What's some weird shit you do?

If i'm sleeping by myself i have to make up an imaginary girl to sleep with me, i pretend to spoon her and hold her.

 

I type out all my posts on my iPhone using my penis head instead of my thumbs

 

That's fucked lol

 

I tend to luxuriate in masturbating with wax and toothpaste while wearing an elephant's mask and singing on a melancholy hill with a lisp.

 

My sister does this except she uses a goat mask instead.

 

First time I jerked off was with Colgate. What a fucking mistake.