What the fuck....

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Agent 86, Sep 23, 2009.

  1. It seems like no matter what I do my girl finds no self worth. She has a two year old kid with the father being a drug addict and she thinks she is a shitty mother. I mean I know it's hard to be a single mother but I try and be there for her and build her up but she seems to be stuck on "I'm a worthless piece of shit" and I don't know what to do any more. I love her and I want to make her happy but my words seem to escape her and she seems to let little shit cripple her and no do anything. I really have no idea what to do or how to make her see the person I see her as because she always seems to make excuses not to feel good about herself. I know it's hard to be a parent with a two year old son when you are nineteen but how do I make her snap out of this? I want us to work and I have no problem being this kids father because I love them both, I just need her to stop being so negative and stop caring so much about other peoples opinions. Any advice at all?
  2. There really is nothing you can do. Time will only dictate whether or not you love her enough to put up with all this shit you mentioned or not. Do you love her enough to be dragged down with her, to stay there, and to have enough hope that one day she will get back up, or not? You won't have an immediate answer, but only time will tell.
  3. grats 2 u bro, i aint no bitches superman nah mean? i couldnt deal with kid shit that aint mine, no baby mama drama. show ur appreciation and unconditional love and make her happy and treat her like gold. mayb help her self esteem ;)
  4. be with her and support her, show her how important she is to you and the kid.
    i think romance would be helpful, go to any quiet place, chill and talk.
    listen to her man ;)
  5. This.

    you have to remind your woman who she really is. its almost like the old cliche saying "a women doesnt know how good her hair looks unless a man tells her"

    just tell her what she wants to hear (but don't belittle her). over time she'll come around.

  6. Yeah, this sounds like a good idea.

    You seem like a respectable guy, so just keep being there for her and I'm sure with your help she can learn to appreciate herself.
  7. Look her in the eye and tell her that she is beautiful 27 times.
  8. All good advice...kudos to that. I just needed to vent I suppose. I've thought all of these things and I do tell her how beautiful and important she is everyday, it's slowly making progress.
  9. do a top to bottom at the silos of her face with love hearts and shit all around it
  10. #11 Diceman, Oct 1, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 1, 2009
    people go through fazes. We all have the faze where we feel like we havn't accomplished what we should have or that we don't try hard enough.

    It's a faze we need to go through because it helps motivate you to try harder. People who are content...stay content. They never improve.

    She sounds like she actually gives a damn so even though I don't know her I believe she's doing just fine. All a child needs is love..everything else can be bought/found one way or another...as long as she's there for the kid then she is being a good mom. The fact she feels like a bad mother shows how much she cares..

    Things aren't easy being a single parent but it makes you stronger.

    Props on being a man about this. A kid isn't no hobby..it's a life long commitment. I know it can be hard for a man to form the kind of a love for a child who isn't his blood but this kid needs it. The impact you can make on his life..words can't even describe it. He needs a male figure to model after...I hope your 250% serious about accepting him as your own.

    Most men won't even clain they're own children..it takes a lot of balls to do what your doing.
  11. Lol I told her to join....turns out she has found my post about her haha.

    But yeah I can see what you're saying. It's just hard to see somebody I love think they are doing bad when in actuality they are doing a great job. Like one of the things that scares me is I have my mood changes...I'm been clinically diagnosed as depressed with social anxiety and that shit is like a light switch, it turns on and off for no reason. I don't want her to feel like I'm not there for her because that shit hits me...like I'll be a let down in a way.

  12. I'm gonna be blunt with you bro. Your the man in the situation..you need to be the rock. Don't allow ANY conditions to control your actions (I'm diagnosed for anxiety aswell so I aint just blowin steam up your ass)

    You just need to do what you say your gonna do and be around. I know your young and this is kind of forcing you to grow up kinda early but hey..that's just how shit went. I can tell you really care about this girl and her child.

    You wont be a let down to her..hell if anything she needs someone to lean on. Like I said..be her rock. Your at a serious fork in the road right now. That little boy needs you though..imagine growing up without a father figure to ask questions..and if you have then you know what I mean.

    We all have issues..I'm sure she would understand your anxiety/depression. It's not gonna last forever and no ones perfect. I wish you the best bro..either way you go.
  13. That's probably some of the best advice I've got in a really long time. Kudos to that, I really appreciate your input on the whole situation. It's your actions that define you as a man and I guess the time is coming where I really step up and prove that I'll be there no matter what.

  14. And you'll be rewarded for it trust me. Seein that kid smile when he gets to spend time with you..it's just gonna melt your heart. It's always harder to do the right thing. That's what seperates us men from the boys.

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