So I wake up this morning and some random guy is in my kitchen making breakfast. I'm like 'who the fuck are you?' and he tells me to chill out and that he's my mom's boyfriend. My mom wasnt even home so I thought this guy might be a robber or some shit. I've never seen this dude before, yet he's calmly frying up some eggs in my kitchen and seems to know where everything is. The audacity of this fucking guy. I wanted smash a rock over his fucking head who does he think he is??
You should invite him to smoke a blunt with you, but then leave the room when your mom is getting back so she catches him toking the blunt in your kitchen and kicks him out for blazing. That is, unless your mom is down with marijuana.
Does your mom have any secret location moles or birthmarks you can quiz him about? Just kidding dude, simply call your mom up on the phone, and ask her if the stranger in your house is one of her friends. Problem solved! (unless she doesnt know wtf your talking about, in wich case id grab my softballbat)
you should of been like "No, fuck you, you calm down! This is my house man!" Then taken all the food and ate it from him been like "bitch you didn't pay for it" hahaha
dude, that seriously sucks hard, but I thought it was funny as shit. I can just imagine that. "what the fuck?" "chill out, I'm fucking your mom" just joshin you man
LOL, this was no doubt the result of careful, delicate planning on your mom's part as to how to let you know you might have a new daddy soon.
Cant your mama love somebody. Haha Cooking eggs that means your mama got some of that pogo stick last night.
dude I dont really give a rats ass about my mom's love life, but its like at least give me a heads up there's going to be some strange fucker in my house helping himself to some breakfast. I could've seen him in there and took a baseball bat to his head and I would have been in the right
Sounds like its ya mamas house...Besides what kind of robber is gonna cook eggs before he leaves? Pretty violent stoner man...