what the fuck man!?

Discussion in 'General' started by sodomizedjello, May 23, 2006.

  1. dont mind me
    just venting.

    fuckin shit man! fucking crazy fucking people! alright, i go to get my haircut. my fucking mom takes me seeing as how i'm fucking unemployed :rolleyes: yeah man it's really lame. i'm looking for a job i swear. *puffs on cigarillo*:smoking:
    we go to some random shitshack called the barbershop somethingorother. once inside, it occurs to me that this is a place that cuts hair for men. oh well we got a coupon and it can't really be that big of a deal, you know, all i want is a little snippet from the bottom. that's all i fucking wanted.

    a couple minutes later something else occurs to me. this place is disgusting. the ceiling tiles are stained brown in the middle with a tint of black around the edges. there's also what looks like rust on parts of the wall and ceiling. i had my baby nephew on my lap because i didn't want him to be sitting on the chair that had some stain on it looked like some bastard pissed there.

    i wanted to leave kind of, but man my mom refused because she had this fucking coupon. man. so my mom's up first and she gets a decent haircut. cool, cool.

    then there i am, sitting with that fuckin plastic sheet thing all around me all stoned and i'm like, "alright man jus have it like exactly the same just shorter. like a inch below my chin, alright?" the lady gives grunts and i guess that's some sort of confirmation that effective communication is taking place here. she starts to spray my hair down with water and brushes it, then she points to some part of my hair and says "a inch below your chin?"

    then my mom starts spouting off some shit about how she wants to donate my hair to locks of love or some bullshit and she asks if i have a foot of hair, i'm guessing because you have to have a foot in order to donate because my mom kept asking if there was a foot. man my hair isn't that fuckin long. man my mom is pretty retarded. alright, so then the lady puts my hair into a pony tail. um, ok. then OUT OF NOWHERE she clips that shit right off. snip snip and man my hair is gone. then i jump up and turn around and grab that fucking comb and sissors and jab that shit into her neck.

    no, really what happened is i just sat there like a lost puppy or some shit thinking what the hell lady!?!? then she takes the six or so inches of hair that she hacked off and gives it to my mom all fuckin proud.

    i'm pretty stoned and pretty confused about what just happened. i try to scrape up what i could of the faith and solace there is in knowing that the haircut technically is not over yet. some can still be salvaged.....right?.....right? haha, the lady trims away seemingly haphazardly while talking to my mom in some messican gibberish that i can't understand. my hair length recedes to mouth-length, and the same length all the way around. like a fucking bowl. i look like a fucking little boy. a little, homosexual boy. gah, every time my nose gets tickled by fucking hair that shouldn't be short enough to tickle my fucking nose i get filled with anger all over again! haha, fuck! i used to have nice long warm soft shiney locks down past my boobs, now it's short enough for me to fucking chew on it with my fucking cheeseburger munchies that are supposed to be yummy and satisfying not fucking annoying as shit fuck! way too fucking short! cock dick fuck ass shit!

    alright, i don't have to pay the bitch because of that two for the price of one coupon shit. so i basically hold my tongue until i get in the car. i'm driving us home and my mom gives me an awkward look and asks if i like it. i responded somewhere along the lines of NO I DON'T FUCKING LIKE IT. IT LOOKS FUCKING STUPID. WHAT KIND OF DOWN SYNDROME BITCH....FUCK!

    yeah, i was and kind of still am pretty mad that that bullshit had to go and happen. some big shit is happening in my life man and you know how when that shit is going on, little stupid shit like a stupid fucking haircut just sets you off man. i'm about to smoke a fat...a FAT..bowl and see what's up all around the city.

    yeah so, how was your night? :smoking:
  2. I need to get a haircut too....

    but sounds like a shitty night. Go enjoy that bowl
  3. well i cant read all that cuz im lazy, i got to the part about the dirty tiles... i snorted some valium and had some vodka, i have a shitty headache and i put a stupid video of myself singing... other than that i had a great night

    i like the emoticons tho, it helps me understand the story without reading
  4. shit that was straight up trippy. for like .5 second i believed you stabbed a bitch.

    i liked the story, but sorry the way it turned out.

    my night is fucking great by the way, just ate two vicodin and smoked 3/4 a bowl of haze. i cant finish the bowl, im too fucked to take anymoe.

    listening to pgroove baby, im in a mood, get ready.

    anyone else?
  5. that sucks, i need to get a haircut too.

    i picked up an ounce of what looked like beasters until i really got a chance to look at the bag at home. it grounds up really nicely and smoked great. i'm still so high from a bong a half hour ago. i'm about to crash for the night.
  6. I can completely totally and utterly sympathise with you!!! I'm sorry for your loss :(
    I recently told this hairdresser to take off 2 inches..he took off about 5..and i now look like a fucking mushroom!! I was so mad i nearly cried!
    So FUCK bad hairdressers who shouldnt be allowed near peoples hair with scissors!!!
  7. wow jello, you shoulda just stabbed her with the scissors :devious:

    atleast it will eventually grow back.....lol i dont even know what to say here, goddamn that sucks hardcore
  8. Lmao if a bitch ever did that I'd take the damn clippers and shave a straight line down their head. FUCK THAT do not mess up my hair.
  9. what a fucking bitch! i would kill whoever cut my hair extremely short:devious: i love my long hair and if someone ever fucks it up ill fuck them up!:D
  10. [quote name='i like the emoticons tho, it helps me understand the story without reading[/quote']

    that was fucking funny
  11. yeah that blows. I'm sure just about everybody has gotten a shitty haircut at one time or another. honestly i can't believe how cheap your mom is though...sounds like my mom. fucking coupons goddamit i swear she won't buy anything without one lol. but for real i would have refused to get my hair cut there what can i say, i am a stubborn jackass.

    i make sure to get my hair cut at a place where they know what their doing or i just let my hair go when i don't have the money or whatever. It's easier for guys I'm sure though especially since hobbit hair is in we got it easy if you fuck up you can just shave it and nobody will really care, I just got my hair cut on monday actually first time since december it was so nice went well got it cut by a nice looking girl and everything. sorry though, cuz that would piss me off too.
  12. damn that sucks.

    my day sort of sucks too. first day of staying clean for a few months. got kicked out of drug and alcohol treament and my p.o. knows so I don't know if going to jail for the weekend or if I'm just doing commmunity service.
  13. shoulda read the smallprint on the coupon [​IMG]

    I'da give er sum o dis [​IMG]

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