What to do, what to do.

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by CuT iT OuT, Dec 26, 2008.

  1. My ex-girlfriend and I have been broken up since the beginning of the summer and it ended in probably the worst way possible. When we broke up she jumped out of her second floor window. She fucked up her back bad and her family blamed it on me. It is safe to say that they are not very fond of me. Over the summer I hooked up with quite a few girls over the summer and she never really knew about it. When she did find out, shit hit the fan. We ended up staying apart when I went to college, but my feelings for her never changed. While I was there I decided that no longer did I really just want to hook up with girls meaninglessly, because that is what ruined everything in the first place.

    When I was away we still talked, but I had no idea what was going on while I was away. She continued to tell me she loved me and wanted to be with me, but then I found out that she had been with a few guys while I was away. It killed me because I was having stronger feelings for her then than ever before.

    I was crushed when I heard it and decided I was just going to stop talking to her all together. This was over Thanksgiving break. I kept strong the whole time away, until I came home for Christmas break. Almost everyday she tried to apologize when I was gone, but I was just too hurt from it to try again.

    Finally, I gave in and started talking to her. She wanted to hang out every day, saying that she only wanted to be with me and I was the only one for her. I put it off because I knew as soon as I saw her I would just fall in love all over again.

    Today I finally let her come over my house. We were immediately cuddling like it was the old days. We ended up having a real good heart to heart, followed by some amazing sex. She wants to go back out now and says that she will never hurt me again.

    The only reason I am hesitant is because after break I am going to have to go back to school. I do not want anything to be going on behind my back and she promises it won't happen, but It is just so hard to trust. Things are really turning out to be better than ever, but I do not know if I should give in because I just can't be hurt again.

    What do you think about the situation, GC? :eek:
  2. I wouldn't do it. It'll be all fine at first until she realises how easily she can get away with it and gets a few good offers she second guesses herself on passing up. Once a hoe always a hoe so she's not gonna change, specially with the distance deal. Thats how it was with me and my ex so don't even set yourself up for the failure. If anything wait until you can actually be with her like after school is over and whatnot.
  3. Dude, this is the same situation Im in except im worrying about it right now cause im home on break. (we go to college together, She lives in the town of my college and I live 3 hours from the town(where she is and the college)) So EVerytime in the last year I came home shed be behind back and acting like she didnt wanna talk and just putting me off until I got back to school then she always tries to pretend everything is ok. IM just giving her a few days to come around and act striaght and come visit (shes never came to my house in a year, iv always visited her over break) or im done with herr, ill completly ignore her.

    your in the same situation as me, this is how i plan to handle it in my case. You got any advice for me? haha
  4. The thing is she was always good when we were going out. I blame it on myself, too. She was kind of trying to get back at my for the shit that I did. Now she tells me constantly all she wants to do is try again.

    Headies, if you are getting ignored, you shouldn't even bother. That seems real sketchy. If I was getting ignored that would be the end of it. Good luck bro!
  5. Cut,

    I think you're gonna get hurt, be cool
  6. Damn, you hate to hear that, ha.
  7. what were the circumstances with the original breakup, that will have a strong bearing on how your future will end up
  8. ^^ We just ended it for awhile because I wanted to do my own thing, but that turned out horribly wrong as you can see by the whole window part...
  9. The girl even rolls a great blunt. We blazed two blunts yesterday then got ice cream. You can't give that up! haha
  10. Good things are always hard to give up man, but sometimes you have to. Long distance relationships are always hard. You have to decide what is going to work best for both of you practically as well as emotionally. If you already have trouble trusting then that's something that will always be in the back of your mind. I tend to be the type of guy that will almost never trust, because I've been hurt in the past. So if you really want to avoid being hurt then your probably best to just keep things casual and enjoy your lives separately then if things do work out when your both able to commit to a healthy relationship it'll be all the better.

    Though, if you both feel really strongly about one another and really love each other that's a different story. Just don't really put all your eggs in one basket, because life will always throw you twists and turns and no matter how well prepared for them anything can happen. I'm not one to stand in the way of love, but love is never as absolute as people believe its so often based off a feeling that can is never easy to understand. Also, I find that sometimes the heart tend to grow fonder when your apart, because you think of all the good memories at least I do and then if something does happen it'll be absolutely devastating.

    All I can do, though, is wish you goodluck and hope that you and this girl find something that will work out for both of you.
  11. Dude, all the time you spent and such will make it hard to let her go, but you gotta do it. If she jumped thru a window cause you broke up with her... what the fuck man? I would consider myself lucky for getting out while I still could if I where you. Find another one who's not crazy.
  12. Let some time pass by before you plan your next move. You guys had a lot of really heated moments and I can see that she is a little unstable when it comes to making sound decisions. Make sure she cools off and gets her head on straight before you decide to commit to anything. It would help to know how far away you guys are when you're at school, but I can see that since you don't live at home, it's probably far. This time apart while you're at school may help both of you see what is best for this situation. Personally, I would wait until the summertime to make any decisions and wouldn't want to call her my girlfriend again for at least a few more months.
  13. Thanks for the advice everybody. Things seem to actually be looking good. I don't know I think I will give it a try. I am about two hours away when I'm at school so it isn't that bad.

    I'm just going to try and take it easy and see how things are at the end of my vacation. I am off until January 26th so who knows what could happen.
  14. why not give it a try? you never know -- she might be sincere this time. life is too short to not give something a shot right? both of you guys fucked other people so why is it going to be hard for you to trust her? she might feel the same way. but if you guys are capable of holding a relationship with honesty and trust in it, then im sure you guys will be fine.

    you said so yourself that things were looking good. i hope they stay that way -- and don't let your conscious take over the relationship, whatever you do.
  15. You both hurt each other. It could really go either way. I would say just let things play out and do what you need to do.

  16. That's what I'm saying! I want to at least make an attempt and if it doesn't work then I really know that it really just never will. I think I really can trust her and I know that I won't do anything to fuck this up. Like I said though, if something does go wrong at least I know I tried.

    Thanks Kinkz :eek:
  17. Well, it can turn out to be the biggest mistake of your life or the best thing you'll ever do, but you'll never know until you find out. I have to warn you, if it doesn't work out, it's gonna hurt like a mofo.

    Might as well jump in and not do it half assed. At least then you'll know.
  18. ^^ Well I wouldn't say the biggest mistake of my life. I have a long road ahead of me. There will be much more things to come. I know it will hurt, that's the hardest thing to choke down.
  19. Good luck to you. I said the first part of my last post to my ex boyfriend when we got back together for the THIRD TIME. Before that, we were exes and fwb's. After that, we totally got everything out in the open, did a lot of talking to each other and soul-searching and weighed out decisions. It was a long arduous road. I had to ignore my one principle, the whole "There's a reason he's your ex". The thing is, even though we broke up all those times, deep in my heart, I felt that he was the only one I really wanted. I didn't care that he could shatter me to oblivion, I wanted to find out. Turned out, the third time was the charm and now we'll be celebrating our one year wedding anniversary coming up soon.

    Now I'm not saying my story will be the same as yours, I'm just now a believer in jump in and not do it half assed. If I had left him that third time, I would have been miserable, wondering how he was doing. Now, my husband is like, the most amazing man in the world. I didn't think I could ever feel like this.

    Good luck.
  20. That's a really good story for the situation. A nice flash of hope, thanks :)

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