Hey guys, I am just really down in the dumps right now. Whats everyone up to? I just really need to talk with some people right now to get my mind off life. so help me out blades, Come here to chill and talk. Right now, I am just watching it's always sunny in Philadelphia. Trying to slow down my racing mind and concentrate. Smoked a bowl, it kind of helped, but not so much. What are you doing now blades?
Nice, Nice. Always a great a feeling when you grabbed a fresh bag. I grabbed a little earlier also. I am about to pack another bowl. Thinking of looking for a funny movie. I really need to laugh. Time to search netflix!
Well, I am away from home, finishing up school and I am fucking it up I really am. I love being home and would much rather be home. Yet I can't just stop this far in and throw it all away and go home. I honestly always had minor anxiety growing up, and it went away for years, and now it has come back on full effect along with this random feeling of being unmotivated (not the weed, even when I am completely sober). Then I feel guilty for not doing something I should of, and then instead of finally doing it I continue to just build myself into a bigger hole by letting more things add up. Then it repeats. I feel myself getting to that point. I am not there yet, and I can still fix things, but actually doing it is why I am so worried. Why cant I just fucking do what I have to and what I should do like everyone else? Fuck, I feel like I should be capable and I know I am capable. I just need to get through this shit and push on and not fuck everything up. Thats why I am stressing. I know I am jumping the line by saying fucking everything up, but thats how I feel currently... I realize my problems could be much worse, but this is a big deal to me ( finishing school and hopefully getting a good job after) and I invested way too much money. Not just me, but my family also. Also, my sister was able to do it with ease. She was able to party and go out every night and still pull good grades and then got a good job when she finished. So then I think, if she can do it why cant I? fuck, im ranting now. I just have a lot on my plate, and a lot on my mind, and its all crashing down on me man. I really hope I can get my shit together and not fuck up everything I did up to this point.
I dropped out of school and my family was really disappointed. So I went back to school and ended up dropping out again. If I could go back and do it all over, I think I'd have stuck it out and finished. You've got to do what makes you happy, man. But first and foremost, take care of your health. For everything else, as the saying goes, this too shall pass. Keep your head up, mate. Easier said than done, but if life wasn't a bitch, I'm not sure what it'd be.
Sounds like you need to find a lone hill, sit there for hours thinking about YOU. For me, I HAD to go though rock bottom and grovel my way to where I'm at now. At 18, joined military and got kicked out for paperwork misinformation (unnoticeable discharge), came home and had no where to live (parents say at 18 you're an adult, live like one, no joke) and was instantly homeless. Mind you my father makes upwards of 250-300k annual. Not even a bad relationship, as he said 'me helping you now, will hurt you later'. So I lived on the streets near plazas to beg/steal. But I'm not a beggar, really it was hard. Instead I fucking took people's recyclables from their colored bins on trashday and hauled em to the ralphs for money, saved for $500 POS and slowly cleaned up, got jobs doing dirty lifting etc. Paid $1500 for trade school (sushi chef was easiest for me as I helped my father gut his catches from spearfishing) and went through hell being a sushi helper and after about 6 years I rent a 5 bedroom house with GF in a gated community. But seriously 5-6 years ago I thought I'd be a bum (street urchin, saw that you watch SUNNY). You have to set some sort of goal.
Appreciate the kind words brother...going to try my best to get out of this slump I have put myself in.
your prescribing yourself for failure man. i used to do it too, and still sometimes do, but since i got over it i can now notice it and tell myself itll go away. you need to go into things thinking that you can do them remember, even sucking at something is the first step toward being sort of good at it
Damn that is admirable. Anyways OP, just stick with it! Easier said then done but don't stress. Take things one step at a time. In turn you will be able to tackle your problems much easier with less stress. Good luck! and everybody have a wonderful day! =)
Thank you for this. Honestly, your story is quite inspirational. Thats awesome you said fuck you to the shitty cards you were given and you turned your life around. All I want is a nice place to call my own and to not worry about when my next paycheck is. It seems like you achieved that from nothing. And to top it off you can probably make some damn good sushi. Thanks again dude for telling me that. It really gives me hope. I too would love to live in a place of my home, close to my family (gotta finish school first ofcourse!). and hopefully down the line ill meet a lovely lady to share a home with
For me, happiness is knowing I can miss the next few checks and still pay the bills. THAT's what my goal was, I was tired of living off a paycheck and counting my money before the next check was even in my hands, no way to live blades.
I realize man, but its hard to change my thought process. I am trying to get over my problems, but sometimes I think to myself that it would be easier, to just not do it and the I feel worse after the fact. I know that is what I have to change, but for me it's friggin difficult. I am going to try my best though and hopefully I will succeed and come out on top.
We share the same goal man. I just hope to achieve it also as you did. I know I am capable also. Just From the accomplishments I achieved growing up which were important to me, I know I am capable of finishing school, and getting a job. I really really hope I can do this man. I say that to myself all the time but this past month, I have really let my classes slip and I have to do something about it before I jump ahead.
[quote name='"AR Toasty"']I dropped out of school and my family was really disappointed. So I went back to school and ended up dropping out again. If I could go back and do it all over, I think I'd have stuck it out and finished. You've got to do what makes you happy, man. But first and foremost, take care of your health. For everything else, as the saying goes, this too shall pass. Keep your head up, mate. Easier said than done, but if life wasn't a bitch, I'm not sure what it'd be.[/quote] you know what you're talking about. respect