I have a buddy who I know for 14 years, but it seems that he is only a friend if he needs something. He lies alot to people and uses them for his own good. He owns alot of money to many people in his previous home country. I helped him move to here so he could start a better life by having him at my place for 3-4 weeks ( I live with my parents and sister, apartment). But he never even said thanks to my parents for taking him. He can sometimes be a real douche. Wanna know how douche? For example we were once eating at one restaurant and I was eating pizza, I did not eat the whole pizza slices, but left some of it on the plate (u know the bread part where there isnt much on anymore) and he said that I am being impolite for doing it (oh come on many people wont eat that part of the pizza) , while he even wasnt polite enough to thank my parents. In other words he always sees the mistakes I do, but never sees the mistakes in himself. In previous country he was always broke and I helped him alot multiple times by either smoking him up or lending him some cash if he needed it. Once when he was still living in his previous HC, and I was living in a new one, he invited me over, he promised that we will do alot of fun shit together. Basically I went there, bought 5 grams of weed for the cash I had (5 grams was 80euros, not dank) and we smoked it in one evening with him and also another guy. On the second day I was out of cash and he had also one another friend visiting him and he always acted that day like I did not exist,(because he did not need me) I always had to walk behind him etc, I was out of smokes and I had to ASK him to give me... is that a friend? He is okay if we are alone, but if there is multiple people he can be a real jerk and talk shit about me like in a derisive way. For example we were driving a car and I noticed a car number sign infront of us that said THC (which I thought was pretty cool), and he was like "what else u wont notice?" (in a derisive way). Well anyway today,after he has been living here in another country with me for over a year now (different apartments), I sent him a message that maybe he could hook me up with little bit of bud because I was out and would have loved to smoke just a bit before falling asleep, I was even willing to pay the last 4 euros for it I had. At first he sent me a msg that he doesnt have any right now but if he gets some, he will give me a call, obviously he never called in the next 4 hours and I sent him a message - no response - I even called him and no response - obviously ignoring ? Well what kind of friend is that? I didnt ask for much! It just pisses me so much off, I have never said no to him when he had tough times and needed something and he treats me like shit... its so typical... he always gets so cocky and proud if he is doing well - I dont know what he is missing so much in his life that he has to act like that. Another example is when I sometimes try to ask something, he always says why u have to ask so much, I dont even dare to ask him anything anymore ... and then he wonders why I am so quiet. Well anyways he has birthday coming up on this wednesday and what should I do ? Ignore him ? treat him like he treats me? Because all this sh#t really strains me emotionally and mentally....
Hey man he's not your friend. He's taking advantage of your kindness and always will unless you stand up for yourself. There's plenty of people like that but then again there's nice people like you so u just have to know how to treat people..treat em how he treats you.
aww, I wrote such a long article and no advice? Pretty exciting case if you ask me edit: well he just invited me to hit from his new bong so I dont know.... lol.
Aight. Three ways to handle these kinda things. One way is to just go with it and just keep on going (only do that if you depend on him in some kinda way (connect etc.)). The second way is to tell him what a looser he is when he keeps on disrespecting you in front of other people. Especially good if others are around. He cant get out of the situation too easy in that case and has to react. (A friend of mine sometimes does that, not sure if its on purpose or not, but since Ive told him what an ass he is, he understood that and changed it.) The third way is to just tell him to fuck off and just not have any contact with him. Return the favor of ignoring him and break the relationship up, COMPLETLY. The third way is the way to go if there is just too many cons and only a few pros. A dude from my uni keeps on telling bullshit all the time and I mean ALL the time. He says he has things he doesnt have, stuff about his family that isnt true and exxagerates everything, EVERYTHING. Friends of mine were drinking prepairing for a party and my friend told the others "Aw man did you hear what X said? Thats such bullshit man it cant possibly be true". Well, he heard the whole thing and ever since he stopped talking bullshit in front of them.
Your view of friendship doesn't align with his view. Either stay friends with him despite this, or cut your losses and make friends who ideals are the same as yours.
Op I love the way you told that story it was written very well.and drop your friend he's a selfish asshole.
[quote name='"CKTony"']Your view of friendship doesn't align with his view. Either stay friends with him despite this, or cut your losses and make friends who ideals are the same as yours.[/quote] This. Just because your values around frirndship differ doesn't mean he knows he is being a shitty friend. I'd point out your frustrations and if he doesn't care or change then I'd drop him!
huh remember few posts up I edited how he invited me to smoke from his new bong? (about 3 PM) well it never happened. First he said that he would need to call his other friend so that he could pick him up and go after the stash and then pick me up. Hours went by and finally when it was like 8 PM he calls me and says that hes friend aint picking up the phone. And when he called me he was high and said that he had scraped his pipe and smoked from that a little bit. But this all made me wonder.... what if he never intended to go and smoke with me today and only told that we would go because he was sorry for yesterday being a jerk to me by ignoring me ? Because like 20 mins after he called I went to FB and sent him a funny pic saying this could be us, and he even didnt bother to answer... I wonder why... because he didnt NEED to Anymore? Because he thought that its okay how he acted yesterday and he thought that im fine with it now ? Thats pretty clever actually but really nasty acting on the other hand. Thats the problem , I cant tell whether he is telling the truth or lying but I wouldnt doubt if he is lying and Again treating me like shit? It would have been nice atleast to answer to me on FB... he is so irresponsible and foul
why as us? it's already obvious to you he isn't a good friend. i've had friends like that. my one friend used to ignore me/forget about me all the time. and she'd make it obvious as hell too. like blatantly saying "idgaf about you, its about me"