What was your best fart?

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by cigarjack, Sep 15, 2019.

  1. I'll start. Just as I got to work one morning I let one rip in the car. It sat in the hot sun all day and baked. 9 hours later when I opened the car door to go home, there it was waiting for me.
     
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  2. Cars aren't air tight. You sure you didnt just shart, some leaking out your clothes and into the seat?
     
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  3. Farted in a dorm, the fart... ran laps around the room... went away and came back, went away then came back
     
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  4. Ohhhh one time I farted on the bus after school, and one of my friends swore he smelled KFC
     
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  5. One time I was super constipated so sharting wasn't possible, and I ripped the longest fart in human history. I really played up the aperture, hitting those high notes. It was epic.
     
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  6. A friend at work left at lunch to pick up his brand new pick-up. When he came back he was showing it off so I got in. Instantly the urge hit me so I let it rip. The new car smell was gone.
     
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  7. Eggs/beer farts rule , if you want really gross farts you need to study , eat and drinks the right foods like Chile
     
  8. I don't fart and tell, but I'll tell you about the nasty ass fart my husband ripped once. I was sitting in the living room having girl talk with my childhood friend. Hubby comes home, has a 5 min conversation with us then left the room. Not even 2 min later, hubby's walking thru the house and rips the loudest fart lasting about 7 seconds, stops our conversation dead in it's track. This fart immediately let off the nastiest sulphur smell that lingered we had to go sit out on the porch. He swears he forget we had a friend in the living room.
     
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  9. Husbands ftw.
     
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  10. That username. In this thread.
    Tehehe

    Sent from my KING_KONG_3 using Grasscity Forum mobile app
     
  11. I was in the navy about 3 decades ago...

    We had drank boiler makers and ate pizze the night before. Everyone was at the very least hungover and afew were down right sick. Me and my friend Mo were doing laundry and killin our hangover via hair of the dog. As i grabbed clothes and shit i realized a greasy boilermaker n pizza shart was brewing. So i grabbed a towel, farted into the cupped end, then asked Mo "think this needs a wash?" As i smelt of the clean end with my clean hand, i handed the funky end to him. He to a nice big breath, inhaled concentrated ass, and then got ill. I laughed so fuckin hard that if he was well enough he would have easily caught me but i was lucky he was still chokin that greasy shart down. Later he told me that " i actually tasted that fart, tasted it". Good times...
     
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  12. When I farted on a guy at a concert.
     
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  13. @flooyeezy I think u will like this thread beefy lmaoo
     
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  14. Def gotta hit that spot! So sad...
     
  15. #16 tetoleetd, Sep 19, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2019
    back in middle school the class was taking a written exam for PE in the gymnasium. we were all sitting on the floor, which was a basketball court as most gymnasiums are. now if you know anything about basketball courts or basketball in general, you know the sneakers squeak all the time on the hard wooden floor...

    well anyway, during the exam everyone was being very quiet, focusing on their work. all of a sudden i accidentally let out this fart that sounded exactly like the loudest sneaker squeak you have ever heard. it echoed throughout the entire gym.

    the funny thing is, nobody even knew it was a fart because it legitimately sounded like a shoe squeaking on the floor. so here i am laughing my ass off so hard that im crying while everyone is just staring at me like wtf is this guy's problem lol.

    good times.
     
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  16. I have farted a lot of times in my life. None particularly noteworthy that I remember them to this day...
     
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  17. Lol ain’t gunna get a better response than this one.
     
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  18. Sadly it's positive, negative and that mean personality..in which I lack..but you can't really flip it like the Mormonist-system.
     
  19. Cropdusting the aisles at Wal Mart after a huge salad for lunch and taco bell on the way home from work. Left one at the end of the cereal aisle that literally turned people around in their tracks.
    But nothing beats any fart in a submarine where everyone is a captive audience and the air is recycled.
     
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