What was your best fart?

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by cigarjack, Sep 15, 2019.

  1. My elevator stories are too embarrassing
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  2. The heck we don’t lol. Or maybe I’m just not a lady .
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  3. I've been told ladies don't fart, they fluff.
  4. I’ve heard that too..I call bullshit! Lol
    Foooofwahhhh maybe..
    When my youngest was about two she had a shart, bless her heart she was so upset and with her cute little toddler speech impediment cried ‘oh no mommy, I think I just made a slawbowee fawt!’ (Slobbery fart).
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  5. Long as they're dry, I'm cool.

    Visited a friend one time, this evil smell came across the room, I did not know who cut it, friend howled at his wife, Dammit, you ate a hard boiled egg!! She grinned like the cat that ate the canary. We had to go outside.
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  6. Still a work in progress ...
  7. Buried 2 wives so far I’m cursed
  8. Is this where the stereotype comes from?

  9. What a good thread!

    Hello well first of all I really don't try to fart like I'm so private I'll hold it in all day until I get home. But 3 def. come to mind:

    1. I was in high school. I get really hungry so I have to eat something before lunch in the cafeteria they sell these chocolate muffins that're pretty much fluff and full of air so that day I ate one as usual during 1st period. While I was walking from 3rd-4th I had to let out a fart so bad but I was afraid it was so cold that the hot air and people would notice. I let it out anyway and my stomach felt so good I just walked across the courtyard super slow to hopefully air it out to my History class and bravely walked to my seat. I didn't think anyone could smell it.

    2. I had to fart the whole day at school during HS, so I just held it in until I got in the front door and once I shut the door behind me I let out the longest fart ever that lasted about an exact minute. It didn't smell at all.

    3. I was in a hospital dorm and in my room, eating a kimchi ramen noodle bowl. Once I finished it, I had to fart so bad. I just said f it and let it go. It smelled so bad, like, like nasty. A sec. later someone, this kid goes inside my room and is talking to me. The whole time neither one of us say anything about the smell but it was obv. me and I didn't give a duck.
  10. Farts after sardines are some motherfuckers.
  11. 2 heads of roasted garlic... let one fly. 1/2 hr later another service rep says "ill be right back , going to get the person that did that " I was a proud papa
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  12. my favorite are the nights after drinking heavily after a cup of coffee at work... so thick you can taste them.
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