Alright, so last night I was sitting in my backyard just relaxing and blazing, basically minding my own business. It is around midnight and I was sitting in this chair that is surrounded by gravel that leads all the way up to the road, which is about 25 feet away. I'm probably about three quarters of the way done my second bowl when I hear a piece of gravel shift to my left, I absentmindedly glance to my left to look at what made the gravel move. My heart leaps into my throat when I see the shape, I immediately dismiss the possibility of it being a cat and realize that it is one huge fucking momma raccoon with its two babies behind it. It is probably about 5 feet away from me at this point and it hadn't noticed me until I spun my head to look at it. Our eyes lock and we stare at each other for about a tenth of a second before I fucking bolt out of my chair and run to the other side of the yard. It turned around and booked it away at the exact same time I moved and it was snarling and hissing at me while it ran away. Here is a little back story before I continue -- Yesterday and the day before that the police have been setting up roadblocks just down my street. Apparently someone had robbed the gas station that is about 2 blocks away and someone had reported seeing a person fitting the description of the suspect in my neighbourhood, so that's why they have been patrolling back and forth. Anyways, about two minutes pass and my heart rate is starting to go back down as I sit back down at the other end of my yard to finish my bowl. I hear a police siren start up that sounds ridiculously close to my house. In my stoned stupor my paranoia goes into overdrive. My neighbours are relatively close, did they hear the little scuffle and mistake me for possibly being the robber and phone the cops? (a lot of older people live on my street) I was smoking in a fairly inconspicuous spot but I could still be seen from the road, did someone see me and phone the cops? ( I kind of fit the description of the robber ) The siren continues for about five minutes still really loud, and it sounds like its getting closer. At this point my heartbeat is through the roof again. A couple more minutes pass and the siren starts to fade, relief blooms inside me like a flower. I finish up my bowl and get the fuck back inside.
ive heard that before, but they just dont seem that vicious at all. i dunno why but op stoner paranoia is funny sometimes isnt it
Maybe the raccoon smelt the weed and then heard or saw the cops coming and it came back to warn you lol
