6. When I was seventeen I went deer hunting with my friend. We walked into an opening and blew on the call. Like 5 minutes later my friend goes "holy shit there's a big buck" He then repeatedly told me to shoot it. I couldn't see it from my angle but as soon as i saw it walk through an opening in the brush i shot it. It ran off and we couldn't find any blood. I said I would come back the next morning and look because it was getting dark. So the next day I go out to look for it and as I'm walking through the woods i see the back of a dead deer from a distance. I got super happy and ran up to it expecting some nice antlers on it. IT WAS A FUCKING DOE. And to make it worse I full force stabbed my self in my led with my hunting knife trying to gut it. It barely bled at all but I put a paper towel on it with a belt. Then I dragged the thing to my truck and drove home. On my way home my cousin texts me asking if i saw anything out hunting. I told him just one doe. He jokingly replied with well is it in the freezer yet? As it was illegal to shoot does in this area. As soon as I got home I stuck this plastic syringe thing full of warm water into my stab wound to wash it. Then I proceeded to give myself 3 stitches with no anesthetic. After that, I skinned and butchered the deer and put it in the freezer. To this day I have never told this story. I told my friend that I missed it and my dad was out of town. I later found out that my friend had really bad eyesight but refused to wear glasses. And the wound healed fine.
  7. Im Canadian and hockey is boring as shit.

    We recently had a gigantic arena built here called "Rogers Place"... Basically, our city subsidized a billionaire to build it and now said billionaire has made a deal with the city where they get a reduced amount of taxes from the Arena, splitting it with him, to the point where the arena is barely profitable.

    The area around Rogers Place is called "Ice District" and since Rogers Place has become operational, this part of town has had a surge of hard drugs through it... Ironically the name of the drug is in the district. In response to this, our cities police has had to crack down majorly on all the crime going on around this area and as a result, much of the crime has been funneled to a pretty notorious strip called 'Jasper Avenue'. Jasper Avenue used to be OK, but now it is basically flooded with homeless people and high people... Like literally Jasper Avenue spans several blocks, at least 10 and for these 10 blocks you cannot find a public bathroom, because all the junkies use the public bathrooms to do drug deals and shit and get high, to the point where they have had to close off access to all public bathrooms other than Tim Hortons.

    My other secret is I used to be involved in a lot of shady shit in my past, nothing crazy, but shady enough to know how the game works... These shady people, they often end up being familiar faces to the police and eventually, it gets to the point where these people either get warrants for their arrest or become so familiar to the police that they really cant do anything to make any money, most of which is illegal and so they end up fleeing our city and hiding in the rural communities. Our rural crime is higher than it has ever been, ever. I believe this is in large part, because of Rogers Place and the fact that the police presence becomes so much around that area that these shady people can no longer do their dirt and are forced to migrate to areas of the city where they are forced to compete with other criminal outfits.

    All this fucking bullshit, ripples from some barely profitable arena that could potentially not be profitable at all when you consider the amount of additional policing required around this area... All for Hockey. I do not understand.
  8. It's OK. It's part of the therapy.
  9. I'm afraid of turning into my mother.
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  10. If you haven't taken her face yet, there's still time to turn this around. What's the situation, captured, sedated?
    ...I kid...I understand.
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  11. I don’t find memes funny anymore
  12. I have health problems but don’t tell anyone and look healthy maybe but just keep it to myself
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  13. The Michael Bolton?!
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  14. Michael Jackson, is that you?
  15. Biggest secret I have this week is that I'm not sure how much longer I can act like I'm doing okay and that worries me.
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  16. You're stronger than you know. Even if you can't act like you're okay that's okay. You're gonna make it through. I believe in you.
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  17. I suppose you can be thankful you didn't kill a person. Must feel good to get that off your chest. I'm glad you at least harvested it and ate it.
  18. I had a terrible curse cast upon me that turned me into a hideous beast and the only way it could be reversed was to find true love before the last petal wilted from an enchanted flower in my castle. Well, the flower has started to wilt and I still haven't had any luck. I'm worried that I'm going to be stuck this way forever, alone in my castle...
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  19. I am the Irishman.
  20. Fair enough, so am I

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