What would you do during a zombie outbreak?!?

Well I know for sure bud would be one of my last priorities. Slowed reaction time, most likely all forms of entertainment would be down (electricity and Internet), it'd make me want to eat more of what would be essential supplies at the time. Not to mention it'd reduce my cardiac capacity to run away from zombies.

I'd probably find someone with an ability to get guns since I'm Australia.

The outbreak probably wouldn't start here since we're so isolated, we'd have extra time to prepare so I'd get heaps of tinned food and find a good place to make into a fort. Maybe also look into getting a boat (with fishing rods of course, anyone remember dawn of the dead?).

 

Whatever I did i'd make sure that i'd still be able to masturbate around 4 times a day.


Find weapons + supplies - zombie movies (for educational purposes of course), and a real sturdy place. Maybe try and isolate my area around my house, gather a team of people and build some strong walls or shit. Have motherfuckers on lookout n sheit.

 

I would get bud, i don't care how it slows me down or whatever but if I zombie outbreak happens I'm going to see some really fucked up shit and I'm gonna need all the medicine i can get. Hopefully I hear about it as quick as possible, I would take my family and friends and all the guns I have and break into the nearest supermarket stock up and travel as far out into the country as possible.

 

Im actually kind of lucky to own an extremely isolated piece of property in the Blue Ridge Mountain range (its a 3 story house literally on top of a mountain)

I would get the hell outta Asheville, too many people here for anyone to be safe, and head out there.

Well water, backup gas powered generator, high ground+ destroyable/blockable access= not a bad spot to hole up.

The general plan would be to get a bunch of people who could contribute something to the group, grab guns and tons of ammo, gas, canned goods, protein powders etc. and get up there ASAP. Set up patrol on the perimeter of the property, make sure cattle are corraled (thats a LOT of meat), and work on getting a garden started in a greenhouse.

Bud would be an eventual neccesity, if only to help deal with the stress and other problems of being generally isolated in a post apocalyptic scenario.

The traditional zombie "apocalypse" wouldn't be a permanent thing, as dead bodies decompose pretty quickly without any method of preservation. In more extreme climates, bodies could potentially "freeze" or "dry out" delaying decomposition time, but in general, I imagine the whole ordeal would be over in a couple of years to a decade.

Then it would be up to the survivors to have plenty of stoned, kinky sex in order to repopulate the planet. I could well imagine a kind of breeding program being initiated in order to preserve genetic diversity after it is all over.

 

I Get in my truck and Drive around shooting at zombies. Then After a certain amount of time has past I would try to go to the military base for rocket launchers,and tanks. LOL. Of course im picturing this as a fun type of zombie break. The only positive thing that is gauranteed is that zombies will starve and Die(permanently) eventually.

 

Seriously, I would sit at home smoking bud and watching our well armed and trained professional army put it down while one of the 24 hour news channels showed highlights and provided color commentary.

7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly) | Cracked.com

 

Id smoke weed in my basement and wait for the military to kill all the zombies.

 

I'd prepare a huge fucking plot of weed, because resources would be going to kill the zombies, I'll harvest $100000 worth of bud

 

Wait.

 

id strap up and live out my dreams of being part of resident evil

 

Gonna go to the Winchester.

 

[quote name='"Mikayote"']Seriously, I would sit at home smoking bud and watching our well armed and trained professional army put it down while one of the 24 hour news channels showed highlights and provided color commentary.

7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly) | Cracked.com[/quote]

So very true

 

I have a plan way too long to type.

Way too secret too.

 

Hopefully not get eaten..and appear as helpful as I can to my fellow human..nothing like good people

 

kill everything...everything

Haha JK i'd have to illegally purchase a weapon of some sort, but most likely i'd find a sword. I'd have to escape campus and that would be tough if zombies were everywhere! holy shit balls dude i'd say i would have a 4/10 chance of surviving to the weapon and then a 7/10 to get out of the city ratio that shit out that's like 3.5/10 chance of survival fuck.

 

I would get a suit of chain mail..... which will protect you from bites pretty well

 

id throw all the nonparishable food we've got about a weeks worth into a bag, grab the case of bottled water we always have, strap on my knife, grab my baseball bat and a punchall for stealing gas, get in my car and head north towards canada..

at any givin time ive got around a half gallon in my tank thatll get me a few towns north where its less populated, so ill stop there briefly or hopefully between towns there'll be some random parked cars to punch a hole in their gas tank and fill up my gas can that's always in my car and also my tank hopefully if theres no one/ nothing around...

then ill keep heading north that amount of gas should get me to canada if i get out in time although more likely the roads will be jammed.. luckily its pretty flat around here and ive got a 4x4 suv so i can drive offroad parallel to the roads if i have to

so i drive nonstop into the canadian wilderness, stopping opportunistically to steal gas two or three times along the way.. also finding a gun and ammo will be a high priority, so ill be stopping along the way to try and find one although ill be quick to get in my car and go if the area is hot at all

once i get deep into the wilderness ill put my survival skills to work foraging and trapping... if i get the opportunity ill steal some grow equipment and setup a greenhouse i wanna be so north that theres no one around too cold for crops... but i could take or leave that i could just go hunter gatherer for like a year...

after a year or so maybe less it should have calmed down abit, so when im able ill head for the coast, get a boat, and head south... ill stop along the way for supplies, with the eventual goal in mind of having a fortified offshore base, thats fully self sufficient growing crops and desalinating water... safe from zombies or other human groups and mobile

from there i'll begin planning my eventual takeover of the immediate and surrounding inland area of my choosing. ill grow my numbers by providing food water and safety, coordinate scavenging missions, and when i have enough guns and people, ill organize a landing party, who will clear secure and fortify an area, which will become a port city, from which more land can be secured, which means crops, which means people, which means more expansion... obviously i wont be the only one doing this, there will be rivals, ill try to absorb them into my empire through diplomacy, but if they refuse i wont hesitate to eliminate threats.. if a fortified enemy city needs to go, i can have a team go out at night, attract a horde of undead, lead them to the city, and use explosives to blast a hole in their wall

ill have trucks stationed ready to pickup fleeing residents of the rival city, at which point they would become my subjects in exchange for safety... and on it would go until i ruled the world

 

Hit my dealers place and get as much as I could on credit.

 

According to the Hatians, if a zombie eats salt, they will remember who they are and return either to their grave or former home. Either one is acceptable to me! So a super-soaker full of salty water would be a great weapon. Just aim for that gaping mouth!


Granny