Whats The Most Pathetic Lie Youve Ever Told To Get Laid?

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Chinajewelry, Jun 19, 2013.

  1. #41 Jammin Greenz, Jun 21, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 22, 2013
    "I had sex with two girls." Prior to having sexual Intercourse ever.
     
  2. Seriously hahahaha
     
  3. Lol i got checked in november. Only had unprotected sex with 2 girls since. They were both my girlfriends. And this problem showed up after i got outta jail. Not a lot of quality dick lotion in jail.

    So yea it could be something. But its most likely actually dry skin. And if not... The girl shouldnt have fucked me.

     
  4. In australia..some sexy tourists from Germany.
     
    Of course her being European she just had to bring up American policy and shit..she asked what I did in the military and I told her I was a corpsmen and i've done a lot of humanitarian work on the USNS Mercy. My actual job was bomb assembly at that time lol.
     
    Needless to say me and my boy both fucked her and her friend at their hotel and they drove us around...
     
    We should've just stuck with the locals women...Aussies aren't stuck up like some europeans.
     
  5. #45 Jerzeslugga, Jun 22, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 22, 2013
    Actually on second though I misread the title...
     
    'PATHETIC'
     
    Yea..my ex..tmet her on craiglist...told her I planned on staying in the military and wanted kids,and had a car after I respeonded to her ad...needless to say it worked.
     
  6.  
    yeah and you lying about being on BC is different? having a child is basically equivalent to getting an std in my book lol. except a kid usually costs more
     
  7. it was a joke but yeah let's go there. hmmm there's a HUGE difference. because for one, by the very slim chance that i do get pregnant, that responsibility becomes 100% mine. We all know the guy can run off and he probably will. Chances are, I won't be getting pregnant. but you can't abort an std. you can't avoid an std by cumming in my mouth. that "dry skin" on his dick is most likely herpes. and unprotected contact pretty much guarantees you will contract it. it's like if you stick your hand in a fire pit, you will get burned. do you know how often people fuck and the girl doesn't get pregnant? i mean blah blah it only takes one time. but i know my cycle. i know when i'm fertile. i know when to avoid sex. i could easily not get pregnant from unprotected sex.
     
    man you can feel how you want about it
    but i'd much rather have a baby than herpes
     
  8. What's the difference? Once you have it, it will most likely be their the rest of your life lol
     
  9. #49 MariaJuana92, Jun 22, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 22, 2013
    herpes is nothing but a disgusting disease that will cause you discomfort, and will never leave
    a child is a human being, with meaning and purpose, who probably won't make me itch like crazy
    yes, a child is a lot of work(who said i was keeping it? lol) but i'd still rather have a kid than herpes
    like idk if there's that many people out there who would rather have herpes that's just disgusting
    plus after so many years, my child could learn to be independent and get out of my hair
    herpes is for LIFE man
    you can't abort it
    you can't adopt it
    you can't take the morning after pill to prevent it
    you're just so much more fucked getting herpes, than having unprotected sex one time and taking a minimal risk at getting knocked up
     
    edit: you can't kick it out
    you can't send it off to college
     
    sure, it's cheaper
    but i'll pay the price for not having itchy blisters on my beautifully perfect pussy
     
  10. The BEST and only lie..........I love you.
     
     
    Terrible thing to say but it will get you laid
     
  11. Lmao. First of all i went to the clinic today. Guess what? Too much soap dried me out. Doctor said to use only water. And use some vitamin e oil capsules. So are you sure about my herpes? I still could have herpes. But the dry skin isnt it. And i have no other symptoms

    second of all i would rather have herpes then a kid. Even if the dude runs off (no decent dude will do that) he will still be paying out the ass for child support. Kids cost waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more then a little herpes. Plus ill be stuck around a girl who trapped me with a kid for the rest of my life.

    Neither of those things are okay to lie about.

    Difference is i lied to my gf about it... And i wasnt even lying i just wasnt sure.

    What you are doing is much more gross. And way worse.





     
  12. You keep having unprotected sex it wont be long before.that pussy is growing warts.
     
  13. Ewww. Sad but true.
     
  14. I didn't have sex with your sister
     
  15. <sup>I'm not even going around saying that to guys. It was a joke! I was trying to think of something a girl would commonly lie about. I see no reason to lie about that. Like with the guy I've been dating, he asked me where I want him to cum. And I told him, "I'm not on birth control, so you can cum wherever you want. I don't mind in it inside of me, but that's up to you." And he came inside me. He knew what risk he was taking. So it's no sweat off my back right now. </sup>
     
  16. #56 Kennith Powers, Jun 23, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 23, 2013
    I asked what she wanted for breakfast in the mourning, and well I left early to get home
     
  17. lmao. that's funny.
     
    here's a real one:
     
    I won't tell anyone.(I did)
     
  18. The only one i can think of is telling a girl i'm into her much more than i really am. Makes me feel bad if they actually develope feelings though.
     
  19. I have told a couple girls I was a virgin to relose my virginity a couple times.  I know it was a shitty tactic but it worked.  
     
  20. Yeah, thats not chloroform. Its a vape, wanna try it?

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