Pissed the bed, woke up in the back seat of my car naked, throwing up in the middle of the night without knowing, waking up on kitchen floors, trashing houses, shooting guns while drinking whiskey, .......well you get the point.
Went car hopping on a line of police cars dealing with an assault outside a bar. Lets just say i awoke in a small room that smelt heavily of piss.
Totaled a car. Pushed my girlfriend. In my defense she was grabbing at my chest and coming at me. I shoved her way to hard and she went face first into the counter. Never seen such a black eye in my life.
Convinced my gullible friend that this girl he kind of likes got kidnapped and raped at a party. We kept it up for an hour and eventually he called her saying " I heard what happened, I'm so sorry . If you need to talk just let me know and I'm here for you." she was just like what the fuck and he got embarrassed and hung up. It was funny as shit at the time cuz we kept cracking rape jokes about her and he was so pissed.
Spitting in a girl's face (you know when you don't articulate properly kind of spitting, not "spitting spitting") while saying "Your school is shit!" even though I didn't know what school she was talking about, and even though she was my friend's girlfriend
Had sex with my old roommate. It was strange because I had just moved in and met her a few days before. It was also strange because she was sober and I wasn't and she made the first move . It was just weird because I remember thinking "well, shit's about to get really awkward between us and we live together. Fuck" It wasn't awkward until a few weeks later when sketchy shit sorta happened, and we sorta started to fucking hate eachother. Then it was awkward that we ever did anything at all haha
I blacked out and ended up pissing in my dad's brand-new popcorn machine at 2 A.M. And for some reasons decided,"I should probably pop this." Put kernels in it, and turned that bitch on. The entire house smelled like burnt piss for my graduation dinner the next night. Most awkward family dinner ever.
I got caught hooking up with some chick in the parents of the guy whose house we were partying at. Oh yeah, and that chick was that dude's girlfriend. Good thing I puked all over him when he tried to confront me, or else he probably would have beaten the shit out of me. I had downed almost a whole 5th of Vodka and I was a Junior in HS.
Held a girls hair back while she puked, then fucked her like 20 minutes later, bareback because I couldnt get the condom on in the dark haha. Luckily I was just as drunk as her and couldnt even get it up little lone climax, I just kind of folded it in and moved around for a while. Yes she was awake and consenting before you ask. Just kind of weird fucking someone you know was puking like 20 minutes before.
gf told me i whipped my dick out and started pissing right on the kitchen floor while her and her friends were just sitting there shocked..i didnt know they were there,hell i thought i was in the bathroom